Keep beating myself up mentally over the smallest things

[BjarkeT]

Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this? I am currently trying to practice self acceptance. It usually happens in social situations if the smallest thing doesn’t go right.

[Zigzag Idiot]

I've struggled with this myself in different ways. Over time I've come to recognize the significance of what in the Fourth Way is referred to as internal and external consider. I think these concepts can be pondered and worked with and one does not necessarily need to take on understanding the whole of the Fourth Way approach. In these two short videos explanations of inner and external considering at first, one may easily have the experience of ,,, duh,,, no shit. At least, I have had that reaction to these concepts. Over time though, I've come to appreciate the depth and practicality of these notions or phenomena,,,,

 

Added below- When these notions are delivered through a Castaneda perceptual filter;

"What distinguishes normal people is that we share a metaphorical dagger; the concerns of our self - reflection. With this dagger, we cut ourselves and bleed; and the job of our chains of self - reflection is to give us the feeling that we are bleeding together, that we are sharing something wonderful; our humanity. But if we were to examine it, we would discover that we are bleeding alone; that we are not sharing anything; that all we are doing is toying with our manageable, unreal, man-made reflection. Sorcerers are no longer in the world of daily affairs, because they are no longer prey to their self - reflection.”

Hope what I've shared is beneficial.  It's  very difficult for some of us to abandon unnecessary self criticism. Good luck!

 

[BjarkeT]

@Zigzag Idiot Thanks for your responses. If I understand correctly is external considering looking at the situation from an outside perspective instead of an inward perspective? I think that could be really helpful to help you realize that it might not be as bad as you think it is.  

Thanks for the advice much appreciated. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

8 minutes ago, BjarkeT said:

Thanks for your responses. If I understand correctly is external considering looking at the situation from an outside perspective instead of an inward perspective?

You're welcome,,, ? 

Yeah, I think you could phrase it like that. In a way it's considering what might be beneficial for others with no concern about ones own self image or going down the rabbit hole of worry about what or how others may see oneself. 

[PukkaDanks]

Maybe its not such a bad thing. I'd rather be someone who's over concious about this kind of thing that not care at all.

Maybe trying to change yourself is part of the issue!

[BjarkeT]

@PukkaDanks I am not trying to reach a point where I am not caring at all I am just trying to reach a point where I don't beat my self up mentally every time something doesn't go right in a social situation. You can still acknowledge what happens without beating yourself up. I still believe that you are 100% responsible for your life but beating yourself up constantly is really painful. 

"Maybe trying to change yourself is part of the issue!"

Do you mean that not accepting the situation as is, is causing the problem? I did mention that I am trying to practice self-acceptance or else I am not really sure what you are referring to or mean here.  

Edited July 3, 2020 by BjarkeT

[Zigzag Idiot]

Folks mean well,,, usually 

But that's a whole other can of worms,,, ? 

❤️?