Why to get in shape?

[RoerAmit]

Hey there!

So I know its not an advanced topic, but its still means a lot to me.

I am a pretty fat guy since I remember myself, and I tried to do several diets and ways to become leaner, sometimes it even succeeded, but eventually, I came back to the same weight.

I have the strategies, gym, food and everything needed. But still stuck.

I am really trying to understand why I “should” get in shape, but I can’t find a meaning that will actually make me want to change myself completely.

Maybe its OK to be fat?

I see it as a problem because it hurts to see myself fat on the mirror. And also have kind of limiting belief “Its bad to be fat”.

I feel like I don’t know what the problem is..

Lack of motivation? Low self esteem? Limiting beliefs? Not accepting and loving myself as I am, unconditionally?

How I really solve this problem? 
How we create a real life changing change?

I am tired of being fat and I want to get in shape and stay there to the rest of my life.

Someone here did this kind of change? Deep, life changing change, painful and real.

Thanks for helping

Edited July 3, 2020 by RoerAmit

[Lyubov]

Well I can say this. I went through a period a while back where I was working out hard to "change" myself and it was a very transformative experience and I really did better than I ever thought possible. I was quite proud of this at the time. Slowly though this sort of became a chore to uphold and although I continued on it was no longer an enjoyable goal I was working towards but I couldn't stop or else I'd feel guilty. I think I was coming from a place of not already being whole and complete already. There was something wrong with me that needed fixing. I think it can be hard to really establish healthy habits and more importantly enjoy the process if we are starting out with framing ourselves as broken. I still work out but now it is coming more from a place of joy and interest. I do it because it's fun for me and I like pushing myself. It isn't so much about fixing a problem or something wrong with me. I've realized now that first initial stage of going into it hard with this self help "change me" attitude was necessary for me in the beginning and teaching me the power of discipline and choice but the long term progress could only be maintained if it was coming from a genuine and self loving place. 

[hyruga]

I can't get myself fit too. I sometimes get injured while running or carrying weights or even doing push ups. It's frustrating and I also do not want nagging injury too.

[Farnaby]

@RoerAmit this may sound cliché, but I think the problem in this case is that your motivation doesn't come from a place of pursuing health but from a place of rejecting how you look right now. 

So there's probably a lot of judging yourself, blaming yourself and guilt involved. 

As you said, you have a deep rooted belief about fat = bad, so in a sense you feel that there's something wrong about you. Most of us (if not everyone) have a deep rooted feeling of "I'm not enough", so you're completely normal in this sense, don't worry. 

How do you feel when you identify with this belief about your body image? Not good right? When we don't feel good we can't have a healthy motivation. We can brute force our way to work out, which usually leads to injuries or binge eating as soon as we can. Then we feel guilty about that and it's a neverending cycle. 

My advice is to start exploring all of your parts: the one that thinks being fat is bad, the one that has needed to gain weight for some reason, etc., So you can start to integrate all of them. 

A psychotherapy would be helpful as well.

Good luck!

[Michael569]

2 hours ago, RoerAmit said:

Maybe its OK to be fat?

Well why do you think it isn't ok to be fat? 

[Yarco]

You take your health for granted right now because you can get by being fat without any short-term effects.

Think about your doctor telling you that you're going to need to go on cholesterol / high blood pressure medication. Okay, maybe not so bad. You just have to take some pills each day.

Think about your doctor telling you that you have type 2 diabetes as a result of your weight and eating habits. Now you have all this extra hassle of constantly monitoring your blood sugar levels, injecting yourself with insulin, and all the side-effects that go along with diabetes. Chances are if you stay obese you'll get diabetes in 5 - 10 years.

Think about what it will be like to have a heart attack. You don't know when or where it will happen. At some point you'll just collapse in excruciating pain and there's a chance you won't get to the hospital in time. Even if your doctor catches it early before the heart attack opens, imagine having to get your ribcage cut open with a saw and broken open like a roasted chicken to have bypass surgery, and all the pain and recovery that will entail.

Right now you're laughing because nothing has gone wrong yet. But think about the situations that you're setting your future self up for. I'm sure once you realize you need to have triple bypass surgery, you'll wonder why you couldn't have cut back on the food a bit, exercised a little more, eaten healthier.

Imagine never getting to see your kids grow up because you die early.

You can wait until it's too late, and then have regret that you did nothing once something goes seriously wrong. Or you can have the foresight to make a change now.

If you start exercising for just 1 hour a day for the next 30 years, you'll spend nearly a solid year's worth of time focused on fitness. But think about the return on investment you'll get for it. Even if you only extend your life by an extra 5 years... or better yet... improving your quality of life during your later years... then it's a no-brainer decision if you're thinking long-term. You're getting a 5-to-1 return or higher on every hour you put into fitness.

You didn't just say that looking in the mirror makes you feel uncomfortable, or some lesser word. You said it HURTS. It physically pains you to see yourself like that. Your whole body is screaming for you to do better. Imagine looking in the mirror and actually liking what you see, and being confident about yourself for the next 30 years.

You're going to suffer while dieting and starting to eat better. It's going to suck. But again, the tradeoff of being hungry for the next year because you're in a caloric deficit is still an easy choice over the alternatives.

Edited July 3, 2020 by Yarco

[28 cm unbuffed]

Your body affects your brain, your personality, your character, basically who you are. 

Look like a person that you want to be, that's my answer.

[seriousman24]

@RoerAmit

It will help you to be aware of this diet if you aren't yet.Exercise is just 20 % of the equation according to him.

[Bratcat]

The thing that would motivate me the most about losing weight if I was in your position wouldn't be health or good looks.
 Something I've noticed many times before, is the way overweight people carry themselves. Everything seems so hard and exhausting. Getting out of breath when you walk up the stairs, almost falling when you try and sit on a bycicle, having trouble getting into a car...
I don't know how overweight you are, but when I imagine having to carry an extra 50-100 kg with me everywhere I go, I'd be so much less motivated to do stuff.
But the good thing is, these things don't change only once you've reached a healthy weight, but already from the moment that you start being serious about working out. I sometimes have days where I barely wanna get out of bed and these are the days where I'm already exhausted just from standing up and doing the dishes. But on the days when I get up immediately and incorporate some kind of workout into my day or even just ride my bycicle to university or work, I feel like existing in this world is so much easier!
Same goes with eating. I do not have a healthy diet by any means! What I have learned is to eat exactly what my body tells me to, even if its storebought cookies with processed sugar. This may not work for everyone, but I have found that this way I don't get as many cravings, it's easier for me to stop eating once I'm full and I don't eat around aimlessly to try and satisfy some craving. However I like almost anything, if you're a person who doesn't like most vegetables or fruit, this may not work for you. Maybe try learning to cook.

My point is: you should lose weight, because you will feel better. I know this is hard to imagine, and I know working out can be a pain in the ass, but you can and will actually learn to enjoy the pain. You just need to stop thinking to yourself "I don't wanna do this, this is painful", and start enjoying it, because what you're doing is you're working WITH your body, not against it. You are doing something for your body, because you love yourself and simultaneously your body is doing something for you, the effects in your mental health will immediately if you have the right mindset.

[LfcCharlie4]

So you can feel your best at all times, and because exercise and eating healthy is not only extremely fun when you get into it, but is like a natural high 24/7 when you constantly fill your body with good food 24/7 and are always exercising. 

I used to be fat as a child, it took bullying for me to realize this, that definitely scarred me, and I ended up getting too skinny when I was around 13/14, I then joined the Gym when I had severe acne at 15 and found Veganism and just became obsessed with health, now I go to the gym and eat healthy because I love to, want to feel as good as possible, and want to be in good health and live as long as possible, I don't want to grow old in a terrible way like the majority of people do, due to years of poor eating and dietary habits. 

Of course it is 'okay' to be fat, accept yourself where you are at now, instead of coming from a place of rejection, you don't need to be in shape to be happy or complete. 

But, also understand that being overweight increases your risk of basically every disease out there, weakens your joints and bones, weakens your immune system and can leave you feeling sub-optimal a lot of the time. That is not meant to be offensive, it is just like telling a smoker they are more likely to get lung cancer, but it doesn't mean it's not 'okay' to smoke, we have absolute freedom to do whatever we want. 

My advice would be find out what being in shape will mean to you, why you want to do it FOREVER (diets are bollocks mostly, it needs to be a lifestyle) find exercise and nutrition you can truly enjoy, and start developing healthy habits. For me, eating healthy and exercising is simply a habit. 

So, find out WHY you want to get in shape and be healthy, I know mine and I'll NEVER go back to eating unhealthy or stopping exercising, I LOVE it way too much, and it's just so fucking fun!

 

[Toby]

@seriousman24 "Dr" Berg is no medical doctor and he is also a scientologist and donated at least 500k to scientology.