Free Love. The only way.

[Chakra Lion]

When we began to fall in love, we were just children. I moved to her small town as a nobody, a complete outsider. But I knew I would marry her after just a few short interactions. Five years later, after being madly in love, we decided to get married. She was my best friend. The woman that saw how broken I was from my childhood, she saw my scars and fears. And it didn't matter how fucked up my past was, or how stupid I acted in the present,  she chose to heal and love me regardless.  She quickly turned into my angel. The person that pulled me out of darkness over and over again. She gave me life, hope. New eyes to see through. And every step along the journey that we walked together is deeply burned into my mind and soul. I will forever love her. Her Spirit, everything about her is so beautiful. I owe her my life. And so when she began to fell in love with another man, I knew that I had to let her go. With her beautiful soul she pulled me into her journey of falling in love again. She had just began a new career as a Flight Attendant, and her transformation was incredible to watch. I had loved her when she was a young nobody wearing sweatshirts and sweatpants to school. And every day when she ate her feelings away with another pie of greasy pizza. It was easy to see her in the most beautiful light possible. Just like she had seen the light in the most horrible stories I shared with her. So as we open our relationship and she began to fall in love, I took great joy in seeing her confidence grow, regardless of my own envy. Of course there is jealousy and sometimes even hatred for what was unfolding under my control. But how could I keep her from such great entertainment. My baby became a woman. And who was I to keep her locked away from her pleasures and desires. After all, she was the soul that watched me drink and smoke my life away for how many years. She was there for me at the end of the night when I was dealing with the demons from my childhood. She was in my corner motivating me as we broke trough the many traps set by society. And we laughed at it all as we easily build something so much better, something that no one had ever seen before.

But as anyone who has been in a serious relationship can confirm, its not easy to give the person that you love all that they really need. Even if we want to pretend that we can. The truth is that Marriage and Relationships are very restricting to the freedom that our body, mind and souls fully crave. She gave me the freedom to explore and fall in love with my self. And with great energy, I awoke to many beautiful realizations of what reality was. I understood that she was me, that I am God, and so many other breathtaking teaching I was blessed to receive. In many ways, all thanks to her, and her selfless love. I am indebted to her in this life, and that is something I put on my shoulders with great joy. And now as Karma bites me in the Ego ass and I watch as her body gets filled with attention and pleasures that I had neglected from her for how many years, this is only fair She is not mine. She is free to Love anyone, and be loved by whoever she wants. I can only smile as she grows and unfolds her petals across the world. Finding peace in watching her enjoy life without me has been the hardest obstacle in my life. But yet I achieved it. And when she doesn't get watered, or she can't find the energy to water her self, I will be there to care for her. Just like I am here to care for all flowers of this World. And to limit me or anyone from that, that would be selfish love. Love cannot be caged. 

Genuine Feedback is Welcomed. 

Edited July 1, 2020 by Chakra Lion
Edit: Title Change

[max duewel]

Beautiful

[Natasha]

@Chakra Lion Thank you for sharing 

My feedback would be to reflect on the temporary nature of everything and on the amazing abundance and variety that life offers and is still out there to explore. Perhaps do some work on trauma bond that the break-up might have caused. There is no true freedom where there is still attachment. Wanting what you can't have is an old ego's game. And if you keep looking for her in other people you meet, the cycle will be always leaving you at square one. As you feel deeper, your deepest, you'll be able to move on faster. Let go.

Much love and healing to you <3

[flowboy]

You covered it in a lot of lofty words that make it sound beautiful, but I see through it because I've been through this myself. If a woman leaves you for someone else, it means that you have work to do on yourself as a man. Patting yourself on the back for being okay with it, thinking you're so spiritual for loving her unconditionally, is a distraction. Why did she leave you? Are you aimless, without passion and clear purpose? Do you have trauma that you should be processing? Do you deeply love yourself?

[Chakra Lion]

On 7/3/2020 at 3:05 AM, flowboy said:

You covered it in a lot of lofty words that make it sound beautiful, but I see through it because I've been through this myself. If a woman leaves you for someone else, it means that you have work to do on yourself as a man. Patting yourself on the back for being okay with it, thinking you're so spiritual for loving her unconditionally, is a distraction. Why did she leave you? Are you aimless, without passion and clear purpose? Do you have trauma that you should be processing? Do you deeply love yourself?

She didn't leave me. We decided to sink our relation-ship to save our friend-ship. Its all out of Love. And my intention with writing this was not to get admired by my actions, rather to share my experience, and the lesson I learned that free love is the only way to be truly free. I don't need attention or feedback, I know who I am, and I love myself. That is why I am strong enough to love watching her love someone else. I am full of Love, I am enough. I am living a beautiful life with goals that are constantly manifesting itself into my reality. Being able to Love without the fear of Loving is a beautiful perspective I'd love more people to have.

Thanks for the feedback @flowboy  ?

[flowboy]

@Chakra Lion  Alright, if it's strong enough to withstand my heckling, maybe it's for real. Congratulations.

I responded like that because I went through a similar thing, only I was only convincing myself of it to shield myself from the pain of seeing that she was hurting me and did not respect my boundaries anymore. I guess I had an unconscious impulse to wake you up to my projection. But I suppose the projection was inaccurate, and if you indeed have no regrets or bitterness about this later, you had a stronger basis of self love than I had at the time.