Radical Honesty Question

[Zec]

Using meditation to avoid acknowledging and expressing anger. Is it essential to express emotions like anger before fully Immersing myself in the practice? Will not immersing myself in the practice enable me to explode with the things I need to express?  

[lmfao]

@Zec You're asking if you should do self-actualisation work before meditative and consciousness work? Up to you. I use however many tools are at my disposal. Productivity hacks, psychology hacks, serious inquiry, meditation, diet, exercise, whatever it is, I latch onto whatever I can to climb. 
 

1 hour ago, Zec said:

Will not immersing myself in the practice enable me to explode with the things I need to express?  

Maybe you can approach meditation as definitionally being the opposite of escapism. In which case, you've been tricking yourself into thinking you're meditating when you are not.
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If consciousness work is nothing about truth and happiness, then what could be a better foundation than honesty?
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Similar to you, I'm wondering how to deal with my shadow. I've found it best for myself to not think too much about what phases a human goes through in integrating the shadow. Because I end up constructing false expectations in my head. Expectations ungrounded from reality. 

Keep it the shadow work simple. Look at what's hidden and repressed and work with it. Don't need to think about anything else. 

[Aquarius]

@Zec Feeling in to your emotions should be part of your meditation practice, because what meditation really is for is not repressing things or even letting go, but becoming aware. I feel like if someone has gained a deeper awareness or mindfulness through meditation they will usually express their feelings more immediately, thus they will not be resentful for a longer period, I mean emotional scarring, trauma will be avoided. Anger will be expressed in time, in a conscious manner (if the person has developed the skill of communicating in a radical honest manner). Aim to be keep awareness outside of meditation practice too.

Also feelings become more intense and "real", as you become radically honest with yourself.

Edited June 30, 2020 by Aquarius

[Farnaby]

I'm also interested in this. IME, you can meditate before fully expressing your anger. What does fully expressing actually mean? You will feel anger throughout your life. If we had to wait until we have expressed all of our emotions before doing spiritual practices, we would never start. 

@Aquarius Could you give an example of how a person would express their anger in a conscious and honest manner? 

[Aquarius]

@Farnaby Get in touch with your emotions and don't repress them. When you feel angry with someone maybe you just sit quietly to avoid confrontation, but it's a smarter idea to talk it through with said person. Like honestly telling them, "Look, you hurt me with *this statement*." And then elaborating on what they said and why it was hurtful. In a way letting the person know why they should avoid talking to you like that.

If you're angry with yourself, or at life, just honestly ask yourself what it is that really bothers you. And acknowledging the feeling behind anger, which is usually sadness, or shame or other negative emotion. For me it helps to just cry it out, like really just let yourself cry if something hurts. You're going to be so much stronger after that. 

Edited June 30, 2020 by Aquarius

[Farnaby]

42 minutes ago, Aquarius said:

@Farnaby Get in touch with your emotions and don't repress them. When you feel angry with someone maybe you just sit quietly to avoid confrontation, but it's a smarter idea to talk it through with said person. Like honestly telling them, "Look, you hurt me with *this statement*." And then elaborating on what they said and why it was hurtful. In a way letting the person know why they should avoid talking to you like that.

If you're angry with yourself, or at life, just honestly ask yourself what it is that really bothers you. And acknowledging the feeling behind anger, which is usually sadness, or shame or other negative emotion. For me it helps to just cry it out, like really just let yourself cry if something hurts. You're going to be so much stronger after that. 

@Aquarius Thank you! Yes, I agree it's usually better to talk it through rather than bypass it through meditation. I think talking it through opens the window for a deeper bond. However, I find that I get very rational and it feels as if the anger doesn't heal as good as if you cry when you feel hurt. 

I also agree that anger often covers some childhood sadness, especially in men. 

[Zec]

Definitely have emotions and thoughts stirring even more disturbingly during my meditation. Been doing it for 6 months after the beginners meditation video from Leo. Did therapy one time and then ended up telling my dad in a disturbed tone how much I hate things. Which did something tho there is so much more hidden.  Telling the truth to my close ones is damn tuff for me. I’m thinkin of doing Brad Blanton's workshop to get this done. 

[Roy]

@Zec Well, you have to ask yourself honestly; Is that anger valid anger, or unwarranted anger? Where is it coming from? Explore that deeply first.

What meditation will do is train your awareness. It doesn't avoid acknowledging your anger. It DIRECTLY acknowledges it so when it arises you can realize it for what it is, and then let it pass. Instead of being consumed by the emotion.

Edited July 1, 2020 by Roy

[Zec]

I can’t do that. I definitely commit to meditation tho I don’t want to let it pass. 

[kag101]

I don’t think you need meditation right now — but instead good psychotherapy.