Struggling with Enlightenment vs Purpose and Meaning in Life

[Stephen]

I really feel this is relevant for a lot of people here. I will try and keep it general so people struggling and souls going through dark nights can come here for help.

I am aware that I have a long way to go regarding enlightenment and leading a happy life. But right now I am stuck between both and have lost my engagement for both.

I have had jaw dropping glimpses of what I would consider enlightenment. (Both on psychedelics and naturally)  Love and beauty that left me stunned and drowned in love beyond compare. Probably the best moments of my life.

After these experiences I have a glow and love for life but it quickly fades and my mind focuses on meaninglessness and I have no desire to meditate. I know I should be doing actual spiritual practices but in doing so I get depressed. It's like I don't want enlightenment, I don't want meaninglessness. Simultaneously, I fail to actualize my dream goals in life.

Maybe I am failing on the integration part.

Now back to earth:

My struggle is that although I have a mission and passions I struggle with the thoughts of "why bother - if this is just an illusion"

I am a bit confused as Leo talks about if he was to leave his body; none of this would matter. But he also says that he would like to make preparations and say goodbye to his loved ones.

Do our loved ones (I understand we are all 1) stay here after we leave our bodies? Is leaving a legacy, love and the world a better place worth it or does it not matter?

Are we on earth to grow through challenge and play?

Or is enlightenment the only game in town?

Does working on my purpose actually mean anything?

I feel I should create a beautiful life and give to humanity but am torn by thoughts of illusion.

I am aware I am nowhere near enlightened,

Is there any point in helping other on their way?

Should I do it just for the sake of doing it and play in creation. Will this even matter on my souls journey?

Thanks very much everyone. I know this post makes me sound terrible and whiny but the last 2 months have been dark for me struggling with meaninglessness.  But I am doing well in life in general. Thanks <3

[Stephen]

I dread to think of the reaction gif Leo is going to have for  me  

 

I know I am messed up SOMEWHERE but I just can't find where. Spiritually or practically on earth ? 

[Ook]

Hang in there, you're not alone

[tuckerwphotography]

Maybe a purpose to live into is to help awaken others so they too can experience the wonderful love and bliss you’ve felt. In that way you’ll be doing “God’s work.” 

Edited July 1, 2020 by tuckerwphotography

[MDMD]

Personally, I think you’d benefit from identifying with helping all people. By finding a way to serve the world you’d clear up caring about lots of these questions and you could find that meaning again. 

[wwhy]

Is there really any enlightened, living human being?

Realize that you are here in this lifetime as a human being, regardless of where you came from or where you are going. And nobody really knows in the end for sure... we are all just humans at this very moment.  Anyone who claims to know 100% about it is selling you their brand of religion/spiritualism.

So just be human, the best human you can be.

[anaj]

Be careful being so quick to decide that life is meaningless. Life is not meaningless. What is Leo saying? There is no objective reality. What follows from this? Surely there is no objective meaning then, but there is no objective anything, which means that there can't be the absence of meaning either. In other words, it's not that there is a bunch of objective stuff out there, among which objective meaning is absent. No, there is no objective anything, which means that there is no subjective things either. Once you abolish on side of the coin the other goes with it. What's left is experiencing, and that can be absolutely infused with meaningfulness. This idea that there's no objective meaning is only half the story. There is no objective anything, which means that nothing can be missing or absent from said objective reality either, so the psychological effect of the "lack" of objective meaning is ungrounded on philosophical analysis. 

[Gesundheit]

@Stephen It's just a phase, confusing as it is, but it will pass, and there will be clarity.