32.5ug LSD 'Trip report' - A Glimpse of the Mystical nature of reality

[Javfly33]

Took a very small dose of acid last Thursday, but it turn out to be very powerful because of the set and setting.

I've discovered that while doing trips with a set and a setting that would be considered "bad" or "difficult moments" (for example, anxiety) can be a bad idea because the trip might be overwhelming for your ego, talking very small doses in this precise times, can be quite enlightening and it's a strategy I've used a lot the last year to go deep into my anxiety and basically all the shadow stuff.

 

00:00 Started cleaning the house.

01:00 I started crying how hard last year has been discovering all the shadows and conditionings that have caused me suffering all my life (Identity, in other words, the ego). The crying felt really good to accept myself and realize I've grown a lot the last year's and realize that you can't "build Rome in a day". My ego has a tendency to "solve everything fast" and that can be stressful when healing takes time. It helped to accept taking things slowly after a lot of grown.

02:00 I lay down in the floor and close my eyes. I pull out my phone to turn up some music. While doing this Internal dialogue was subsiding a lot. Here is the first glimpse of my awesomeness Nature, I realize that the phone it's me! I am in the present moment! I have been living all my life in a story in my thoughts, therefore being totally like in a prison. Switching this dynamic to be aware that I am the present moment made realize that I can always be free.

03:00 I totally lay down and put some music finally. Now suddenly "someone" which is not me is watching through my eyes. Now I surrender and slowly an existential Peace washes over me. 

03:30 My neighbor starts making noises with a machine. It's quite disturbing. I notice this noise is pulling me out of my peace. But I don't know why I kept surrendering, and realize that there's no separation between the neighbour and me. We both are creating the noise. I am literally making that fucking noise up there. 

04:00 I sit with my back straight up, look at my most near objets in front of me and ask myself what is Conscioussness. Suddenly I got it. Conscioussness is not an intellectual answer. It is reality! Conscioussness is creating reality. I start laughing and crying of how good the joke is .

04:30 I take a shower. Here I am not able to describe what happen, but it felt like I started getting a "download" from higher intelligence. It wasn't words. They were direct, so I couldn't know what it was that it was downloaded, just that it was something very deep about reality. I got some kind of scared, and I said out loud "Wow, God, Jesus, Ok. ok, this enough, I can't handle much more. Jesus. This is intense" and suddenly I stopped receiving the "download". I remembered @Leo Gura when he said that God wants to show to you but also doesn't want you to become traumatized. 

05:00 I lay down in the couch, and a kind of bad vibe starts creeping in. I am not sure why it was but it felt like experiencing what I had experience was very overwhelming because of how real it was. I felt like reality was totally out of my control, and it is quite mad. I realized that I understand 0.00001% of reality and that made me quite ungrounded, at this point I was glad that most of the time I live in a very unconscious state of consciousness, because high states of consciousness are not easy to digest even though apparently it's where Nirvana it's at . But I'm sure I LL keep going towards truth even though when it gets so real it scares me 

05:30 Send a message to my therapist saying a proper goodbye (since I just had stopped going withouth saying a proper goodbye due to Covid) saying thanks to her and sending her a hug. What can you do that love facet of Lsd gets me everytime.

 

Thanks all for reading ❣️

Edited June 28, 2020 by Javfly33

[DevOcean]

Good stuff.  Thanks for sharing!

[flowboy]

Nice!