Social media is bullshit, so what should I do to get quality friendships?

[Aquarius]

So many people I met on social media, but all of them are bullshitting humans, maybe a few good artist friends, but the rest are just males looking for female attention from someone that has a decent profile picture. I had an okay profile picture and all guys were like you're the most beautiful woman yadda yadda, the usual bullshit i dont buy, I feel like it's all just people trying to impress someone they look up to but it's so shallow. It's all based on how someone looks. If I looked ugly none would care about my talents or dreams or other stuff that makes me, me. 

Also I noticed I post a lot of shit. I'm a very random person with all kinds of moods. Social media is dangerous on the image I project in this sense, especially with 1000+ friends. If I'm friends with someone shit, then they affect who I am and I post what they would post. I feel like I ruined everything lately because I posted lots of shit I regret. And there are all sorts of people who are stalking me and judge me.

I added all kinds of people that sent me requests.. i had like 700 requests. They are all bullshit people who either send d*ck pics or talk in different language. Rarely someone intelligent, but even intelligent people are not what I look for. I want someone to come with ideas, someone to work with. They all just wanna talk, all day, all just wanna chat. What the fuck do these people even work? How do they allow themselves to spend so much time on social media?  They also have nothing to offer, or just offer that they are "a nice loving open-minded very open man that is kind and always good".. you get it.  they're also old and writing poems and all kinds of desperates etc. I have a 100+ messages to read and delete and sort and respond and block. Depends on the person.

I wanted to create a different account or just delete it? idk. I need it to keep up with friends who are close to me, but the rest I just lost, idk, im in a weird place in my life where I cannot trust anyone.

 

I did an attempt at pickup in my town last sunday and I met a guy who I approached and picked up successfully. He is spiritual, into Ekhart Tolle, artist, and now we are working together as a team to gain more money. This is what I was looking for. Why aren't more people like this? He still thinks someone made me approach him, because it's unbelievable for him that there are people whom you can work with, and people who are into growth and grow themselves. Also girls don't really do pickup.

Should I just do pickup and/or approach guys and girls to talk with in the park? Facebook is a mess and isn't good for meeting friends. But people here are not that openminded to someone approaching them. 

What else can I do to meet quality friends to work with?

[VerballyHazardous]

@Aquarius

I usually do a process i called "Selective purging" but i do it with musics that i listen to. I listen to older songs that i used to like then decide whether the song is worth listening to or not (does it give me the feeling that i wanted it to), if not then i would remove it from the list.

Do the same with those online friends, ask yourself what kind of things are these people bringing into your life, what do they really want from you. If they are just thirsty males looking for a living sex toy, then selectively purge them from your friendlist.

Be more perceptive of those bad people, don't let them approach you in the first place. Notice the subtle vibe that they have, check what kind of contents are they into, what do they value as a person, ect.

If you want to, change your profile picture to something else, the first thing those kind of guys judge about womens is their physical appearance (or in this case, digital appearance). Change it to something like an object, a plants of some sort, an animal or maybe just a skull with googly eyes.

Also also, ask yourself where would those good person hang out in ? You probably couldn't find a vegan hippie friend in 4chan, could you ?

Edited June 27, 2020 by VerballyHazardous

[Roy]

Judging by what you've said @Aquarius I think the best thing to do is mentally detox yourself from social media. Delete/close/lock all your accounts for everything you have (including this forum) except your cellphone for 14 days or a full month. Just set X amount of time and seriously commit to doing it.

Take this time to really contemplate what you want out of these things, and who exactly you want to connect with. Detach from threads, conversations, incidents that stir up any negative emotions for you. Think about them for a bit, what they were, what happened, then accept and forget them. When you come back vigorously delete, unsubscribe, and unfriend all the channels and people who have caused stress for you in any way (or are pointless/who you don't talk to). I mean sit down with a coffee or something for hours and go through each and every little one.

What you want in the end is a very clean and dedicated sources of information and contacts with those people and things that you get true value out of and that help serve your larger vision or purpose for your life. You'll be spending less time on it all but most importantly it will quality time.

I did this some years ago and do it over again every 6 months roughly and my happiness and content has improved tremendously. Your time and attention is precious, and your engagement with the world and people should reflect that.

I really hope you consider what I've said. Good luck  - Roy

Edited June 27, 2020 by Roy

[Aquarius]

@VerballyHazardous Well idk I just made a new account and added about 35 friends. It's all I needed. Would've been too hard to delete and block 1000+ people.

And I mean.. online friends are cool, but I was looking for something that could happen in real life. Most people I met online were terrible friends. I don't really keep in touch with my friends in real life because they live someplace else. Right now the only friend I have is the one I approached a week ago. And im not even looking for too many friends, just maybe a few more to hang out with and discuss serious matters like here on actualized with you guys.

@Roy Thanks Roy! I don't use social media much. I deleted my facebook and made a new one. A clean slate. I never used facebook much. I use youtube and spotify to listen to music that's all. I don't have much negativity in my life and never had. I'm a really chill person.  But thanks, if I did all that and had all that crap in my life, I'd probably detox once  a month. 

My main question was how to find more friends though.

@blueberries No idea and they were from very specific Asian and African countries. But I live in Europe. I don't even know how they found me, we had no mutual friends. I guess Facebook has an algorithm or something.