'Flirting' message of my gf to work colleague

[Roy]

@Chris365 Yea you shouldn't have to carry the load so one sided like that, a relationship is about sacrificing for each other but it has to go both ways. If she gets defensive and so reactive over bringing up such innocuous things and blows them into bigger ones it's a sign of immaturity and lack of emotional development on her part.

Just make sure with the next person you find you lay down the foundation firmly very early so it's fair. Sadly most people will walk over someone else if they can, if it happens to make their lives easier, happens even between partners.

[Preety_India]

 

5 hours ago, Chris365 said:

@Pretty_india, we are breaking up for a different reason, her dinner was not ready at 6pm when she got off work

It's her extreme emotional states that I don't want or need anymore. Whenever the next perceived mistake happens I don't really want to be dealing with it.

 

I can't put my finger on it but it seems there's something lacking in this relationship. 

Yes, orgasms 

 

Tbh I've only written about 10% of her quirks, and I feel like I've been the one making adjustments to my life to accommodate her. I cannot think of 1 thing she had to change ... I like to think I have some preferences but I can let them go for her sake, some of hers (they are quute fixed and cannot be adjusted so that's what we're doing): sleeping room temperature warm, only 1 meal a day in the evening ,  in the beginning it was raw vegan organic, now only vegan, I'm making her pancakes EVERY night, only bottled Evian water, sleep has to be at 11pm, she needs her back rubbed a certain way for minutes a couple of times a day, I'm doing the dishes 9 times out of 10 (she's working 9 hours sometimes and is exhausted (sometimes 4 hours but she doesn't care about those)), I'm always the one cleaning the toilets and vacuuming, I always research anything we need and also buy it,

I'm  99% of the time dropping her in work and picking her up from work, I'm always doing the grocery shopping (she might be there with me 10% of the time, never does it alone)

See, being a till operator is exhausting work, and me working in IT I'm 'basically sitting on a chair all day'

Come to think of it, the one thing she does is laundry ( I've done it once)

Don't get me wrong, i don't mind adjusting my way if it makes her happy. But if I feel it's not recognized... I'm kinda losing interest.

 

Talking to her about all this? Fuck that, I'm outta here... it'll only provoke more fights 

It's true, wars have been started for lesser things than her ass, but c'mon... I have to stop coming from a place of lack... there must be others out there... 

I don't quite understand you. I'm not being judgemental here but something is off. 

Do you really love her? 

The last sentence is not a good response. You could always say that for every relationship "there must be others out there", you don't date a person because you can't find someone better than them

 You date a person because you have fallen in love with them. And once that happens you don't think constantly that there are better people out there, because there will always be better people out there. I'm not telling you that this relationship is good. But I'm trying to correct your mentality which can be a problem in your future relationships. 

For example my ex used to always tell me that he could be with someone better. I broke up with him and he regretted it. Because men carry dissonance in them created by porn and social media culture that makes them objectify women without actually realizing that they are really doing it. 

You said that you don't want to confront her because it will provoke more fights. Can you imagine getting married and your sweet calm partner slowly changing in character and getting angry during fights. So you wouldn't fight? If you thought like that, none of your relationships will ever work, you can't expect a relationship to never have its ups and downs. It will always have its cute moments and tense moments. That's why relationships are not easy. You are calling her immature but you not wanting to confront her is also immaturity. How do you think you are going to have a relationship with a woman who never gets angry? 

If a person, man or woman never got angry, there must be something wrong with them? 

Plus given the stress of modern living, a couple constantly fighting is not very hard to imagine. If a woman didn't show anger, she will most likely at least give you a cold treatment. Women have ways to show their anger, some are visible and some are not. But it's kinda stupid to think that your girlfriend shouldn't be mad about something. As if she should be some mute doll in a glass case. 

You need to understand women a bit deeper. I am a woman so I know other women. Don't expect a woman to always be chill. And even if she is, you might get bored and begin to crave some drama. Some guys like it hot. They laugh when a girl gets mad. They find it cute. Maybe it's a cultural thing I don't know. 

In my opinion I never saw a woman standing like a Saint and walking like a model all the time. A woman's emotions is what makes her lively and interesting. She is that way for a reason. She can't be a cold fish.. 

And a hotter girl can come with a hotter temper, not always but sometimes. 

Take it easy. This is life. It's not a classroom where everyone has to be quiet. 

And don't whine so much about what you have to do in a relationship and how much. By your logic all women should give up relationships because they do cooking, laundry, shopping, sex, working, and giving birth and raising your children and a lot more. If a woman thought like a man, all relationships would end in a minute. 

I had to do all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, sex, shopping, and almost everything under the roof for my second ex but I never complained about it. He used to come home tired and I had to to be there for him at all times. It is used to be exhausting for me but at the same time I used to love doing the cleaning and the cooking because I was doing it for my future husband or boyfriend. 

As a person who wants a relationship to eventually turn to marriage and family, work will always be a part of it. Also when you have kids, there will be more work like changing diapers in the middle of the night. 

These are called sacrifices that are needed in a long term relationship or marriage. That's why people look tired in a marriage because it takes a toll on them

 You need to seriously reconsider your outlook on relationships. Maybe this relationship is not healthy for you, but no relationship is ever perfect to a T. All relationships have some or other problem, it's up to you to decide what you can take and what you can't. 

But remember that you are in a relationship because you love that person and not because you can't be with someone better. It's not an audition. 

 

 

[egoeimai]

48 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 

I don't quite understand you. I'm not being judgemental here but something is off. 

Do you really love her? 

The last sentence is not a good response. You could always say that for every relationship "there must be others out there", you don't date a person because you can't find someone better than them

 You date a person because you have fallen in love with them. And once that happens you don't think constantly that there are better people out there, because there will always be better people out there. I'm not telling you that this relationship is good. But I'm trying to correct your mentality which can be a problem in your future relationships. 

For example my ex used to always tell me that he could be with someone better. I broke up with him and he regretted it. Because men carry dissonance in them created by porn and social media culture that makes them objectify women without actually realizing that they are really doing it. 

You said that you don't want to confront her because it will provoke more fights. Can you imagine getting married and your sweet calm partner slowly changing in character and getting angry during fights. So you wouldn't fight? If you thought like that, none of your relationships will ever work, you can't expect a relationship to never have its ups and downs. It will always have its cute moments and tense moments. That's why relationships are not easy. You are calling her immature but you not wanting to confront her is also immaturity. How do you think you are going to have a relationship with a woman who never gets angry? 

If a person, man or woman never got angry, there must be something wrong with them? 

Plus given the stress of modern living, a couple constantly fighting is not very hard to imagine. If a woman didn't show anger, she will most likely at least give you a cold treatment. Women have ways to show their anger, some are visible and some are not. But it's kinda stupid to think that your girlfriend shouldn't be mad about something. As if she should be some mute doll in a glass case. 

You need to understand women a bit deeper. I am a woman so I know other women. Don't expect a woman to always be chill. And even if she is, you might get bored and begin to crave some drama. Some guys like it hot. They laugh when a girl gets mad. They find it cute. Maybe it's a cultural thing I don't know. 

In my opinion I never saw a woman standing like a Saint and walking like a model all the time. A woman's emotions is what makes her lively and interesting. She is that way for a reason. She can't be a cold fish.. 

And a hotter girl can come with a hotter temper, not always but sometimes. 

Take it easy. This is life. It's not a classroom where everyone has to be quiet. 

And don't whine so much about what you have to do in a relationship and how much. By your logic all women should give up relationships because they do cooking, laundry, shopping, sex, working, and giving birth and raising your children and a lot more. If a woman thought like a man, all relationships would end in a minute. 

I had to do all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, sex, shopping, and almost everything under the roof for my second ex but I never complained about it. He used to come home tired and I had to to be there for him at all times. It is used to be exhausting for me but at the same time I used to love doing the cleaning and the cooking because I was doing it for my future husband or boyfriend. 

As a person who wants a relationship to eventually turn to marriage and family, work will always be a part of it. Also when you have kids, there will be more work like changing diapers in the middle of the night. 

These are called sacrifices that are needed in a long term relationship or marriage. That's why people look tired in a marriage because it takes a toll on them

 You need to seriously reconsider your outlook on relationships. Maybe this relationship is not healthy for you, but no relationship is ever perfect to a T. All relationships have some or other problem, it's up to you to decide what you can take and what you can't. 

But remember that you are in a relationship because you love that person and not because you can't be with someone better. It's not an audition. 

 

 

Perfectly said. I agree.

@Chris365Also if it makes you miserable you can go but growing happens in staying sometimes. Loving someone and accepting them for the things you said that are bothering you is the hard part but it's gonna pay off someday you'll feel that you loved and accepted this person and deep down you'll feel good because accepting her is accepting you and everyone. And that's peace and freedom. Not everyone can do this. When you get old you'll remember all the things that you did and how you treated people. I'm not trying to make you feel guilt or something - if it's sounds like this - all I mean is that you'll feel grateful for what you've accomplished in the future. You'll be fine and content with yourself. But the thought that they bothered you, they didn't accept u or something or you couldn't love them is not gonna make u feel good. anyways. If you don't resonate with this, ignore.

Edited June 28, 2020 by egoeimai

[Chris365]

Hey, I only put these last thoughts down when the relationship was already over, looking back I started realizing I'm not really happy. Except the sex part was good.

The sex jokes were I guess poor attempts, they were hilarious in my head... of course that's not the way I think about women.

Another thought I had last night is how much free time I have now, to do whatever I please, not to attempt to entertain her, for fear of her getting bored. It is really freeing, a good sign in my mind that we were not a good match. 

We are just so different in our personality types, and the way we see the world, that I constantly tried to abstain from expressing my  thoughts for fear of her not getting offended or upset. For example, she's really into conspiracy theories, chemtrails, lizard people, numerology, illuminati, channellings (I used to read Mike Quinsey and Blossom Goodchild with her, mindnumbing stuff), past lives, souls. You name it, she believes in it. I'm a previous hardcore atheist, and constantly had to bite my tongue about these things.

She is a great girl, made me feel extremely loved and cared for ( when dinner was cooked), she has a perfect body, and I feel I've grown a lot in this relationship. She actually introduced me to spirituality, and I'll always love her be thankful to her for what she's offered me so freely . It's just that now I feel I'm moving past it, and we started growing apart...

Edited June 28, 2020 by Chris365

[Chris365]

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

I don't quite understand you. I'm not being judgemental here but something is off. 

Do you really love her? 

I do 

The last sentence is not a good response. You could always say that for every relationship "there must be others out there", you don't date a person because you can't find someone better than them

Poor joke attempt on my part, I've always been quite sarcastic in general (this changed in this relationship, which I see as a good thing for me)

 You date a person because you have fallen in love with them. And once that happens you don't think constantly that there are better people out there, because there will always be better people out there. I'm not telling you that this relationship is good. But I'm trying to correct your mentality which can be a problem in your future relationships. 

The thoughts I expressed about 'someone better' are maybe a way of coping with the breakup. I NEVER thought this during our relationship, I was really worshipping her

For example my ex used to always tell me that he could be with someone better. I broke up with him and he regretted it. Because men carry dissonance in them created by porn and social media culture that makes them objectify women without actually realizing that they are really doing it. 

Oh I realize I objectify her sometimes, and she was very good with her reaction. Yes, we talked about our most hidden fears and thoughts, and we comforted each other. That's what I will miss most (the comfort and reassurance we provided to each other)

You said that you don't want to confront her because it will provoke more fights. Can you imagine getting married and your sweet calm partner slowly changing in character and getting angry during fights. So you wouldn't fight? If you thought like that, none of your relationships will ever work, you can't expect a relationship to never have its ups and downs. It will always have its cute moments and tense moments. That's why relationships are not easy. You are calling her immature but you not wanting to confront her is also immaturity. How do you think you are going to have a relationship with a woman who never gets angry? 

If a person, man or woman never got angry, there must be something wrong with them? 

Plus given the stress of modern living, a couple constantly fighting is not very hard to imagine. If a woman didn't show anger, she will most likely at least give you a cold treatment. Women have ways to show their anger, some are visible and some are not. But it's kinda stupid to think that your girlfriend shouldn't be mad about something. As if she should be some mute doll in a glass case. 

This wasn't our first fight. I didn't want to provoke more, because we were already (in the process of) splitting up

You need to understand women a bit deeper. I am a woman so I know other women. Don't expect a woman to always be chill. And even if she is, you might get bored and begin to crave some drama. Some guys like it hot. They laugh when a girl gets mad. They find it cute. Maybe it's a cultural thing I don't know. 

In my opinion I never saw a woman standing like a Saint and walking like a model all the time. A woman's emotions is what makes her lively and interesting. She is that way for a reason. She can't be a cold fish.. 

And a hotter girl can come with a hotter temper, not always but sometimes. 

Take it easy. This is life. It's not a classroom where everyone has to be quiet. 

And don't whine so much about what you have to do in a relationship and how much. By your logic all women should give up relationships because they do cooking, laundry, shopping, sex, working, and giving birth and raising your children and a lot more. If a woman thought like a man, all relationships would end in a minute. 

I'm only 'whining' now that the relationship is over. I never felt like this while doing it, like you said, it is a normal part of a relationship. But in the end, her expectations were too much for me to meet.

I had to do all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, sex, shopping, and almost everything under the roof for my second ex but I never complained about it. He used to come home tired and I had to to be there for him at all times. It is used to be exhausting for me but at the same time I used to love doing the cleaning and the cooking because I was doing it for my future husband or boyfriend. 

As a person who wants a relationship to eventually turn to marriage and family, work will always be a part of it. Also when you have kids, there will be more work like changing diapers in the middle of the night. 

These are called sacrifices that are needed in a long term relationship or marriage. That's why people look tired in a marriage because it takes a toll on them

Retrospectively I feel I made the most compromises - can't think of a single one she had to make because of me. I loved meeting her needs, but it still in the end wasn't enough

 You need to seriously reconsider your outlook on relationships. Maybe this relationship is not healthy for you, but no relationship is ever perfect to a T. All relationships have some or other problem, it's up to you to decide what you can take and what you can't. 

But remember that you are in a relationship because you love that person and not because you can't be with someone better. It's not an audition. 

Yes, again, poor joke attempt on my part

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@Chris365

Yea. Now that you have already broken up with her for good, you can now focus on the future and look for a person who is not so demanding and you don't have to feel like you owe anything to them. 

If you feel pressured and dominated then that's not a good relationship. It's good that you made the right decision 

You always take up how much you allow to.  that's why setting boundaries is so important.. 

 

Retrospectively I feel I made the most compromises - can't think of a single one she had to make because of me. I loved meeting her needs, but it still in the end wasn't enough

You made a very powerful statement. That's not how a relationship should be. Yes sacrifices are a must. But you shouldn't have to feel like a donkey in a relationship taking all the burden all by yourself meanwhile the other person doesn't share a bit. I would call such a person narcissistic and selfish. If you are trying to meet her needs, then you are a good person. And she should be grateful. Too bad she is not. 

You need to move on as fast as you can because such people usually have a hold on the soul. 

Wrap up this chapter of your life and learn the lesson to never waste your time again on such people. They are toxic and selfish and expect you to be their servant on demand. 

Move on and find a wholesome woman who loves you as much as you love her. Who shares your struggles and understands your concerns instead of screaming at you and making you look bad because their needs weren't met. 

If you try harder, you will soon find  a healthy loving good partner 

I wish you all the happiness. Take care. 

 

 

Edited June 28, 2020 by Preety_India

[integral]

@Roy

10 hours ago, Roy said:

@Chris365 Yea you shouldn't have to carry the load so one sided like that, a relationship is about sacrificing for each other but it has to go both ways. If she gets defensive and so reactive over bringing up such innocuous things and blows them into bigger ones it's a sign of immaturity and lack of emotional development on her part.

Just make sure with the next person you find you lay down the foundation firmly very early so it's fair. Sadly most people will walk over someone else if they can, if it happens to make their lives easier, happens even between partners.

Sacrificing in relationships is foolishness. This entire thread is filled with unhealthy co-dependent relationship talk. Blindly walking the path culture has told you to be. 

GO META. Wake up. 

Edited June 28, 2020 by integral

[Preety_India]

 

2 hours ago, integral said:

@Roy

Sacrificing in relationships is foolishness. This entire thread is filled with unhealthy co-dependent relationship talk. Blindly walking the path culture has told you to be. 

GO META. Wake up. 

@Roy is right about it. Relationships need sacrifice from both sides and it has to go both ways. Don't see a problem with his opinion. Also it's not Codependency to keep boundaries in relationships. Like you're suggesting.

Please read about Codependency to know what it actually means. You are calling a normal relationship codependency. 

Relationships start with a need, a need to give love and receive love, a need for emotional support and companionship. Wanting and needing healthy companionship is not Codependency. 

Codependency is an unhealthy relationship dynamic that lacks boundaries and bad behavior from one person is tolerated by another out of the fear of losing the relationship and not setting boundaries, such a behavior is observed in people with low self esteem and they don't stand up for themselves and continue to remain in the toxic relationship as long as it affords them escape from loneliness. 

Normal relationships have a healthy dose of neediness and independence both. Whereas Codependent relationships are marred by abuse and dysfunction. Sacrifices in a Codependent relationship are made in an unhealthy manner and have dangerous consequences. Whereas sacrifices made in a normal healthy relationship are a sign of trust and faithfulness and care for each other.

Sacrifices in normal relationships are normal. Monogamy, commitment, loyalty and trust are also completely normal. 

Just because something is created by culture, does not make it automatically wrong. We follow a paradigm because we are comfortable with that paradigm. Because our basic instincts and interests support that paradigm 

Human basic instincts are geared towards creating a foundation of love trust, loyalty, commitment, sacrifices, sharing, mutual need and companionship. 

There is nothing foolish or outdated or indoctrinated about it. 

 

[Scholar]

Seems to me like you haven't been authentic in this relationship from the start, this is why it's a terrible idea. And also you might be trying to justify why everything was terrible now that you have given up the relationship, to reassure yourself it was the right choice.

 

That's all low consciousness. Simply observe how much your ego is flailing about, this is an oppurtunity to grow.

[Roy]

4 hours ago, integral said:

Sacrificing in relationships is foolishness. This entire thread is filled with unhealthy co-dependent relationship talk. Blindly walking the path culture has told you to be. 

GO META. Wake up. 

Please enlighten me with your woke Red Pill truth about how a man is supposed to be blindly marching forward in life towards his life purpose with zero care for his partner, as the woman is supposed to latch on to his thigh like a parasite clings onto the shell of a crustacean - Sacrificing everything about herself in order to convenience him and make him happy.

[integral]

@Roy @Preety_India Love and care is not dependent on relationships. The "i am in a relationship" perspective is one where 2 people sign a unspoken contract with each other. Breaking the rules of that contract = suffering. This is the insanity. Going meta means designing this contract from scratch, to something realistic, not to what culture has mandated. 

2 hours ago, Roy said:

Please enlighten me with your woke Red Pill truth about how a man is supposed to be blindly marching forward in life towards his life purpose with zero care for his partner, as the woman is supposed to latch on to his thigh like a parasite clings onto the shell of a crustacean - Sacrificing everything about herself in order to convenience him and make him happy.

lmao, great analogy, but not at all what im talking about. All of this is 2 immature people applying methods to "make" a relationship work, by navigating each others flaws. Maturity means independence and oneness, there is no need to receive anything from anyone and love is given with out attachment or requirements. A mature relationship understands the impermanence of the relationship, the individuals do not want or need anything from each other. The relationship is dissolved, there is only  2 people enjoying the time they have together with 0 expectations. 

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

@Roy is right about it. Relationships need sacrifice from both sides and it has to go both ways. Don't see a problem with his opinion. Also it's not Codependency to keep boundaries in relationships. Like you're suggesting.

Please read about Codependency to know what it actually means. You are calling a normal relationship codependency. 

Relationships start with a need, a need to give love and receive love, a need for emotional support and companionship. Wanting and needing healthy companionship is not Codependency. 

Codependency is an unhealthy relationship dynamic that lacks boundaries and bad behavior from one person is tolerated by another out of the fear of losing the relationship and not setting boundaries, such a behavior is observed in people with low self esteem and they don't stand up for themselves and continue to remain in the toxic relationship as long as it affords them escape from loneliness. 

Normal relationships have a healthy dose of neediness and independence both. Whereas Codependent relationships are marred by abuse and dysfunction. Sacrifices in a Codependent relationship are made in an unhealthy manner and have dangerous consequences. Whereas sacrifices made in a normal healthy relationship are a sign of trust and faithfulness and care for each other.

Sacrifices in normal relationships are normal. Monogamy, commitment, loyalty and trust are also completely normal. Just because something is created by culture, does not make it automatically wrong. We follow a paradigm because we are comfortable with that paradigm. Because our basic instincts and interests support that paradigm 

Human basic instincts are geared towards creating a foundation of love trust, loyalty, commitment, sacrifices, sharing, mutual need and companionship. 

There is nothing foolish or outdated or indoctrinated about it. 

 

Codependency is a spectrum, your view of it is from the right "unhealthier" position. where your views on what a "healthy" relationship looks like is more left on a "healthier" position, both sides of the spectrum are dependency, the entire spectrum no longer applies from higher paradigms.  From stage green and lower all relationships are built on dependency/survival needs. 

Just because something is common does not make it sensible. "Normal" relationships that the masses pursue are unhealthy at its foundation but very useful for survival in there life conditions. The relationship that your advocating is healthiness relatively. 

There is a conflation of relationships and human instinct. They are not bound to each other. Relationships are contracts of human design. Do not put energy finding reasons why your world views are correct, instead take a step back and view them from a larger lens. 

Monogamy =  "If you dont behave exactly how i want, i will suffer", this is foolish, outdated and indoctrinated into you by culture. 

Everything that your advocating is tooling to force relationships to work with a broken foundation. Fix the foundation and you wont need the tooling. 

 

Edited June 28, 2020 by integral

[Roy]

18 minutes ago, integral said:

Everything that your advocating is tooling to force relationships to work with a broken foundation. Fix the foundation and you wont need the tooling. 

What's your angle exactly? Not everybody is a turquoise sage mate. Do you want people to forgo relationships for years and years until they have the meta perspective to lay that foundation?

Life is too short. The overwhelming majority of people get into relationships having not yet done even the most primary developmental work prior. We need to do our best to offer the advice and tools to help them repair what leaks are there or at the very least make them ready so the next relationship is healthier.

Do you see the absurdity of your expectation yet? Yes "culture" has a lot of dysfunctions and flaws in it, and thereby the people do as well. Well, we all live in it for now, so get over it!

[integral]

@Roy Its not that hard, being exposed to the most conscious perspective/solution is necessary. Gurus dont help people navigate there circumstances, they show them that there circumstances are ridiculous. 

Edited June 28, 2020 by integral

[Preety_India]

@integral  why do you decide that it's the most conscious 

 Everything cannot be based in "letting go survival" 

Where did you get this idea that survival is bad. This is some bullshit spiritual bypassing. 

Survival is absolutely essential. So survival paradigm cannot be considered wrong or bad. 

Go meta only when you need to go meta. It's fine. You realize that all stages of spiral dynamics are equally important or are you just stuck at stage Turquoise. Don't live in utopia 

Stage Green is important and so is stage Blue and Stage Orange. 

The idea here is it to integrate benefit and healthy attitude at each stage of the spiral. 

So don't look down upon other stages for their need to survive. 

You need to transcend the need to be stuck at stage Turquoise philosophy. 

Some things are dictated by human instinct for a good reason. 

When you see a person cheating on you, you get mad for a reason. Your emotions are built that way for a reason. You naturally feel those emotions because your feelings are real and they mean something. 

The biggest stupidity is to go against your own intuition and feelings. 

You cannot really decide what the most conscious thing really is. For different people the word conscious means different things. 

Your mentality might serve you better but don't expect people to fit into it when they don't feel comfort in it 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

59 minutes ago, integral said:

A mature relationship understands the impermanence of the relationship, the individuals do not want or need anything from each other. The relationship is dissolved, there is only  2 people enjoying the time they have together with 0 expectations

In real life this will never happen. You're being impractical. 

Such relationships are the rarest. Good luck with that attitude. In reality it doesn't work because people focus more on needs. You can't take that away from them

 

 

[integral]

@Preety_India Have you tried it? Just act until you make it, its always been a play. 

Cheating is part of the paradigm, the idea exist because monogamy does not truly reflect human needs. Our instincts are to sexually engage and love multiple people simultaneously. Relationships contracts are a reflection of fear, not love. 

We are on actualized.org forums, we are here to grow, the advice given on relationship is great and valuable to survive, but why stop there when we can escape the game entirely? 

I agree that different stages have different needs, they all have there purpose, but they are good relatively, the higher stage is better if possible. We need to help people grow not survive. 

Both our methods are valid here.

1) giving people the tools they need at the stage there at, to be healthy at the stage there at.

2) introduce them to the next stage, a bigger picture.

They are both needed. 

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, integral said:

Our instincts are to sexually engage and love multiple people simultaneously.

Only you are saying this. 

Not everyone likes it and that's fine. 

 

 

 

[Shadowraix]

3 hours ago, integral said:

but why stop there when we can escape the game entirely? 

Why step out of a game thats meant to be played? 

[integral]

@Preety_India Our needs dont, but our instincts want to have sex with every good looking man/women we see, of course we would not pursue it because its impractical in this altitude. We are also compatible with millions of people at any given time, we then pick one organically and block out the rest. Why not have a free relationship instead that takes all of this into consideration?

31 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

Why step out of a game thats meant to be played? 

lololol makes sense. He was suffering, being able to step out side the game, take breather can help, also helps to understand the mechanics of the game hes playing instead of being beaten up by the rules. Games are ment to be fun. 

Edited June 29, 2020 by integral

[Roy]

3 hours ago, integral said:

Our instincts are to sexually engage and love multiple people simultaneously. Relationships contracts are a reflection of fear, not love. 

Ahh so I was somewhat right making a Red-Pill reference about you 

Relationship contracts are a reflection of fear, not love?

Maybe for you, if you feel that way.