Covid19 - Keep working or get a degree?

[DawnOfReality]

Hi there!

I'm dealing with a dilemma during these tough days and I would love to get some external insights, as far as possible, to help me better evaluate the situation. 

First off, I am currently dealing with university (bachelors in Physics) burnout recovery and pretty strong chronic anxiety, mostly due to perfectionism. I am tackling it with the help of a therapist and by doing spiritual work on myself and things are slowly but surely getting better.

That being said, on the point now. I am currently smart-working as an IT conselour intern for a multinational company, with a pretty decent salary (being an internship). Also the growth opportunity is pretty great. Problem is: I don't really enjoy the job that much, and feels pretty much wasted time. But the pay is great and the job isn't that demanding which allows me to possibly have plenty of time to do side-stuff, as well as to recover from my psychological instability (no rushes, no highly stressing situations which would take me back to my previous neurotic state of mind). 

But I am also pondering the possibility to obtain a M.Sc degree with the intention to enter a research position somewhere, since I would like to find and create something new and meaningful rather than just working for money on by doing maintanance and support for IT systems. I still don't know what to do though, in what direction to pursue my Master degree and this research for the perfect path was one of the motives for my psychological breakdown which I am now beginning to overcome. 
At this stage, I am a candidate for the most important business school in my country and I am very likely to pass the tests and enroll in the course of Data Science. It felt interesting when I started the process of enrollment, although after my job experience my views changed a bit and now it is not as appeling as it was before. I was never sure about this path though, as I was with none anyway. I miss the idea of being able to do research and innovation rather that merely a highly classified and paid job as it would be for a data scientist (still, I am wondering if it's not just my perfectionism in action and maybe I should just take this opportunity which surely mustn't be taken for granted). 

 

My dilemma is: with all this coronavirus crisis during which many are losing their jobs, having a job as I do seems to be such a great opportunity in itself, even a blessing. Materialistically, money made now would be worth much more than if this virus didn't show up, since my salary isn't gonna change at all and I am able to "relax" (realtively speaking to my uni experience which was a non-stop trying to be the best and super productive kind of life) and save some money for another year. 

BUT I don't really enjoy the job. It kinda feels like a wasted year at a more personal level. At the same time, I haven't found what I would like to do with my life yet. Possibly, with the work I am doing with my therapist I could get some more insights during this time, also by removing ego layers which are the source of most of my decisions (or indecisions?). But I feel the pressure of "losing" another year. It seems like I am in hurry to get somewhere. Wouldn't I be late to get a Master? I am 23 currently. it would mean to start a M.Sc at 24. But would it be worth it to just choose some "random" university career because I just feel the pressure of time rather than letting my real self take the decision when it will be the right time, and enjoy my decision? Or, as said above, am I just doubting myself?

 

What do you guys think? With these dark times, would you keep the job, keeping in mind how valuable it might be on a material standpoint, or would you go further your education, in spite of some indecisiveness? 
How will jobs and students/graduates be influenced by the approaching crisis? Adaptability seems to be of the utmost importance now, more than ever.

Thank you, much love 

 

[Space]

@DawnOfReality What do you actually want? Like actually. When you sit down and ask yourself, what do I just really wanna do, what is the answer? Its very important that you get clear on this. This will then give you a much clearer path forward. I'm not saying you need to set out and get clear on the whole of your life. This is more short term, 3-5 years. What do you want in the next 5 years? 

[Galyna]

14 hours ago, DawnOfReality said:

But I am also pondering the possibility to obtain a M.Sc degree

I feel you. In fact, this week I was talking to my graduate advisor pretty much about the same thing. I hit the wall. I have been in college since 2003. I graduated with my first bachelor's in 2009, then started in 2012 with my second bachelors, graduating this summer, took so much time because I was working full time and only took two classes per semester. I can not even think about my master's but I have already made up my mind that I want to be that 8% of people in the USA who hold MS. Also I have a dilemma as well. I have been dreaming to take this micro masters in MIT in SCM with transfer path. I really do not know what to do. To stay in my university, ( I have already been accepted for MS program in Supply Chain) or to risk and try myself. However, I hate statistics with all my heart and this is the only thing that keeps me from my dream. 

Here is what I think, I do not know about you. But my MS in SCM will help me a lot even!!! if I want to live and work in Europe. Who knows what will happen here in US in ten years or so, we have to be open for all kind of opportunities. I would say go for it. It is only 2-3 years and you will be golden. I would keep that job and would do a master program. 

Think about it, only 8% of people in US hold masters. It will open the doors for you on the job market. In supply chain people go for masters for senior positions. It is never too late. But better to take care of it now. Later on in life you will have family and kids and it will be harder for you. 

Working full time and studying is hard, but a lot of people do it. Maybe do not take a lot of credits and do it in a slower pace.

Good luck!

 

 

Edited June 26, 2020 by Galyna

[Onemanwolfpac]

Dude, the economy shit the bed. The economy was turned off due to the flu and in a election cycle (conveniently). The path forward is uncertainty. It is irrelevant to be done since nobody is hiring. Maybe police lololol. 

Child like curiosity is the key. Mine has twinkled in pandemic. I have my purpose going forward. 

[DawnOfReality]

@Space This is from where my questions stems, essentially. I still don't know what I want for sure and... that is why I am really indecisive about going on with my studies right away, because I don't know to what commit myself to just yet. I am sure knowing that would help giving me a direction. Just one note: I tried to look for my life purpose but it didn't work out quite yet. I find much more peace thinking that there isn't a predetermined purpose for me that I must uncover in some way, more like go with the flow and adjust, following and applying some gentle force towards the direction that feels right in that moment. Those adjustments become my choices now, which I am unsure. Hence I was trying to look at the situation as objectively as possible.

 

@Galyna In my opinion, if you think that getting that M.Sc is what you want, if you clearly feel it, then go for it no matter what. This is what your true self wants, when you clearly feel something. Statistics should not hold you back. Learn it annd enjoy it as much as possible. If things get tough so much that you can't bare it anymore just swallow it, it will be stressful but getting there is what you really want and you must pass through some things that you don't completely like, or even hate. 
The only thing I disagree with is that thing of being golden after the M.Sc. In my experience, I can clearly tell that this kind of thinking is really... egoic and a delusion. You can be golden now, at this right moment, too. In fact, you are. I tend to stay away from that type of thoughts, because it usually happens that I get to my ego-goal, and then I set myself out to pursue another one, and another one, and another one. Never really enjoying getting to it.... Which means most of my time is lost, just thinking of the goal and doing the process whilst lost in thought. 

Anyway, I might generalise here. Maybe not your case! But yes, do it! When you know it, it's way simpler I find. It's when you don't know it that things are unclear and you kinda feel lost.

 

@Onemanwolfpac The reason I am pondering the possibility to keep on working for a while is due to that specifically. Nobody is hiring. 
Seems valuable to have a job. 
Regarding curiosity, sure, I am curious and have lots of interests, but I am struggling to choose clearly at this point in time. ANd sadly I had no twinkling of my purpose yet. I was involved in this sort of fake personality during my years that now I have to re-discover what I truly love, and what I actually don't enjoy that much after all, and forced myself to.

[Space]

@DawnOfReality I feel you man, I spent a long time not knowing what I wanted. A few things i'll say - how much time have you spent sitting down and journalling or at the very least intentionally thinking about what you want? I found journaling to be very helpful. Try just sitting down, setting a timer for 20 minutes and write the question 'what do I actually want'. It's important to give this adequate time because usually the first things that you write down are surface level stuff. There's a real benefit of writing these things down rather than just thinking about it.

When I say figure out what you want I don't mean figure out some grand life purpose. It could be as simple as 'I want to be financially independent', or 'I want to be earning x amount of money in 2 years', or 'I want to work from home and not in an office', or 'I want to have adequate time outside of work to focus on other skills and interests'. Then based on those things this will help you make the practical decisions that need to be made.

One way of coming to know what you want is to write down all the things you really don't want. What do you not want to be the case in 1 or 3 years time etc?

Yes I agree with you on your point about trying to look for your life purpose. It's not something that is found, but rather designed and created based on a combination of what you want out of life, your interests, your experiences, talents, skills etc. 

[DawnOfReality]

@Space Thank you for your insights. 

Well, I've been into that for a while, at least 2 years. Been journaling, thinking and... It became a neurosis. Because I could not figure it out. Like if there was something to figure out. I ws trying to find the perfect path, being a perfectionist, and didn't come to any real conclusion by that. Surely writing has helped me with lots of things, so it is not in the method, rather in my mindset going into it. Ego-driven, wanting a path that would allow me results and achievements and freedom and deep satisfaction. 

I am kind of recovering now from that and I tend to be very alert not to fall in the same pit. 

What I found by working a 9-5 job now is that in the end I'd like to work on something more exciting like research, that is, working on something new.
That's why I have the choice to keep my studies going. 

The question is: in what field? THat I don't know. I have too many interest and kinda feel stuck with deciding one and having to give up others. 
And as far as my initial question is concerned, given that I'm still not sure of what to pursue academically, and given the pandemic situation, what would be better for the next year to do?

Anyway, I'll try journaling a bit more on it following your advice. I haven't tried writing what I don't want. Although seems overwhelming as a task: there are many things we don't want, far more than we probably do

Just being curious: have you found what you want in the end?

 

UPDATE: I got accepted by the university. Now I will have to make my decision! Holy crap, sounds heavy to do D:

Edited July 3, 2020 by DawnOfReality