My life is decided by the opinion of others.

[Javfly33]

 

When I make an important decision in my life (career) my first thoughts are not about the consecuences to my life about this decision, but rather the opinion/acceptance of others about this decision. I can see if I don't solve this, life won't get better anytime soon. 

I know psychedelics could help me face the this fears but ironically I've been avoiding for a lot of time precisely because I always have thoughts of "what if I lose control during the trip and I start calling people or whatever withouth inhibition". Ironically this is exactly what needs to happen in order to trascend this fear. This is exactly what I REALLY want to do. But the ego is terrified of this. The ego wants to control the damaged/hurt identity he believes itself to be. 

This kind of thoughts (of losing control and maybe call a family member and be totally me with them) makes me always postpone the trips. 

Of course I know is precisely this fear that I have to surrender in order to liberate myself from the fear of the opinion of others.

This has been the root of all "stories" of my life. The root of 99% suffering of my life has been this "disorder". I guess Spirituality is called a "samsara" or karma from past lives. EVERYTHING has been ruled by this in my life.

I am sure this is the major roadblock, withouth a doubt, in my path towards Enlightement. There's no way I get Enlightened before surrendering and trascending this fear/ego identity story. And it seems like hiking a monstrous mountain and the ego won't let go.

Edited June 24, 2020 by Javfly33

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

 

When I make an important decision in my life (career) my first thoughts are not about the consecuences to my life about this decision, but rather the opinion/acceptance of others about this decision. I can see if I don't solve this, life won't get better anytime soon. 
 

As you noted, part of the path is recognizing “my first thoughts“. 
 

They don’t feel good because they are of an old paradigm which is playing itself out of the mind. Untangling. Right there in the very same knowing of those thoughts, is the love, passion and desire of which they aren’t resonating, and the presence of peace in letting the thoughts go. The knowing, love and peace are always present. 
 

Listen to that love, know that first. Then maybe some thoughts. I know it sounds silly, but in the same sense that you are knowing your foot, and all the shoes just come and go. Notice, recognize, feeling...and thoughts come and go.  
 

Quote

I know psychedelics could help me face the this fears but ironically I've been avoiding for a lot of time precisely because I always have thoughts of "what if I lose control during the trip and I start calling people or whatever withouth inhibition". Ironically this is exactly what needs to happen in order to trascend this fear. This is exactly what I REALLY want to do. But the ego is terrified of this. The ego wants to control the damaged/hurt identity he believes itself to be. 
 

The ego is also believing other people need to be involved in this. They don’t. Write letters to people, without any expectation of mailing them. Empty both barrels so to speak. Empty everything that you wanna say. 

 

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This kind of thoughts (of losing control and maybe call a family member and be totally me with them) makes me always postpone the trips. 

Of course I know is precisely this fear that I have to surrender in order to liberate myself from the fear of the opinion of others.

The problem is not about the opinions of others, it’s attachment to your thoughts, about the opinions of others. Notice others are not preventing you from taking your trip, only thoughts. Proper daily morning meditation of 40 minutes, and expressive writing completely changes this. When you do trip, the benefit of this is like an innate effortless superpower, as it is for life as well. You could “power through it “on a trip, but I don’t recommend it. Better to ‘do the work’ and let the trip be what it may. They tend to be rewarding in a beautiful sense. 

 

Quote

This has been the root of all "stories" of my life. The root of 99% suffering of my life has been this "disorder". I guess Spirituality is called a "samsara" or karma from past lives. EVERYTHING has been ruled by this in my life.

I am sure this is the major roadblock, withouth a doubt, in my path towards Enlightement. There's no way I get Enlightened before surrendering and trascending this fear/ego identity story. And it seems like hiking a monstrous mountain and the ego won't let go.

Thought attachment is the norm, the order. There’s no ego, no fear, and no mountain. There is literally one thought at a time, about those “things”, and the ability to relax the body and breathe from the stomach. That’s it. That’s the whole show. One thought at a time. Don’t nestle up to those “first thoughts”. Take the wheel, switch to “how do I want to feel?” “if they’re thinkin and choosin for me...then who’s thinkin and choosin for them?” 

At the end of the day, each one is only doing the feelin for one. Stop playing the game that’s not true. The very first step is recognizing you forgot you’re fucking awesome. 
??????

[Javfly33]

@Nahm Thanks man I took a small trip today and heart again felt amazing ✨ it's all good. Remembering I live in the present and not in thoughts ??

[Javfly33]

@Nahm By the way, the work you do in this forum helping others its so fucking awesome. Keep being awesome please.(even though I know you can't help yourself ??

[Nahm]

@Javfly33

?????

[kag101]

Have you seen Leo's video on this topic? 

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, kag101 said:

Have you seen Leo's video on this topic? 

@kag101 Which one?

[kag101]

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

@kag101 Which one?

how to stop caring about the opinoin of others