My reality and sense of self is falling apart without doing much and I'm freaking out

[VeganAwake]

Check out 48:20

 

[Nahm]

@Johnny5

Likewise, I don’t know what is meant there. 

[Nahm]

@Johnny5 ? (hugs)

[Nahm]

@Johnny5

[An young being]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

@Johnny5 ? (hugs)

 

1 hour ago, Johnny5 said:

HUGS  

(if you had told me this day would come even only yesterday I would have laughed in your face lol)

 

Yuuuuuck! Sappyyyyy   I'm so happy sappy!!!

Is hugging through words and by actual hugging action all one and the same ? After all it's just an illusion, as long as what you perceive in your mind ( the feeling of hugging ) , it should be the same ! ( Wth, I am asking and also answering the question , who cares, it's all the same if you answer the question or if I answer it )

[Display_Name]

On 6/24/2020 at 9:02 PM, lmfao said:

Yet there's this world around me. These ideas, people around me, ideas that anything exists at all, ideas of and thinking about events. Causality, human drama and theatre that I get absorbed in. And all of this is falling before my eyes? It's not real? Everyone here talks about how it's not real, it's all imaginary, but have you actually felt it? Do you know what that actually means? This is no joke. This is serious. 

yeah. wakey wakey.

let go, the rocket ship has launched, you're just some - inherently utterly empty - thought sensations trying to persist. 

it's serious, and yet at the same time, it isn't.

let what you really are empty you out and life will be a million times better.

not like there's really you making a choice anymore (or ever) anyway. have you noticed that?

Edited June 26, 2020 by Display_Name

[Mu_]

@lmfao Would you say up until this point, you may of "thought" you knew what "nothing but now, you are god, everything is a dream, everything is imaginary." really was pointing to, but after this happening your going through you realize you had no idea and that perhaps it was just all intellectual so to say?

Give it some time, don't making any rash distinctions or conclusions or choices.  There's still a lot of idea's it seems around this period and what your seeing that is in flux and you don't want to get into a place where you think you now know what it is.  Lots of people get frightened in this phase and get stuck in a frame of seeing that believes its negatively empty and meaningless, just let these thoughts be or pass, there's more to the picture so to say....

 

 

[Nahm]

lol. All hugs are imaginary anyways. Not so much the love though. But the hugs are none other than the love.

?⭕️?

[meow_meow]

Just now, Display_Name said:

not like there's really you making a choice anymore (or ever) anyway. have you noticed that?

This on top of what OP was/is experiencing now will really freak OP out even more once he/she really, really realizes it. It came to me almost the same time when I had the same experience. And to be honest, this is one of the hardest 'facts' to swallow and live with for me.

Edited June 26, 2020 by meow_meow

[mandyjw]

20 hours ago, lmfao said:

@Nahm I can't easily articulate it, but for some reason I viscerally dislike you. I think you put out signals which remind me of signals I've seen from people in the past who are fake. That is to say, some sort of mechanical response is triggered. 

I get pissed off you don't validate my ego and criticise it. But then you always validate and embrace cheesy declarations of love, whether sincere or superficial, no questions asked. When false positivity and false virtue is rampant everywhere in the mainstream, you appear like another perpetrator of it. So I assume you're a hypocritical advocate of sunshine and rainbows. 

Now the dislike is mostly gone after airing out my mind, and what remains are contradictory feelings of calm and anxiety. The anxiety likely being an overactive fight or flight response. 

Sometimes us truth seekers hold out for profundity. At some point we have to ask ourselves if we actually wanted the truth or if we assumed that the truth would also have to be profound. I don't know why we put that qualification on truth but we often do. I think it's because profound also implies importance. The truth must be profound and important. But this is a belief, an unconscious assumption.

What is important? What is it that wants things to be important? Of course it's the thing that thinks of itself as important. Important implies that something can be gained or lost, something is at stake. It implies that there are things that are important and things that are unimportant. It implies duality. 

So it may not be that positivity, love, unicorns and rainbows are fake or false. It may be that they just don't seem important enough to what we think of as us. 

Profound stories like Moby Dick, etc, have lots of drama, there is a lot at stake. Profundity is something we deeply long to experience in life. But it only exists within the story, the profundity of Moby Dick only is there for the drama and enjoyment of the story. You as the reader were never in danger. The story was so well written you forgot that you weren't in danger. Nothing is lost when it's realized that it's a story again, the story is still profound. See how you can have your cake and eat it too? 

Have you ever laughed so hard at something that you started crying and this sort of profound hilarity took you over? Sometimes the duality between what is profound and what is funny, dies within us. It's no joke, but it is still funny.  

[lmfao]

@Display_Name Yes. wakey wakey. 

@Mu_ Yeah you're right dude. It's so hard to not go mad or jump to conclusions. Verbal sorts of inquiry are useful for me but they end up at me reaching what I think is an impass and I panic a bit. But then I stay with it and realise that what I previously framed was false. 

@mandyjw "It may be that they just don't seem important enough to what we think of as us." Right. 

@Johnny5 I don't have much to really say. I said what was on my mind.  Humans are flawed. Opinions are egoic. Part of maturity is to be unashamedly egoic at times. 

If I wanted to create a separation between my ego and my true self, I'd write everything in quotation marks so as to denote distance between the two. But that's a childish game if taken to extreme. 

 

 

 

Edited June 27, 2020 by lmfao

[Synchronicity]

The way people speak can be an indicator of how much they’re immersed in a realization but not always. Some people just speak conventionally even though their language doesn’t reflect what they’ve realized or how they feel