Mindset: Is It Okay To Not Bother What Anyone Is Saying/implying?

[cloudpusher]

I noticed recently that I can easily get upset when someones ego is showing off. For example a fellow colleague figured out a solution and wants everyone to appreciate him and accept that his solution is the one and only and anything else is wrong. 

Is it suitable if I just quickly agree and go along instead of revealing his faults in the matter? 

Or in another example, a person seems (!) to be disapproving of me as he doesn't know me and generally is suspicious about new people. This tends to bother me.

Is it suitable if I just brush such and similar situations off and ignore it? Or should I act in such situations to stop show offs or "proving" myself to the person who seems to disapprove?

I seem to have discovered a rabbit hole here, as these patterns seem to repeat and create friction. 

[Ape]

Personally I think just accepting their Point of View unless it has a negative impact for your life or you're asked about your opinion would be the right action, but this is purely subjective.

Edited July 23, 2016 by Ape

[Ayla]

@cloudpusher , look into Byron Katie's "Work" - youtube. 

[Mal]

@cloudpusher

Stop caring. Look at all this mind games you are buying into. 

One day you will have had enough of it, your side and theirs, and will start to seriously consider if any of this is worth it.

It's not.

[charlie2dogs]

3 hours ago, cloudpusher said:

I noticed recently that I can easily get upset when someones ego is showing off. For example a fellow colleague figured out a solution and wants everyone to appreciate him and accept that his solution is the one and only and anything else is wrong. 

Is it suitable if I just quickly agree and go along instead of revealing his faults in the matter? 

Or in another example, a person seems (!) to be disapproving of me as he doesn't know me and generally is suspicious about new people. This tends to bother me.

Is it suitable if I just brush such and similar situations off and ignore it? Or should I act in such situations to stop show offs or "proving" myself to the person who seems to disapprove?

I seem to have discovered a rabbit hole here, as these patterns seem to repeat and create friction. 

fix your own life and let others fix their own, its not your job, sounds like you want to impose your ego over someone else's

[cloudpusher]

3 hours ago, Ayla said:

@cloudpusher , look into Byron Katie's "Work" - youtube. 

Thanks, I know Byron Katie very well and it is easy for me to let such things go. The question was if it is the right thing to have this mindset of not getting involved into any such discussions or "mini-confrontations" by default and just overlooking it and moving on happily.

Currently it somehow feels wrong to not confront someone in such a situation, but on the other hand it also causes friction in those relationships. So, something does need to change on my side. I take full responsibility.

[cloudpusher]

2 hours ago, Mal said:

@cloudpusher

Stop caring. Look at all this mind games you are buying into. 

One day you will have had enough of it, your side and theirs, and will start to seriously consider if any of this is worth it.

It's not.

Thanks, that's what I'm interested. What kind of mind games am I falling for here?

I'm not sure if this will happen one day by itself, but I realise the issue currently so I try to investigate. 

[Mal]

28 minutes ago, cloudpusher said:

Thanks, that's what I'm interested. What kind of mind games am I falling for here?

I'm not sure if this will happen one day by itself, but I realise the issue currently so I try to investigate. 

Here is the cosmic mindgame in a nutshell.

Imagine there is only 2 people on Earth (for the sake of simplicity)

They are both angry because they are both looking for love in the other where there is no love. No security. No understanding. Just a constant game of trying to change each other because both are too immature to see that the other is deficient and looking for love outside themselves.

Consider that for a while. This is what's going on here, despite what were taught to believe.

[Mal]

35 minutes ago, cloudpusher said:

Thanks, that's what I'm interested. What kind of mind games am I falling for here?

I'm not sure if this will happen one day by itself, but I realise the issue currently so I try to investigate. 

I'm not saying I'm not deficient either. I am. I'm no better than anybody else. This is just a realization I recently had by observing what's going on as I question my long held beliefs.

 

[Ayla]

2 hours ago, cloudpusher said:

The question was if it is the right thing to have this mindset of not getting involved into any such discussions or "mini-confrontations" by default and just overlooking it and moving on happily.

From my own "work" (BK) I understood that these confrontations are just inside and within myself. They are only reflections of tensions inside of me. 

These are some posts that might help: 

 

Last piece of advice: your own inner being will keep tugging at you in the right direction, for example: if you do engage, it will tell you afterwards that it felt wrong. No matter what Mind will say, you will keep receiving a feeling that is the accurate message. You just need to keep quiet enough so you can hear it. Think of Mind as a loud 5 years old boy. Inner being is like the breath of a new-born. If the 5 y/o isn't silent, you're never going to be able to hear if and how baby's breath functions

 

[Mal]

@cloudpusher

I wouldn't put too much belief into all these techniques. Test them for yourself, test the person giving you these techniques. You will soon discover how well these techniques have worked for them.  

You can watch 100 hour long Mooji videos and only have internalised the concept. Nothing will have changed, even after a year of "work" if you press a button and they react they are kidding themselves that they have dissolved the ego. 

Test reality, don't just buy into the next method for "healing". 

 

Edited July 23, 2016 by Mal

[cloudpusher]

@Ayla Thank you very much! I started to process your input.

 

@Mal

22 hours ago, Mal said:

@cloudpusher

I wouldn't put too much belief into all these techniques. Test them for yourself, test the person giving you these techniques. You will soon discover how well these techniques have worked for them.  

You can watch 100 hour long Mooji videos and only have internalised the concept. Nothing will have changed, even after a year of "work" if you press a button and they react they are kidding themselves that they have dissolved the ego. 

Test reality, don't just buy into the next method for "healing". 

 

Not quite sure what you mean. Do you have an opinion about any of the mentioned techniques in this thread?