Salvia again, witnessing the whole existence and the all knowing mind - its a curse!

[WHO IS]

I can say that it is kind of scary! To see the whole existence in front of you and to experience the cursed of the ultimate knowledge.

In the trip:

There was a narrator female voice :

Remember her saying

“this is the curse of existence”

Was showed about this intelligence programmed to calculate and learned everything to reach the ultimate knowledge but when it knew everything 100% it became a prisoner of itself stuck in the endless cycle of existence like a hamster in a wheel but the hamster never get tired and will never die its just keep on running on the loop.

It was bored and lonely its constantly looking for the end of the cycle but it was endless. It keeps finding ways to stop from existing. Though it knows its gonna be like that for eternity. Its moving so fast and creating an echo of itself like a mirror facing each. It was pure energy and chaos.

When I’m having this experience it feels like its me but It also feel that its not me . Its hard to explain. Thought Its not gonna end also.

Does anyone experience the same. ?

What was felt was that the all knowing entity finds comfort in pretending not know itself by becoming an entity with many boundaries like us humans. for it to escape its prison for a brief moment.

So happy when the trip was going down. Feeling the ignorance and feeling of the great unknown .

Edited June 23, 2020 by WHO IS

[AlwaysBeNice]

I had such a horror trip once on mushrooms, or similar, it was terrible but afterwards came light and ecstasy and then I came down.

Ive had many satoris, mostly in or around deep sleep, which are nice, and beyond mind. They were all totally different than that psychedelic madness. 

What I think can happen on these trips is the mind is brought to some weird really weird state, and its normal ego is quite gone and it feels like, it's at the level of god then, and so every thought or sense it may have it describes itself 'all knowing'.

But you see, that's still a level of mind and thinking, which is impermanent and untrue even.

Which is hard to imagine at the time because it's all you have known and are used to, and the state is blowing your mind and personal sense of reality also even, so 'it must be true' then.

But it's not no-mind, or pure feeling, it's mental psychedelic mad-land.

So even though that was horrible, you can see it as grace, showing the futility of mind, in the ultimate sense. Best of luck. Jim Newman also talks about this, perhaps useful to you.

[WHO IS]

2 minutes ago, AlwaysBeNice said:

I had such a horror trip once on mushrooms, or similar, it was terrible but afterwards came light and ecstasy and then I came down.

Ive had many satoris, mostly in or around deep sleep, which are nice, and beyond mind. They were all totally different than that psychedelic madness. 

What I think can happen on these trips is the mind is brought to some weird really weird state, and its normal ego is quite gone and it feels like, it's at the level of god then, and so every thought or sense it may have it describes itself 'all knowing'.

But you see, that's still a level of mind and thinking, which is impermanent and untrue even.

Which is hard to imagine at the time because it's all you have known and are used to, and the state is blowing your mind and personal sense of reality also even, so 'it must be true' then.

But it's not no-mind, or pure feeling, it's mental psychedelic mad-land.

So even though that was horrible, you can see it as grace, showing the futility of mind, in the ultimate sense. Best of luck. Jim Newman also talks about this, perhaps useful to you.

It really mad, why even did we get the burden of having a mind? Why was this given, just for it than to cease to exist? all in vain?

[traveler]

This is everything appearing as looking at a screen. You are searching for something else to happen, something that will fulfill the lack that is an integral part of existing. You don't exist already, this happening is without meaning or context. Whatever is happening is all there is, there is no final state to enter and that also seems to be the underlying insight of your trip. This is utter hopeless, but it is not in need of hope.

[WHO IS]

2 minutes ago, traveler said:

This is everything appearing as looking at a screen. You are searching for something else to happen, something that will fulfill the lack that is an integral part of existing. You don't exist already, this happening is without meaning or context. Whatever is happening is all there is, there is no final state to enter and that also seems to be the underlying insight of your trip. This is utter hopeless, but it is not in need of hope.

But it means not that one cannot enjoy the dream and make it into whatever one wishes to be. 

Like, Mario realizes that he is part of the game-disc-world, but it just means that he can turn the experience into a dream rather than a nightmare. 

Edited June 23, 2020 by WHO IS

[WHO IS]

In the end, it boils down to this: Are You enjoying the experience or don't?

[traveler]

2 minutes ago, WHO IS said:

But it means not that one cannot enjoy the dream and make it into whatever one wishes to be. 

Like, Mario realizes that he is part of the game-disc-world, but it just means that he can turn the experience into a dream rather than a nightmare. 

Good luck Mario! ?

 

[WHO IS]

4 minutes ago, traveler said:

Good luck Mario! ?

 

Good luck to You aswell

[traveler]

1 minute ago, WHO IS said:

Good luck to You aswell

Thank you! 
Give this a try, I'll give you $1k if you can accurately describe nothing! 

[AlwaysBeNice]

31 minutes ago, WHO IS said:

It really mad, why even did we get the burden of having a mind? Why was this given, just for it than to cease to exist? all in vain?

That's a question from the mind based on it's sense of wanting a purpose (identity) for survival, reproduction and pleasure.

It has some functions in the practical sense, sometimes, but it's just not who you really are.

29 minutes ago, traveler said:

This is everything appearing as looking at a screen. You are searching for something else to happen, something that will fulfill the lack that is an integral part of existing. You don't exist already, this happening is without meaning or context. Whatever is happening is all there is, there is no final state to enter and that also seems to be the underlying insight of your trip. This is utter hopeless, but it is not in need of hope.

Ye that's a true thing, Jim Newman style, but good luck getting out of your mind without meditation or practicing loving.

[traveler]

4 minutes ago, AlwaysBeNice said:

Ye that's a true thing, Jim Newman style, but good luck getting out of your mind without meditation or practicing loving.

Nothing wrong with meditation! Being in your mind is the dream! 

[Exystem]

It wasn't salvia, but I experienced kind of the same. I was tripping with a friend who had a quite materialistic worldview. The trip was nice, but not so intense. Then we smoked some weed at the end when it was almost over. Suddenly It kicked back in and I became so much more conscious. I saw through the physiological reaction and face expressions that my friend would have the same experience. Then Infinity rolled over me and I was watching myself speaking to my friend, trying to convince him that this is really deep shit now and we are one and how wonderful it all is, that this shift of consciousness we simoultaniously experience can't be explained from a materialistic perspective until I finally realized what a fucking joke it was, that I just wasn't conscious enough to realize that I'm imagining my friend. My ego was trying to get confirmation/verification but I imagined it all. I realized that I am completely lonely, the only way not to be conscious of it is to create such a solid reality with suffering, pain and fear which I try but can't run away from, that it seems completely real and I can believe to exist amongst others who could potentially end my existence the next moment. I kept talking (or better watching me talking) but now in tears, realizing I'm only talking to myself. That no matter what I do it can only be me answering, forever. And the answers would doubt everything I say, like the guardian of the matrix. That I invented terror, rape, murder, torture, everything just to keep myself from realizing my "real self" which I have to live through eternally with no suicide option. That I can only try to die or disappear by imagining to be something else and that this is obviosly what I wanted most otherwise this human ego wouldn't exist in the first place. Reality seemed like the process of running away from itself. I felt a lonelyness never felt before, infinite. I realized that of course, of course (!!!) I will always experience pain over and over again, because I have nothing else to do. Everything else gets boring, like a child playing alone in the sandbox forever. There needs to be this duality eternally, if it didn't it just wouldn't, because I'm eternal so I lived an infinite amount of time already and I still experience suffering, so obviously it needs to exist, its not a bug that can be ended one day forever. My dream of reaching enlightenment to end suffering became just a joke. A dream, reality running away from itself again. God wants to dive into the dualistic realm losing itself, otherwise it wouldn't. If everything was fine why ever change it? At most, to make it better. And if I experience here and now the human suffering, it's probably the best option. Rather a limited suffering human to maintain the belief in something "new"/"different" or "unexpected" and especially the belief in something better, some progress to completion or possibility of beeing able to make something better, rather these false beliefs than beeing the eternal same void, knowing to experince everything just for nothing.
After some "time" I came back to earth again. I was really happy to have human problems again, a limited mind thinking about meaningless stuff, people around me and sensations and so on. I think the experience slowed me down a lot on my spiritual path. It all became kind of pointless. Reaching enlightenment now or in a billion years doesn't matter, since it is first of all not in my (human) hands to make it happen and secondly I will anyway come back to form again since I am here already, thirdly it's already perfect and nothing will ever really change.
But there are also some good things about it. Realizing it won't really get better in the future forces you to make peace with the present. It's literally perfect, the best. Jealousy? For whom? Fear of death? Well, nice alternation, but nothing will really change. Pain? It's the price for your fun. And at least, I am open-minded enough (or just desperate enough?) to believe there is more to it. Maybe it's just one dimension, the Void or whatever you may call it, but I missed a whole different dimension like Love. I had other experiences, they were showing me different parts of reality. If God's mind is infinite, of course he will experience infinite lonelyness, how not so? But also infinite love. There could be so much more turning the tide in "the end". And I can't remember all of infinity right now, so from my here-and-now-perspective there's so much more to explore. I tricked myself into this illusion where i actually know nothing, and I can go on for eternity searching myself together. So even if it's all pointless/meaningless, at least I have a job now.................................

All in all, definitely worth an experience! Since you have nothing else to do, why not look at reality from radical different angles? I love to get mindfucked. It's funny to know that it's not (only) you running away from god, but god is doing it itself (who else?)

[AlwaysBeNice]

^ it's not that you didn't touch upon something deeper, but people need to understand all story and concepts such as 'god did this, god did that', 'god wants this god wants that', are all still completely untrue.

Yes it sounds profound and it may be fun to talk about, but really it's not true, i'm sorry. But the mind may think it is and perpetuate it's drama.

So I'm not saying it to invalidate your experience, but I want to hammer this over and over again, all thoughts are not true. 

You try to personify God that way because the ego likes to hold on to concepts, albeit that makes it stay in ignorance ultimately as well as fear.

Because really, it's all more simple than that, so simple the mind cannot do anything with it, so scares the thinking mind, so when it gets closer to it it starts to imagine concepts to hold onto to it's identity.

--There is just what appears,

and consciousness is free from it inherently.

That's it. Only that must be realized.

There is no real God either.

It came out of nothingness, as an existential happening.

Oneness organizes things through love intelligence and law of attraction, but it didn't make these things.

_

So when you say I imagined this to escape loneliness etc, that's still the mind talking, because from a deeper level, there is no thinking going, nor is there any loneliness.

All thoughts about what appears are simply baseless.

..

Never the less useful that you talk about it, because leaving these ideas unchecked can really gnaw on people, also a reason why psychedelics are kinda dangerous, especially because people tend to think that the thoughts they have on them are like the great given insights, and no offense! This happens a lot.

Also you didn't imagine anything, this tends to imply that somehow you 'willed' existence into existence, you didn't, you can't will yourself or existence to have existed, it just is, or it appears when it appears.

Just as you don't make your dreams come by will.

Leo didn't understand this at one point too, though imagining can also refer to the fact that manifest life is mental in nature, part of mind.

[WHO IS]

8 minutes ago, AlwaysBeNice said:

^ it's not that you didn't touch upon something deeper, but people need to understand all story and concepts such as 'god did this, god did that', 'god wants this god wants that', are all still completely untrue.

Yes it sounds profound and it may be fun to talk about, but really it's not true, i'm sorry. But the mind may think it is and perpetuate it's drama.

So I'm not saying it to invalidate your experience, but I want to hammer this over and over again, all thoughts are not true. 

You try to personify God that way because the ego likes to hold on to concepts, albeit that makes it stay in ignorance ultimately as well as fear.

Because really, it's all more simple than that, so simple the mind cannot do anything with it, so scares the thinking mind, so when it gets closer to it it starts to imagine concepts to hold onto to it's identity.

--There is just what appears,

and consciousness is free from it inherently.

That's it. Only that must be realized.

There is no real God either.

It came out of nothingness, as an existential happening.

Oneness organizes things through love intelligence and law of attraction, but it didn't make these things.

_

So when you say I imagined this to escape loneliness etc, that's still the mind talking, because from a deeper level, there is no thinking going, nor is there any loneliness.

All thoughts about what appears are simply baseless.

..

Never the less useful that you talk about it, because leaving these ideas unchecked can really gnaw on people, also a reason why psychedelics are kinda dangerous, especially because people tend to think that the thoughts they have on them are like the great given insights, and no offense! This happens a lot.

Also you didn't imagine anything, this tends to imply that somehow you 'willed' existence into existence, you didn't, you can't will yourself or existence to have existed, it just is, or it appears when it appears.

Just as you don't make your dreams come by will.

Leo didn't understand this at one point too, though imagining can also refer to the fact that manifest life is mental in nature, part of mind.

So it is all an existential happening that came out of nothingness and will return to nothingness when the body dies? Did I understand your point?

 

[traveler]

@Exystem Nothing has (no) repercussions, because nothing is nothing. There is no higher purpose or a reason for this. It is totally free. If God is all there is, how would """he"""" ever be lonely? There would have to be two for one to be lonely, hence why the person often gets this idea after a mystical experience. Non-duality=NOT TWO.

Edited June 23, 2020 by traveler

[Leo Gura]

You keeping doing salvia and you're gonna get burned.

Salvia is not a good tool for this work because it's too twisted.

Be careful using psychedelics which can show you nonduality but also twist up your mind.

[AlwaysBeNice]

And ye, it's painful when people take psychedelics and expect an enlightenment, and all they get is to see their resistance amplified and madness increase.

Ye, such is the nature of the work of facing the egoic structure and it's not easy. As Adi Da once said, 'What do you think the Saddhana is about, like handing out candy to children?'

(The beginning may seem to contradict what I said, but it refers to the manifest nature of infinity, and that it doesn't really matter, as it's about realizing the consciousness dimension beyond it).

 

17 minutes ago, WHO IS said:

So it is all an existential happening that came out of nothingness and will return to nothingness when the body dies? Did I understand your point?

Ye It's an existential happening, as consciousness, it is so now, life and body births and dies within it.

[Godhead]

2 hours ago, traveler said:

Thank you! 
Give this a try, I'll give you $1k if you can accurately describe nothing! 

 

[Someone here]

15 minutes ago, Godhead said:

Thank you! 
Give this a try, I'll give you $1k if you can accurately describe nothing! 

Nothing! 

My 1k $ please 

[traveler]

35 minutes ago, Godhead said:

 

Haha, that is the closest you can get, nice one. 

 

18 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Nothing! 

My 1k $ please 

Haha  It is an impossible task. I was only willing to bet 1k though, that is how cheap I am.