Moving out when you're 18?

[EternalForest]

For the top 20% of independent young adults, it might make sense, but for a lot of kids its just too soon, and it just baffles me how there's such a stigma around living at home. That's only an issue if you literally don't have any ambitions in life and just willingly want to sponge off others for your entire life, but I don't think most kids who are viewed as "Deadbeats sponging off Mommy and Daddy" are really like this.

I don't understand parents who kick their kids out at this age. It just seems really uncompassionate to me. Parents that do this, would you tell your children when they're 12 years old "If you're not out of the house in 6 years, you need to give Daddy $300 rent money or you're going to be on the street." No? Then why thrust it upon them out of the blue when they're 18? Why not work together to help them realize their life purpose, or at least help them find a job in the meantime instead of leaving them out on the street making it that much harder for them to actualize it? It seems like a heartless move, and the antithesis of what a good parent should do.

Edited June 23, 2020 by EternalForest

[fridjonk]

@EternalForest here in Iceland it's considered normal to live with your parents up to 25-30 years old. It allows people to more so figure out what they want to do with life at their own pace. 

[K VIL]

@EternalForest on the other side of this debate:

if your parents do it well, when they kick you out- it's not like you will be completely unprepared. independence is a great thing

yet feel no shame if you are 25 with your parents...its common, practical, and ok.  

[Raphael]

 

 

 

1

7 hours ago, EternalForest said:

I don't understand parents who kick their kids out at this age. It just seems really uncompassionate to me. Parents that do this, would you tell your children when they're 12 years old "If you're not out of the house in 6 years, you need to give Daddy $300 rent money or you're going to be on the street." No? Then why thrust it upon them out of the blue when they're 18? Why not work together to help them realize their life purpose, or at least help them find a job in the meantime instead of leaving them out on the street making it that much harder for them to actualize it? It seems like a heartless move, and the antithesis of what a good parent should do.

I agree with this, that's very uncompassionate. I don't understand parents who do this too, if I had a kid I'll prefer to help him get started in life rather than kicking him out.

 

 

 

 

7 hours ago, EternalForest said:

That's only an issue if you literally don't have any ambitions in life and just willingly want to sponge off others for your entire life, but I don't think most kids who are viewed as "Deadbeats sponging off Mommy and Daddy" are really like this.

Many kids don't have any purpose at this age. The problem that I see is that people who stay at home living with their parents after 18 - 20 grow less because they feel less responsibility. When someone gets out soon, he/she starts to take responsibility sooner for its life and start to have a sense of independence/individuality. Therefore the person will integrate stage orange faster and the lessons needed for survival, where the other ones will stay closer to stage blue or green and not understand properly the survival process.

I consider that people need to experience this sense of responsibility and individuality for at least 2-3 years to grow up the spiral then if they want too they can go back living with their family or living with other people.

At 18 I quitted my family house and my country, I went to live alone in a totally different country, and in an unknown city with zero contacts. My parents didn't kick me out because I made this choice and I don't regret it. I didn't know many things including how to cook, but I learned it on the path. I grew up a lot and didn't saw my family in 2-3 years, then got back home and I'm currently living with them.

Edited June 23, 2020 by Raphael

[Preety_India]

Yea moving out too early is a bad idea. 

Unless you're able to handle being an adult. 

For some people growth happens at a later stage. Everyone does not show the same growth at the same age. 

 

[Mason Riggle]

I guess my mom prepared me well.. she had 18 years to do it.  

Sink or swim. 

[TripleFly]

If you move out of your house, whether by your own will or not, you will become more independent, and you will mature as a person.

If your parents love you, they will ask or kick you out of their house, depending on your relationship. By the way, your relationship will also improve as your parents will be able to see you more as a grown up. This doesn't mean they will stop nagging you or treating you like a baby- please, she's your mom let her mother you at 32 years old, it makes her happy. 

 

But I am totally biased I moved out at 23roughly. And although I went back one time, I would never repeat that mistake. Life is much fuller on the otherside for me.