Drinking all night at a club was the most soul-cleansing experience I've ever had

[anxious_turtle]

I'm not sure if you guys will accept this story and I certainly don't promote such behavior, but I just have an itch to tell someone how I feel for a change.

Letting go was always something very hard for me. I am always tense and rigid, overthinking and anxious. I am neither comfortable alone, nor when around people.

When out with a group, I was always the quiet one who couldn't hold a conversation and wouldn't speak unless asked something. I have always been more inside my own head than anywhere else.

I have a mortal fear of beautiful girls and every time someone I liked showed an interest in me, I either ignored her or acted like a complete douche (and no, that doesn't make girls like you more). One very interesting thing I noticed is how very long it can take before a girl loses interest in a rigid, awkward ball of insecurities like me. These creatures are persistent, aren't they...

I was strictly against drinking and clubbing.

I've always thought that "such shallow and spiritually-empty activities are not for me".

Also me: binging on tons of porn, porn and more porn.

Such a cretin, I know.

At one point I realized in how much of a tangle I've gotten myself. I was tired, I just wanted to let go.

And so I grew curious - what would happen if I just went out there?

We sat to drink with some friends and I steadily began realizing how easy it actually is to let go. Easiest thing in the world, in fact.

Yet why wasn't I able to pull it off while sober?

Then we went to the club.

I danced.  For like, 4 hours.

Holy shit did that feel good! My whole life I've been a stiff stick. The only dance moves I knew were nervous gestures. When around people I always felt sort of paralyzed, uncomfortable inside my own body. But last night I lost myself into the loud music and the colorful lights. I surrendered completely. I was perfectly aligned with the present moment and allowed myself to be carried away by it.

I've never felt so free. I sensed my karma shedding. I learned from this experience and I will make my best to embody such carefree-ness to my day-to-day sober life.

I would never substitute such hedonism for an actual spiritual discipline, of course. I will certainly do it again, but I'll always perceive it as a stepping stone towards something deeper.

My message with all this, I guess, is: Have the courage to open your mind and try out things you've never even imagined yourself doing, but also be careful. And above all - let go.

Thank you for reading this random story. I appreciate all opinions and criticisms.

Love you all and good luck with everything!

[Javfly33]

Good for you that Alcohol works for you to loosen yourself up. Lots of people do it.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) alcohol never really worked for me to socialize, had to resource to harder drugs, which made it un-doable in the long run so I had to come up with a sober, solve-the-root of the problem plan. But for one time if it has let you see that you can let go, even that can be therapeutic.

Just try not to use it as a crotch. It will make you lose opportunities of working on yourself in the long run.

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

8 hours ago, anxious_turtle said:

One very interesting thing I noticed is how very long it can take before a girl loses interest in a rigid, awkward ball of insecurities like me. These creatures are persistent, aren't they...

Lol, WHAT? Man, wherever it is that you are living, I'm moving there.

Yeah, for stifled introverts such as ourselves, one night of mindless dancing in a club can be worth one year of psychotherapy IF you manage to get into the necessary state, which usually requires a) a goddamn miracle or b) gallons of alcohol. It is true that night clubs are the modern day churches; this is where people go nowadays to forget themselves and their petty worries/anxieties/inhibitions and to commune with the Holy Spirit, albeit in a rather unsophisticated way. Clubbing can be an immensely spiritual activity - until you reach the point (and you will reach this point FAST) where you did it a couple of times, the novelty wears off and it just becomes another habitual thing that you do on Saturday nights. I was lucky enough to recognize that point as soon as I reached it and consequently alter my course; may you also be so blessed, my brother. AAAMEN!

Edited June 21, 2020 by Bazooka Jesus

[StarStruck]

I had a similar experience the first time I went to a nightclub.

[hoodrow trillson]

A good night life is a lot deeper than most people see on the surface.  

[LfcCharlie4]

Awesome man, spirituality doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and go drinking with friends and let yourself go from time to time, enjoy it, I know I do! 

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, anxious_turtle said:

I'm not sure if you guys will accept this story and I certainly don't promote such behavior, but I just have an itch to tell someone how I feel for a change.

Letting go was always something very hard for me. I am always tense and rigid, overthinking and anxious. I am neither comfortable alone, nor when around people.

When out with a group, I was always the quiet one who couldn't hold a conversation and wouldn't speak unless asked something. I have always been more inside my own head than anywhere else.

I have a mortal fear of beautiful girls and every time someone I liked showed an interest in me, I either ignored her or acted like a complete douche (and no, that doesn't make girls like you more). One very interesting thing I noticed is how very long it can take before a girl loses interest in a rigid, awkward ball of insecurities like me. These creatures are persistent, aren't they...

I was strictly against drinking and clubbing.

I've always thought that "such shallow and spiritually-empty activities are not for me".

Also me: binging on tons of porn, porn and more porn.

Such a cretin, I know.

At one point I realized in how much of a tangle I've gotten myself. I was tired, I just wanted to let go.

And so I grew curious - what would happen if I just went out there?

We sat to drink with some friends and I steadily began realizing how easy it actually is to let go. Easiest thing in the world, in fact.

Yet why wasn't I able to pull it off while sober?

Then we went to the club.

I danced.  For like, 4 hours.

Holy shit did that feel good! My whole life I've been a stiff stick. The only dance moves I knew were nervous gestures. When around people I always felt sort of paralyzed, uncomfortable inside my own body. But last night I lost myself into the loud music and the colorful lights. I surrendered completely. I was perfectly aligned with the present moment and allowed myself to be carried away by it.

I've never felt so free. I sensed my karma shedding. I learned from this experience and I will make my best to embody such carefree-ness to my day-to-day sober life.

I would never substitute such hedonism for an actual spiritual discipline, of course. I will certainly do it again, but I'll always perceive it as a stepping stone towards something deeper.

My message with all this, I guess, is: Have the courage to open your mind and try out things you've never even imagined yourself doing, but also be careful. And above all - let go.

Thank you for reading this random story. I appreciate all opinions and criticisms.

Love you all and good luck with everything!

Congrats! You discovered why mankind invented alcohol.

Lol.

[Peo]

I really  want to do  the same only instead of a club, i would maybe try something more, something like to go to a rave one day.

[Raze]

9 hours ago, anxious_turtle said:

Love you all and good luck with everything!

That's good but you should be careful not to become dependent on alcohol to express yourself otherwise you could become an alcoholic. 

Edited June 21, 2020 by Raze

[Espaim]

10 hours ago, anxious_turtle said:

I appreciate all opinions and criticisms.

Try doing it sober

Maybe a little caffeine would be of help so you don't get tired

Edited June 21, 2020 by Espaim

[Lyubov]

Absolutely nothing wrong with this. I love melting into the flow of the night, having a great time and meeting a woman at the club, making out, that wonderful build up of anticipation then having sex later that night/morning and then sleeping it off then next day. Some of the most pleasure I've ever had. I wouldn't build my life around it though... it's just fine doing this occasionally  

Edited June 21, 2020 by Lyubov

[Hsinav]

@anxious_turtle Happy for you 

[Moon]

Amazing

Yes, occasionally even alcohol is a great tool and although I don't go out drinking much now I really love my memories and experiences of when I did go out more often

For me, not getting wasted but drinking a moderate amount turns me into the most social person in the room- where I want to converse with strangers about anything- fun small talk and banter to even deeper (sometimes philosophical) conversations with strangers [more so in house party or street settings] LMAO

Not to mention my confidence levels go through the roof- where I believe I'm an actual "model" -I love it and so does my boyfriend hahaha (he wants me to be this confident all the time), I'd love to harness this energy when I'm sober but still working on it

Edited June 24, 2020 by Moon

[Superfluo]

@Leo Gura

What do you think are the most efficient ways to gain that level of mental/emotional freedom other than psychedelics, enlightenment, spiritual practices like yoga or meditation?

What does it take to reach that freedom? Why is it so difficult? I mean, is there a silver lining behind anxiety and fear for average people? Or is enlightenment/spiritual practices the only way to transcend those blockages?

[nistake]

Nice. Now try to do this completely sober. Even more fun!

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Superfluo said:

@Leo Gura

What do you think are the most efficient ways to gain that level of mental/emotional freedom other than psychedelics, enlightenment, spiritual practices like yoga or meditation?

What does it take to reach that freedom? Why is it so difficult? I mean, is there a silver lining behind anxiety and fear for average people? Or is enlightenment/spiritual practices the only way to transcend those blockages?

You can certainly go out sober and pump up your state in the club so much that you will feel intoxicated simply on fun. I've done this. It feels like being drunk. Dancing is a great way to pump up your state, as is approaching girls. Lots of approaches will pump your state up to crazy levels. Having good friends with you will also pump your state up.

The best way to become socially uninhibited it to go out to nightclubs very often and push your comfort zone in the club with dancing, flirting, talking, having fun, etc.

Hell, you can even fuck in the club! That will pump up your state for sure

[allislove]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You can certainly go out sober and pump up your state in the club so much that you will feel intoxicated simply on fun. I've done this. It feels like being drunk. Dancing is a great way to pump up your state, as is approaching girls. Lots of approaches will pump your state up to crazy levels. Having good friends with you will also pump your state up.

Microdose of lsd, that's all it takes ??

 

Okay, haven't read the question you were answering lol

Edited June 24, 2020 by dimitri

[ajasatya]

@anxious_turtle Very similar to my experiences 6~7 years ago. There's certainly some gold in there.

Become mindful of the following opportunity: you can become who you are drunk, but sober instead. It will require some interesting inner work.

[Superfluo]

@ajasatya

12 hours ago, ajasatya said:

Become mindful of the following opportunity: you can become who you are drunk, but sober instead. It will require some interesting inner work.

Exactly, that's what I'm working heavily on. Any advice?

 

@Leo Gura

So an antidote to the rigidity and blockages of the body due to anxiety and fear is simply choosing to get excited? Is that simple?

[zeroISinfinity]

Go on some rave parties. 

Leo says you can even fuck laughed so much because it's true. Nothing better then girl on ecstasy.

College years. Kinda miss that. Was so fun. 

It can be again you know. Yes ofcourse. 

Peeps started to call me pervert because I have fetishes. What they do  Not know is that current chick is boring in that domain. 

I like to play and I miss my tango buddy very much so. 

Edited June 25, 2020 by zeroISinfinity