My self exploration journal 2

[Preety_India]

 

Finally my dream has come true... I'm so so lucky. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 29, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

 

[Preety_India]

When you are being overwhelmed, stressed, even in your deepest moments don't give up.. 

Maybe today is a bad time, a bad day. Maybe you feel right now you're completely breaking down, falling apart, your world is coming down, and you feel you want to die or you can't take it anymore, just think that even in this moment you have a sense of control, the control is within you and how much you let something affect you, you feel like you are fighting against a massive tide, you build up this motivation to fight hard, and the next moment all that motivation is drained out of you, and you can't keep up, preety it's okay, this is your life, this is your struggle, one day it will all be over or it will all come together, you feel you have zero energy and you can't fight anymore, but these moments are precisely the moments where you need highest bravery, instead of being overwhelmed, be prepared to face such a situation, be ready, train your mind and brain and use this opportunity to develop your inner self defense, not just screaming and shouting, that looks like a defense but it isn't really a defense, the real inner defense lies in not allowing it to affect you preety, not getting down, not giving up your brave fights, being stronger every day so the devil feels weaker everyday, being smarter every day, being calmer every day, not giving up everyday, not letting yourself break under pressure no matter how high the pressure is, survive survive survive, climbing the wall no matter how high the wall, strengthening your resolve every minute that instead of letting the devil attack you and defeat you and break your will, you choose to empower yourself every minute and let the devils hand slide, you be strong and faithful to yourself, you commit to yourself fully and bring yourself out of the suffering rather than letting yourself be weaker, it's a fight for survival and freedom, you be your own warrior and you fight for yourself  don't wait for anyone to do good for you, you fight your own battles, you be true, and you be prepared for anything that hurts you, you raise this strong fortress of positive emotions and great emotional energy that anyone throws darts at it, nothing happens, and you survive all of it without harm, but in every moment you inspire yourself to progress, to beat down, to win and be victorious and not a victim or sufferer, of course you are a victim but you find strength in your weaknesses and do as much good as you can and let the harm not happen to yourself, you be strong and brave even when the tide is against you and the odds are stacked up against you, you still emerge victorious a roman, you win the game against the devil, and you continue to survive and prosper and not let your inner light to dim down 

 

Edited July 29, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Focus on empowerment and struggle. 

 

[Preety_India]

Taking self responsibility and changing mentality 

Also need to focus on the body's innate self healing mechanism. 

 

Edited July 29, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Where there is absence of love and trust, there nothing will grow, this is what I believe. 

 

[kagaria]

@Preety_India

On 26.07.2020 at 8:24 PM, Preety_India said:

Do I know of someone who gets turned on by negative energy. 

And what do you call such a person. A sadist. 

 

Do you think it's possible for these people to change? From a devil into an angel

[Preety_India]

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

massive buildup of bullshit in the mind...got freedom from that. still got more work to do

 What I finally realized that your mind has to be or your mindset has to be happy, open, empty, positive all the time in life no matter whatever conditions you're  living in, no matter how bad your life is, no matter how unsuccessful you're, your mindset at any given time and in every  moment has to be happy, empty, open, free and positive.  

what's the worst that can happen in life....nothing...or nothing big...it's just another illusion born out of fear that something big will happen but actually nothing big will happen...it's only self limiting belief..learn to let go 

My fingers hurt so much with all this typing... But I go on typing because my mind keeps racing like a Mack Truck. 

"Love" therapy
It's all about general transcendence. Spirituality is not ultimate
In everything and almost everything, even in spirituality for that matter, in every situation, therapy, techniques, follow the "dos" and "donts " very carefully and balance these two to achieve maximum benefit out of the given methods or concepts without letting it cause any loss or damage by carefully avoiding the "donts" .....every technique and system always has its own set of dos and donts and its own set of pros and cons. You just have to avoid the cons and take the pros... this only leads to the realization or conclusion that nothing is absolute or perfect. Everything is just a blend of good and bad and you have to take in the good and avoid the bad. 

 

General  Transcendence aspects

Health

Productivity

Problems

Chakras

Spirituality and Mental Health

Situations

Contribution and Environment

Attitude, Paradigms, Psychology, Emotions, Shadows

 

Relationships

Career, work, occupation, Success, LifePurpose , Hobbies

Overall Fulfillment

I like this post

 I got off spirituality and am now addicted to personal development practice, not theory.  Spirituality is a molehill compared to the mountain of personal development.  

 

Use a very practical grounded calculated outcome based approach. Don't use an idealistic thinking or idealistic expectation based approach. 

Focus only on two things

Efforts
Outcomes
 

Effort should be output or outcome oriented. It should take the right direction. 

 

 

Right now on the menu 

Shadow work
Existential self inquiry
Deep contemplation
Meditation
Reiki
Love therapy
Chakras Healing
Non duality, Nothingness
Living in the moment
Happy, open,positive,empty mindset. 
Hippy dippy
Drawbacks

The rabbit hole of spirituality..

 

In  Spirituality we can have two approaches

Zero oriented spirituality
Growth oriented spirituality or fulfillment based spirituality.
 

The first approach is the glass empty approach and the second one is the glass full approach. 

Reality does not unblind. You're the one who is going beyond reality to find something. We're always looking at the perceived reality. Going beyond that means breaking this transparent screen of reality and seeing awareness, the reality which always escapes us pretty much like in this picture where people are looking at a screen they think is reality.  

Reality:

The transparent screen of awareness where life plays out, but which we don't seem to notice.

 

Now I am fully ready with my spiritual arsenal. I will call it my little spiritual bundle which I will use everyday for my growth in the spiritual direction. 

 

I have 11 different things in my bundle I could try to excel spiritually. I am glad I found my niche after 2 years of intense searching. I will try each one of these things everyday to hone my spiritual skills. 

 

I finally got to where I wanted to get to... the turmoil is over... the impatient waiting and yearning is over. . I can finally lay my heart to rest....Now I am really in a good place. I plugged in the key, collected my food and water and I am ready to go on a long solo journey to the end of the horizon, where it takes me I don't know but I'm pretty sure I'm on the path of love and it will take me to a lovely place I can call paradise of the mind...... 

Who knows ???? Paradise could be near. 

Right now I'm getting cosy in my little bed under 3 pillooooows...I don't watch much TV. I get bored of TV. 

What you see on TV is so different than real life....smh..

We live in a fantastic make believe world. 
 

Types visualization

Positive

Negative

Creative

 

 

Self esteem questions

How do I feel today  ?

How do I feel atm

Do you feel loved ? 

Do you feel good about yourself ? 

Are you happy ? 

Are you interested in doing your work ? 

What are your deepest desires ?

What kind of life you want ?

Do you think about the world too much ?

Do you feel wanted ?

Do you feel good ?

Do you go too far in impressing others ?

Are you completely authentic ? 

Do you express yourself fully ? 

Do you give a lot of importance to your emotions ? 

-------------------------

The problem the problem is when you don't feel great about yourself things don't happen and you don't feel like doing anything therefore feeling great everyday is an essential thing start everyday feeling great about yourself I've realised that a lot of my issues stem from low self esteem and not feeling great about myself I've also and I've also realised that not feeling great about oneself is actually a kind of lack of self love full stop if you feel great about yourself it's because you love yourself enough all the feelings of low self esteem or somewhere rooted in feeling unworthy I'm not feeling good enough and feeling like you are not upto the mark which means you don't love yourself enough which means you hate yourself is it good to hate yourself not at all you should never hate yourself for whatever reason just like you should never hate anyone you should love yourself remember the rule the thing which you appreciate is the thing which you have. whereas the thing which you do not appreciate is the thing that you lose. So whatever you got you will lose it if you fail to appreciate it do you want that that's the reason why you should learn to love yourself when you love yourself you feel good about yourself you feel great about yourself and when you feel great about yourself everything Falls into place and you don't care what the world thinks and....

 You hate yourself and that's a cringey thing.....when you don't love yourself you take yourself for granted and the reason you don't love yourself or let's put it the other way the reason you hate yourself maybe because you are too over ambitious it's because you think that you should be so and so in order to be loved it's like saying to yourself I would have loved myself more if I were rich or if I had money like that other guy or girl or or or I would have loved myself if I were tall,  if I were good looking like that girl / guy and so on .. so basically you are unsatisfied with who you are its ok to be better everyday but its not ok to hate yourself for not being something that you are not its like you hate your child for not being talented enough and that sort of a bias it's not good to do that you have to think that you are good already you just have to work on yourself and get better but not hate yourself for who you are is because of this self hate that you have some  inner sabotage going on. That is the reason why you treat yourself so shitty.

Points

Balance between narcissism and self  hate

You should have a healthy dose of self criticism as well. 

 you are creating competition by constantly comparing yourself to others and thinking that you should be like them or above them this kind of a thinking means everyone should be like each other or better than each other which is again competition so you are creating it yourself

 

 

Start my day with three things in mind 

 

1.   Wake up feeling good about yourself, in love for myself, not hating myself but thinking I'm good enough, I have my own unique journey. Not comparing to others. Wake up and the first thing feel great about yourself. 

2.   Remember time management 

3.   With  a mindset of that is empty,open,free, positive,happy

 

 

Next concepts in my repository

Why if the root or origin is bad then what if it finally evolves into is also bad. 
Connection between cultural degradation and faulty social paradigms. 
Why there's no point in putting too much effort into finding something that appears beneficial and contributing but actually in fact becomes pointless because it has little practical application. The pointlessness of no consequence...
If something is intrinsically disordered or dysfunctional or faulty then its tough to solve it and why studying it inevitaby leads to the conclusion that it is all bullshit in the long run. And nothing much comes out of the study. 
Also realizing the difference between studying something negative versus positive. Like studying all kinds of diseases versus studying good health. And why we're always drawn towards studying the negative more. 

 

 

Next concepts to study

What are my deeper desires
Which ones out of these desires is of actual practical benefit to me ? 
Which one of these is just a mental construct and a need created by the mind. 
Which one of these is survival oriented ? 
Which one of these is for the benefit of others
Which one of these is practically viable from a benefit based perspective and which one is not. 
Which ones need to be discarded because of lacking viability.

If the desire is not viable then discard it because it's just a mental construct. 

 

Desires

Good health
Productivity
Great relationships
Happiness
Beauty
Pleasure
Live the life that you want to live. Create the life that you want to create. 

Focus on Desire, Benefit, Effort and Outcome. 

 

Health 

Time 

Energy 

Mood 

Time  management 

Productivity  principles 

 

Situation  reaction  solution 

Self awareness,  hamster and  wheel  example 

Object sees itself 

Shadow work is a small  window  to self awareness,  self inquiry  meditation  enlightenment  spirituality  consciousness   

 

[Preety_India]

 

Self-Actualization
 
 

 

Its such a gargantuan thing . One glimpse is not enough  You gotta experience absolute infinity and passed broke through all the traditional boundaries that keep us in ordinary consciousness boundary of insanity the boundary  of death the boundary of existence and  non-existence all these boundaries )(quickly broke through within 10 minutes entered the Godhead  Godhead is like  the heart of God   it's the heart of absolute infinity it feels like this infinite cosmic chain reaction which has been going on forever  it's eternal and its scope is  unimaginable in size it's beyond all  measures of size it feels like you're entering into the middle of the Sun and  going inwards and going deeper and   deeper and it almost feels going inside this infinite headed Hydra where every human being,  just like a ball of human beings and corpses and animals and all the sentient you're just kind of like going through it and through it they pile on human corpses and   then they have a like one soldier buried underneath and he's trying to struggle his way out of all these no  beginning or end there's no center because it's of infinite diameter if you imagine it like a big sphere it's the Sun of infinite diameter now a window opens up where it's time to heal myself and it spontaneously happened about a window of ten seconds opened up where you  scan through the  body up and healing took place my entire body sort of healed itself the first time experience  such a thing for similar to advanced mystics commonly report healing  the substance of everything

which is the ultimate nature of reality is not physical,  it's not made out of matter it's not energy even and it's not even consciousness or awareness this is not awareness really what it is it just is being and even to call it being isn't quite right because really it has no name that's the key inside that you realize that you can't name the substance of which reality is made it's  just it irreducibly it and it's all one  all of it is one this is   the key  understanding is that you cannot define the substance of reality in terms of anything because the thing you're defining it with is itself the substance  so when you call it matter or energy or awareness or consciousness or you put  any kind of label on it or you think of it in any terms of a kind of physical way or spiritual way material way all of that is not it and the closest thing to what the actual substance of it is is nothing so the substance of everything is nothing and all of it is non-dual.reality is a strange loop what is a strange loop this is a concept from Douglas Hofstadter   basically what it means is that to say that reality itself is a strange loop is that it's a vicious circularity you see reality has nothing  to define itself against it has no ultimate standard or arbiter to ground it in anything and so therefore even ideas like existence and non-existence  are circular and they don't really exist  it's impossible because the itself you're trying to use itself to understand itself and it just can't do that it can't grasp itself it's like Alan Watts talks about how a knife can cut everything but itself or  or a hand can grasp everything but it can't grasp itself it can't turn in on itself because it is itself well this is happening at the highest level of what all of reality is and the problem is when we do science or when we do philosophy or when we do any kind of  religious cosmological thinking about All  what is the nature of God know that none of that can work because you're using it to try to grasp it which isn't it and so there's this vicious  circularity which is inherent to all of reality and when you see this circularity all distinctions collapse and breakdown and at that point you go into a sort of free fall and you fall into this Godhead where there are no distinctions at all really it's all one substance even the distinction between existence and non-existence no longer applies because that's also seen to be  groundless and viciously circular and that is the ultimate nature of reality what it is is it's like a cat  unraveling a yarn that unravels the cat

that's that's the essence of reality  that's the essence of consciousness work  is that you are this cat and as you are  doing the work and you think that you're going to unravel the work really the  work ends up unraveling you and you  realize that all of it has just been  this one yarn the whole time this is  what non-duality really means and he got  a really a clear and full hit of this  non duality and as he opened his eyes  sitting there on his couch he was  his  couch …he was  completely aware that he was nothing and that all sentient beings all animals all  humans and any other creatures or aliens  that exist anywhere out there that they are all him and he was sitting there in his  room and he was looking around and he  saw  and he  clearly connected for the first  time he clearly connected how what's happening right now in this finite room that he was seeing is actually none other than absolute infinity itself so this is  the insight that the Buddhists and the Hindus talked about where they talked  about how form is formlessness and formlessness is none other than form the two are one .

 

when he  opened his eyes that all of that was present right there and it was present here in the now  as he was standing there  that all of this is not happening to a human being it's sort of like what a  human being is is a little bubble within  this absolute infinite singularity in the same way that like if you imagine a bubble within the Sun like imagine an  Air  bubble or a little vacuum bubble  within the sun which kind of bubbles up  to the surface and and then goes poof  that's really what it's like to be a  human it's to be this little bubble and  that's what you're experiencing right  now as you're sort of in this bubble and  then this bubble really is not happening  to anybody it's happening within  nothingness its nature is nothingness  and then that's what you ultimately are  and that thing there doesn't exist nor  not exist it has no properties no features it's just nothingness and what he realized also is that since he is  all sentient beings and all sentient beings are one they're identical  that he is  also literally Buddha and  Christ simultaneously and all the other  mystics that have ever existed and so he  stood there in his room he  remembers very  vividly and he  realized like yeah okay --- I am the Buddha this is what the Buddha  this is exactly what the Buddha is was  and currently is so it's not like the  Buddha was some guy who lived 2,000  years ago or something like that it's  like no the Buddha is exactly what's being conscious of what you're  experiencing right now not in a  metaphorical way literally because the  Buddha was nothing Christ was nothing  you're nothing every single living  creature is nothing your dog is nothing your cat is nothing that is what's  conscious of everything and that thing  is one and that's what unites us all and  really what it all is is it's just one  being this infinite singularity it's not  just one being it's like an infinite  head Hydra and it can be anything that  it wants to be and you're just one of the heads of this Hydra and this Hydra  is fully alive and conscious and  it wants to be and you're just one of  the heads of this Hydra and this Hydra  is fully alive and conscious and infinitely creative so life is not  something that is happening within your  body life is happening across the board  everywhere every single square centimeter of the universe is alive but  of course we don't really see it that  way because we're very human oriented  and we're also very mammalian oriented  and were biology oriented and we don't

See  the life throughout the the fabric  Of  space itself but when you go into the  Singularity  you you see that since  everything is united in one that it all

of it is alive there aren't parts of it    that are and parts of it that aren't that's   distinctions that we make in a relative   fashion for scientific purposes and for  just for human being purposes he also became acutely aware that non-existenc is impossible and that there there's no thing there's nothing to fear about death because death is just death is  here right now if you want to think of  it that way you think that when you die you go somewhere you disappear to some  void or some nothingness no that void is  here right now that void is what's conscious of  everything right now there is no other  place to go you can't escape the all you can't escape infinity because infinity  is everywhere there's no way you can  escape it anywhere you are it already is  anywhere you can be it's already been so existence is literally impossible and that's a pretty cool thing to realize about life change your attitude towards life and  towards death and towards people and everything else also the insight  that reality as a whole is is just this  causal chain of creativity   that the causal chain of creativity goes  down infinitely forever to the bottom

like some scientists will say oh well our brain is is doing all the work all  the neurons they're making us creative  know every single one of those neurons  do you not understand it's infinite it's  got an infinite causal chain that goes down forever you are never going to get  to the bottom of what makes that that neuron act like that neuron you could  break it down to subatomic particles  strings and below that and other  dimensions and you will see you will  never get to the bottom of it it'll keep  going and going and going and going and  going forever there's an infinite causal chain to everything to every thought  that you have to all creative insights  to enlightenment itself to your being to  your sitting here and breathing and  being alive it's an infinite causal  chain of creativity that's the essence  of this thing it's gargantuan it's  beyond anything that that can that could  sit within the little confines of  science for example and that's it you  became aware of everything innocence  everything has been understood and that  was a very clear point  where it felt like okay that's it this is it this is everything there is to  understand about life and then this

acute sense of   life is complete this is what he had wanted to know since he  was  basically a kid since he started doing  philosophy when he  was a teenager in college and then for the last five years  or so since hes been doing  consciousness work in pursuing life this  is what he  wanted to know  he  wanted to know what is the substance of all of reality and here he  finally got it not just as a little  glimpse but as a full-blown  understanding where everything was clear  where there were really no more  questions left and that's it so let him talk about the after-effects so a couple of days past and various after-effects were happening of course he came back to  ordinary consciousness after some number  of hours the next day he  was back into ordinary consciousness but there were lingering after-effects most importantly  was that he  retained understanding of  the truth and he retained it to this day because it's not a experiential thing  which is happening right now it's not like  experiencing it it's more of sort of like  you understand why two plus two equals four you don't necessarily need to run  through the proof every time you just once you get it you get it even  though you might not be experience it  right now ,  also now whenever he is  kind  of  going through his day even though he is  back  to ordinary consciousness just when

he is  interacting with stuff when he is Looking  at his hands when he is  going to The  bathroom when he is  cooking when he is writing whatever he is  seeing that everything that he is  seeing around him is  is not physical the substance here is  not physical it's not colors it's not  sounds it's non-dual it's a non dual  substance and that's pretty cool my  meditation has gone through the roof his ability just to sit and and then his  mind starts to sort of focus on the  non-duality of what's in front of him  is it's quite remarkable although what's  interesting is that he  experiences some kind of ups and downs and there's sort of oscillation  and even a little bit of depression  after he  came back because what he has  discovered is that having these sorts of   peak experiences or even any kind of breakthroughs in your personal development it works like an oscillation like a spring so the way that a spring works that it  oscillates up that's when you have your  peak or you have your insight or you  have some breakthrough in whatever  you're doing and doesn't necessarily have to be just enlightenment it could  be in your business or in your art you  have this breakthrough then as well as a  spring would honestly then it has to come back down it doesn't come back down to baseline it comes back down lower right because it oscillates and then it sort of goes through this kind of sneaking motion until it evens out so it's just like a wave like this but then it it comes back to baseline although  the new baseline is a little bit higher  than the old baseline so what you're  doing is you're having these the  experiences and then you're gradually  raising your baseline but you can never  expect that your baseline is going to  become your peak that's the mistake that   people make and so it's all so natural  with this model to understand that when you have your peak you're also going tohave a little bit of a crash could be a epic crash or it could be a little crash you know it just depends on your  situation and then it sort of reverberates like that over a couple of days maybe even a couple of weeks and then it smoothens out so that's a good lesson to keep in mind because that's such your expectations for what these things are going to do to you so you're not blindsided caught off guard by them  so in a sense his meditation has  skyrocketed but also in a sense he still notices just these minor agitations and  frustrations and annoyances like  sometimes they don't even just want to  be sitting like one of the things he'll be talking about here in a second is he  became extremely creative after this and So  he has so much creativity that his  mind is racing with with insights that he needs to write down and so it's hard for him  to just sit and just to observe reality and to meditate because he is being so creative and so that creates  some kind of annoyance and also just the  idea that he has to sit there  also there's this kind of like underlying layer of annoyance about it he doesn’t know more so than it was in the past he’s sure that's a phase that he can just kind of push through but uh it has been bothering him a little bit so by no  means am is he in some sort of ecstasy or bliss as he is  walking around that has not  happened he  does  have a sense of peace and especially he notices a sense of peace  resulting from not seeking answers anymore he  don't feel like there's any answer that he particularly needs to get through any kind of inquiry and so in  fact usually when he  does inquiry usually when he sits to meditate he  actually does a form of inquiry but now he  doesn’t have anything to inquire about so  for him now it's more about just  meditation which is just being with the  present moment it becomes very simple   there's like no asking himself questions  of “who am I,” “ what am I” “ what is the world”  “what is reality,  what are sentient beings”  it's like no just sit there and notice  that everything is already infinite it's  more like that so that's  guess sort of the way that inquiry might progress if you're doing it right and you're having  the actual answers he still notices very acutely my addictions and bad habits because they have not gone away don't expect your bad habits and addictions to be cured by these sort of existential insights he means it could happen but not necessarily and most likely you'll need  to work on those separately  so he still has plenty of work to do as    far as that goes  creativity for him has gone through the  roof because one of the things that sort    of happened to him  in this journey of

 going into this Godhead is that he   realized the creativity of everything and he realized just how powerful  the force creativity is and he  sort of opened a channel it felt it felt like to divine creativity and that now is sort of flowing through him it was before but now he is more aware of it and he is  more aware of just how how massive a force this is and so over the last week he had been very  creative working on his book got a lot of stuff done had a lot of amazing insights  that he'll be sharing with you in the future that he has been taking notes on  and conceptualizing and making sense of  so the creativity has been quite  remarkable and his  passion has also been as high as ever in fact after all this happened after these insights he  felt like even though his  life was complete now and there was

nothing particular that he  needed to do  he  was just passionate about sharing these insights with the world and he  was     just passionate about the creative process ,  getting more in touch with his  his creative process in in ways that he  sort of got out of touch with in the  past and that has been a great  experience although it is challenging to  balance creativity with no mind or meditation for him  that's been a big challenge for a while now and it still is even now because as he  finds his creativity Rises since his  work is very  conceptual and theoretical he is  thinking a lot about that a  lot and a lot of interconnections are  being made a lot of stuff has to be  written down and organized so he is  organizing ideas and concepts in his  mind but as he is  doing that he is sort of in monkey mind mode in a sense  and he is not

in that kind of still peace meditative  zone and then when he is being very creative all day and then he goes to sit down and meditate for an hour that's  challenging because that kind of  transition is difficult to make us once  his  mind gets creative is just off on its  own being creative and it's hard to put a stop to it and just be silent so he is  still struggling with how to reconcile  those two.. one of the things that he  noticed with zen  people and Yogi's

and such is that it's a lot easier just  to focus on meditation alone like if you're living in a monastery or in a  cave and you have no creative pursuits  whatsoever you don't do any any kind of art or any kind of business you're not working with concepts you're  trying to organize your  knowledge to share with other people that's a lot  easier because you can just sit there  with a blank line all fucking day and if  you're an artistic type of person then  then good luck with that is all he is  saying now he is  not saying that the Zen  masters and such and Yogi's can't be  creative they can be creative but his guess is that they compartmentalize  those things well this is hard to do them both simultaneously to get into  others way and then the last after  effect that he  really noticed is that he has  realized that he has entered into spiral dynamics stage turquoise it just occurred to him just dawned on you think  oh yeah okay this is turquoise he is in  turquoise now and what turquoise is it's  the recognition of non-duality  the interconnectedness of all of life  and yeah it's just it's like it's beyond  systems thinking so systems thinking is  still happening stage yellow is that a--  is at this level of where you're  thinking about the world in a sort of  analytical fashion or as stage turquoise

is it's more at the level of being your  being it you're feeling it you're more  connected to it on an energetic level  it's beyond just breaking things down  into analytical systems the way that a  academic or a scientist might do and it's it's  seeing them the  irreducibly mystical nature of all of reality so that's stage turquoise and he thinks stage turquoise is also tapping into the creativity that creative power of reality you know in a more direct sense in a much more conscious sense knowing where that power comes from  opening those sort of channels and so yeah he was quite thrilled to enter that  stage he hadn't really thought about  stages in the past usually he  would think  of himself as a stage yellow kind of guy  because he is  always thinking about  systems and  analyzing stuff for multiple  perspectives but here it's kind of like  feels like going to the next level now  that doesn't mean that he is  in stage  turquoise  fully he  still has remnants he  thinks of the old stages within him that he needs to work through there's still some  orange in there there's still some green  stuff to work through he is  still very  much passionate about stage yellow but  then say turquoise is really where it's  at that's where you ultimately want to  get to and the only way you're going to  get there is through direct mystical  experiences and having insights about  the absolute nature of existence that's  how you do it that's why stage turquoise  people are so rare is because he  thinks as  far as you can go just using your logical conceptual mind is stage yellow  and then to go beyond yellow you need to have these experiences for yourself so  the question arises “am i enlightened,”  and  the answer is no he doesn’t want to say  that he is enlightened he  doesn’t  feel like he  qualifies for for that classification  because he  thinks that what's missing is  that even though he has the insight and  the knowledge and the understanding he  thinks that there's a further step that  needs to happen which is that he is  missing the abiding non-dual awareness  that he knows  is possible so he  thinks that  the the ultimate step would be to to be  able to actually stand here before you  and - guess it's almost like to be permanently high to be permanently  tripping so that you're actually seeing  the non duality you're not just knowing  it but you're actually it's like right  here it's very powerful you're almost in  a sort of ecstatic state he is  definitely  not there he thinks that for that to  happen he would need to do a lot more  meditating and just being present with  the moment not that he particularly any  kind of insights but just to be present  he already feels like he is  not like the  human body he is a  little bit detached  from it but he thinks  like not totally so more work needs to be done there which leads us to the  question of what's next well he thinks what's next for him  is exploring stage  turquoise more exploring creativity  figuring out how to reconcile creativity and meditation  he thinks what's next is a lot more  meditating mm just sitting and doing  nothing and just being with the present  moment he really needs thousands of hours  of that is what he feels like  but that's challenging because he is working he  got business responsibilities  he is  writing a book he  has  a product that  he wants to release so there's like a lot  of stuff that he wants to accomplish so  it's all about choosing priorities and and it's hard for him to justify sitting  for ten hours a day just in pure meditation although he is  sure that would  get very pleasant very quickly if he did  that  what's also next for him  is organizing a  lot of insights and knowledge that he  has a backlog of for the world and then  sharing that that's also what stage  turquoise is all about is it's really about connecting with your life purpose  and and making your life purpose sort of  divine your divinizing your  life purpose whereas before it was sort  of just like “okay yeah I'm helping the  world,” maybe or “ I'm doing some good for  my career,” and here it's like no it's  like he is  a force of God doing God's  work with his  life purpose it's sort of like that and by the way if you're

wondering like oh how does he  reconcile a  life purpose with enlightenment work  there's nothing to reconcile the two are  two sides of the same coin your life  purpose and your enlightenment will fit  together perfectly if you get them right  and the one will fuel the other and it  doesn't matter if your life purpose is  teaching people or making art or making  music or running a business or whatever  it is it doesn't have to be teaching  people your enlightenment will still  dovetail with your life purpose  what else is next for him is more  research and more learning he still feels  like there's a lot of stuff that he wants to learn and to research for the  purposes of teaching it and also these  are more minor relative insights so these are not absolute things that he is  researching these are just relative insights there's a lot of stuff within  the mystical and spiritual domain and  within science and philosophy and history in other places that when a  research and kind of cobble together as he is doing his work for the purpose of his  life purpose but also just because he is naturally curious about them what's more  is more tripping  is more tripping  he found that al lad is the most  effective tool for contemplation even more so than five Meo DMT because five  meö is just it's extremely powerful  it's all it's overkill really and it's it's too short to contemplate anything  serious you're just getting a little  taste of the honey you're not able to  eat the whole jar he means unless you do it constantly, for him but the AL ad is more gentle and he loves it because he  gets  to sit there for four hours and just  contemplate the hell out of everything  that he wants to and it's very very very  productive for him  so that's his go-to tool these days not to say that he’ll  never do five Meo you know but he likes the  sort of gentleness of al-lad and he can still go just as deep what else is next  for him is more personal development  there's still a ton of stuff that he wants  to work on in himself  that is sub-optimal  like he  said bad habits addictions annoyances emotional disturbances of all  that stuff is still there and you better  believe that it will be there for you even after enlightenment all that shit

will still be there you're going to have  to work on it so don't be thinking that  enlightenment somehow makes personal  development obsolete or that you if  you're pursuing enlightenment then you  shouldn't be doing personal development no.. you need to be doing both because  they're both going to be necessary you  can't avoid doing just regular old fashioned personal development  so what are  the lessons quickly for you firstly it's that the most important question you really want to be  asking if you're an existential thinker  like he is.. is what is the substance of  reality that's even more important than who are you what are you what is the  substance of everything this stuff here  what's it all made out of you should be wondering about that every spare minute of your day another lesson for you is  that conceptual understanding is very  helpful when you're trippin so sometimes  we talk about concepts in this work as a bad thing like all concepts concepts are terrible they keep us from the truth yes

and also no because people who don't  have the right conceptual foundations  are not able to make sense of it of the  truth and they're not able to make sense  of their trips and so for him the more he  understands conceptually the better he  organizes his own knowledge through  note-taking and thinking about it in a  sort of ordinary fashion then when he does  experience these deep things then he can  make sense of them and then also he can  talk about them so he thinks one of the  most important things you can do if   you're having enlightenment experiences  mystical experiences in your meditation  practice whatever is right about it   journal about it talk about to somebody  because as you're trying to articulate  it to yourself or to somebody else  you're also clarifying it in your own  mind what it is and that helps it to  stick and then that helps to lay the  foundation for the next experience  you're going to have and the next one in  the next one so you're sort of gradually  layering this stuff like almost like  layers of cement right you need to gradually layer the cement it has hardened then you put another layer on  another layer and that way you can develop yourself very high another lesson for you is think through what the  grounding for anything is this is related to this issue of the substance  of reality so how  any substance ground any substance because what you need to ultimately realize that it's all circulars the  vicious circle is a strange loop it's a  cat unraveling a yarn that unravels the cat there is no substance there can be  no grounding that is the essence of  reality is that is a thing which can  have no ground because it is itself and there's nothing outside of itself to  ground it that's the key insight but  you've got to grasp it very deeply with  your whole being not just with your  intellect so spend some time thinking  through that on paper like ask yourself  the question what grounds the difference  between existence and non-existence  because if you're like an ordinary  person you think that there's existence  and there's non-existence but why do you  think that does the difference between  existence and non-existence actually  exists or does it not exist or neither  think through that just using your  ordinary logic to see that your logic  starts to break down and then that will  set you up for having the right kind of insight future another lesson for you is make sure that you hone your desire to know the truth this is one of your key weapons in this work is to have a genuine a very genuine authentic desire  for the ultimate truth you have to want to know not to improve your life but for  it sounds like you want to know because  you want to know because you want to  know because consciousness wants to know  itself and your consciousness and you  just want to know don't underestimate  how powerful just that desire is purify it let it guide your life let it set  your priorities let it tell you what to  do let it tell you when to trip let it  tell you when to meditate  to contemplate that can do a lot for you  cut through a lot of bullshit another  lesson for you is that creativity and  enlightenment fit together perfectly now he just said that meditation creativity  can be at odds with each other that's true but creativity and  enlightenment can fit together perfectly  in the sense that once you have these  deep mystical experiences then it really  frees you up to be creative in a non  detached way and it opens up these  channels for you so if you're an

artistic type of person if you enjoy  being creative if you want to have a big  impact on people with your creativity  and you want your creativity to be more

effortless and not so neurotic and  strained and filled with ego and all  that then enlightenment is like the  perfect thing for you watch what happens with your creativity when you start  having these experiences it's going to  be amazing it's going to be levels of creativity it's going to be so much   creativity you're going to be at a loss  of words and you're not going to know  how to get it all down on paper so much  creativity infinite divine creativity

it's remarkable  you're going to feel like a vehicle of  God doing God's work with your art or  with whatever and the final lesson for  you is that if you still have any doubts  there's nothing more worthwhile than  this work there's nothing more  worthwhile than the truth it is by far  hands down the most powerful and the  most significant thing that can happen  to your life it'll transform your entire life and it will take you to levels of  development that you never imagined  possible that you don't see other people  around you generally having in society  it'll put you sort of into a category of  your own and while that might feel a  little lonely sometimes or whatever in  the end it's totally worth it so if  you're  sitting there and you're struggling to  self inquire to contemplate and you  don't know why you're not getting the  results well just keep in mind that  you're after a very big thing here this  is a very big thing very big prize so  you're not going to get it cheaply or  easily might take you some years of  struggle to get there in the meantime  just keep telling yourself that it's  going to be worth it have that sort of faith and doesn't have to be blind faith  but it just has to be a lil you guy mean  you can use a little logic here as well he means he is  not just standing there bullshitting you this stuff is life  transforming and he wishes  that he  could communicate the full emotional power of  this stuff better but it's just not possible because this is something you  have  to experience for yourself that's it.

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Having solid mental health doesn’t mean that you never go through bad times or experience emotional problems. We all go through disappointments, loss, and change. And while these are normal parts of life, they can still cause sadness, anxiety, and stress. But just as physically healthy people are better able to bounce back from illness or injury, people with strong mental health are better able to bounce back from adversity, trauma, and stress. This ability is called resilience.

People who are emotionally and mentally resilient have the tools for coping with difficult situations and maintaining a positive outlook. They remain focused, flexible, and productive, in bad times as well as good. Their resilience also makes them less afraid of new experiences or an uncertain future. Even when they don’t immediately know how a problem will get resolved, they are hopeful that a solution will eventually be found.

 

[Preety_India]

 

First it's important to have a solid foundation from which to work. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I just hate it when I get a really important thought in my head and I just miss it. 

 

 

 

 

 

The problem with some people is that they haven't been through shit in life yet they have an opinion on everything. 

 

 

In the end everything is just bullshit. Everything. Everything is just nothing 

 

 

I want to really be very authentic in life. Like truly authentic. I am so done with the fakery in the world. I don't want to buy into it. I have always been more or less authentic but I want to take it to another level, to a higher level. I want to be purely authentic, remove all my impurities. 

Being authentic will give me a good sense of direction. 

 

The other thing is that I no longer want to be associated with any form of politics that people do. I have a crystal mind. I want to see through their bullshit and be able to deny them when they do it, catch them in their act.. I just want to say "No" to such people. Because all it serves is nothing but drama and it is draining to my productivity and to my essence, to who I really am from within. 

I just want to be away from that bullshit. 

 

One way to spot bullshit is to ask myself "is this bringing out the best in me or the worst in me?" and if it serves my purpose really well and brings out the best in me, then yes, I should really engage in it. If not, I should simply respond No and get on with my work. 

 

Edited July 30, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

How much a person is desirable to me should depend on how much room they give me, how much I'm allowed to be myself, how much productive I can be around them..The key here is "being yourself" and if I cannot be myself then I should leave such company. The company of such people doesn't serve my purpose. One sign of how the devil works in your life is when you are not allowed to be yourself and turned into something that you do not want to be, if you feel like you are struggling to be yourself, then it's a sign that the devil is playing his games. 

 

 

 

 

One way of sorting this out is to ask three questions. 

1. Is this how I want myself to be? 

 

2. Is this how I want my ecosystem to be? 

 

 

3. Is this how I want the process to be? 

 

 

What I mean is that you don't need to be a bootlicker in order to fit into someone or something because you should be yourself. And if you are not accepted for who you are or if you are slandered then that's the hand of the devil and you should simply leave such people because they don't love you, because if they did, they wouldn't slander or demonize or reject you. They wouldn't set you up for failure. 

The bottom line is... Don't be a bootlicker. Settle for nothing. Be yourself. Let go of the fear of rejection. Carve your own path. Care for nobody. Their validation is garbage. You are you and nothing should change that. Anyone who tries to make you something that you are not, they are not good for you. There is always a cult like mentality with people where if you are not accepted by them, then you are automatically a bad person. This is Gaslighting at its finest and Stage Blue/red societies use this Gaslighting to their advantage to put good people away by branding them rebels. 

You don't need to be in their game. You don't need their drama, you don't need their bullshit, you don't need their game. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 30, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

There is a certain kind of liberation associated with being yourself. It's just how it is. When you are purely you and you are your best authentic self, you instantly feel a huge dose of sunshine and pride. 

You are leaving all the bullshit behind and continuing to glow in your freedom and glory. In being you. Not feeling any strings attached to you, not feeling any burden lingering on your shoulders. You don't feel needy. You don't feel that you need a stamp of approval, because clearly you don't. 

 

 

 

Edited July 29, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

How will I feel satisfied today? 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

3 things to focus on 

Self 

 

Ecosystem 

 

Process /Function 

This is basic purple stage thinking. Rest everything is Green, Orange, Blue, Yellow and Turquoise. 

 

A healthy orange, a healthy blue, a healthy green, a healthy turquoise and a healthy Purple are absolutely essential. 

 

I have developed my own system of growth. I will call it the pyramidal model of growth. It's still in formation stages. It starts with something foundational and then the pyramid grows upward rapidly towards... 

.. And then goes to infinite growth and maintenance. The base or foundation remains as strong as ever.

 

So I created a three dimensional model for my growth. 

And this is how it looks like 

The upper portion is still in building mode and it represents infinite growth because it continues to grow infinitely. 

The bottom shows a fortress gradually building around the center pyramid of growth. 

The pyramid shows a foundation at the bottom and stages of growth in a gradual manner. 

 

 

Another image is this pyramid surrounded by a block or wall that can represent a fortress. 

 

This is the same triangle but it includes various stages of Spiral dynamics combined, the colors are a bit misplaced.