My self exploration journal 2

[Preety_India]

I will call it torpedo effort 

 

I get what torpedoe efforts means but in this case the word mean razor focus. 

 

It's like concentrated and directed effort. 

 

Edited July 13, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Last night, I saw Leo in my dream again. It was funny because he was giving rides to everyone in an amusement park. He himself had taken that ride like 225 times. 

Other parts of the dream. 

There was a guy in a grocery store that just wouldn't stop yelling loudly at customers. Then he walked up to me and asked me if the stuff he was holding were onions. And I told him yeah. Then he proceeded to dump those onions. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

The model that I'm going to be using from now is kinda crude 

 

 

The frame which is required here is 

Energy 

Motivation 

Goals 

Action

Insulation 

Fortification 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Rewards are necessary for motivation. It's a process of stimulating motivation. The thing is that motivation is all about stimulation. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I will maintain a reward jar

 

Shucks I always used to do this. 

 

[Preety_India]

I had this dream where if a person said no, the face color would change. Sometimes pink, yellow, green and so on. 

It was unusual. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

This is also a vent journal so obviously I'm going to vent here. 

 

Not every day is a perfect day. 

 

Edited July 13, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Understand that when you regret something, that is also a learning lesson in itself. 

It teaches you how to avoid regretting in the future. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

                      

 

 

[Preety_India]

Need to start some serious work from today and I'm ready. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I think I should seek rewards in other ways too. 

For example reading a book is also a reward. I mean it can be. 

So also other stuff that is Enriching to the mind. 

 

[Preety_India]

I have decided that I will reward myself with money. 

That's a more powerful way of rewarding myself. 

Every time I achieve something I will withdraw some money from my bank and deposit it into my other bank account as reward or keep some cash with me each time. This way I can reward myself. 

At the end of the year I can review my bank account and see how much reward I collected. 

This is a good way of rewarding myself. 

I can deposit the money back into my bank account to restart the next year... 

 

[Preety_India]

I will put both bills and coins into my piggy bank as reward. 

For now I put 200 coins and 1 bill in my piggy bank as reward.. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This can be a great idea. 

Edited July 14, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Other than rewarding myself directly I can use visualization as a potential method of motivation. 

I also found that continuously talking in front of the mirror helps me improve my self confidence and keeps me active. (you know draw the circle) 

One witchcraft technique which I can use for motivation is sprinkling salt. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rubbing beads is another technique. 

Also repeating mantra. 

 

However the basic model behind all of my efforts is the following 

 

Energy 

Motivation 

Goals 

Action

Insulation 

Fortification 

 

Edited July 14, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

I will keep a reward point system here 

Like date and reward points. 

For example I can do something like 

A proforma for reward points system 

July 14th 2020 

Reward points - 

Reward points - 

The post can be edited for 48 hours. After that I can delete the post and repost my points to keep continuity. 

I will do this from today. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

This is so true 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

 

Also from today, I don't want to be a warrior anymore. I just want to be a silent observer. 

[Preety_India]

 

I have realized that relationships especially when it comes to women depend a lot on the emotional profile of a woman in the relationship. 

And psychological profiling studies are extremely important for women to stay away from damaging men, predatory men and abusive men, to easily spot them and keep them at bay. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I can confidently say that my emotional profile today is radically different from my emotional profile a year ago when I was with my abusive ex

Today I'm emotionally independent, I think better, I look better, I can easily read a man, I can read red flags and signs and warnings like never before. I'm more aware of abusive behavior. 

The more awareness I have the more I'm able to spot lies and bullshit and abusive behaviors. 

I had an absolutely horrible mother who could have taught me nothing about relationships. In fact she was the one making me stay in abusive relationships. 

I hope every woman has a strong mother who coaches her and tells her how to not fall into damaging abusive relationships and how to stay safe emotionally and mentally and not get weak towards men or simply believe whatever they say, but have the ability to spot manipulation in a man. 

 

[DrewNows]

@Preety_India aww she coached you in the most indirect way, to live out her guilt, fear and pain. She’s made you into a very beautiful soul, your love can change anyone without effort ??