Responsible For My Parents Happiness?

[Scarecrow]

Hi, my parents and sister are highly unhappy and negitive people. There always screaming and fighting everyday. Unlike them I'm very up beat and positive. So I tend to stay away from them and practice my self actualization work. I feel selfish for doing this while my family is crumbling. Should I be trying to help or should I just be taking  responsibility for my self. 

[Mal]

@Scarecrow

C'mon, 

You already know the answer to this.

[JimAqua]

@Scarecrow  What I believe about human beings is you cannot change them. Firstly, I suggest you to talk it out to your parents and sister as you mentioned. Tell them about how it bothers you and how it is affecting your life. I know it is very difficult to do so, but its worth a try. Be assertive and set boundaries. If talking to them doesn't work, I would tell you to ignore their behaviour everytime and do your work in a different place.

[IndependantKouhai]

Yes, as @JimAqua said, try talking with them, if it doesn't workout - stay away from what no longer serves you. They will take you down with them.

[Allinthemind]

@Scarecrow

Possibly both.

Being responsible for and taking care of yourself is important. This doesn't mean that you are being selfish.

Being (feeling) "responsible for" and "helping others" is not the same thing. You undoubtedly feel guilty about what is happening with your family. This may have been part of your family conditioning imposing dependent beliefs on others: "it's your fault that I'm feeling this way!" Are they seeking your help? If they are, then you can offer it. Whether your help is a short term fix or creates independence in the long term for them depends on the situation and what they are trying to resolve.

You can only help those who are prepared to help themselves first.

Can you shed some on light on what is going on?

[Christian]

When you are looking back at your life in 10 years, you will likely realize that you should've done what gave you the most satisfaction at the time. Some people are just not worth it. Better to go off on your own sometimes...

[Swede]

I think you are doing the right thing staying away from them.

But if you think you can help them, helping them could be great.

If you think ignoring them is better for yourself, then ignoring them could be better.

I don’t see doing self-actualization work as something selfish. Value it to develop yourself, so you in the future will be able to help more people than just your family members.

I think it is just natural for young men to be “selfish” and do their own thing. I think it is supposed to be like that.

I think it’s common with cultural pressure that ignoring your family is wrong. I myself am from Sweden, where we don’t value the family as high as in many other cultures.

[MIARIVEL]

@Scarecrow Maybe bring it to their attention, how family shouldn't be actin like this towards each other. You can only help them see how destructive their being towards each other and mention how this may affect you as you want everyone to get along. Depends how much you all value family. Sometimes though family can be a negative influence and its best to just keep your distance and do your own thing, bettering yourself and worrying about yourself instead of others. After all you come first before anyone else other wise you won't be able to help anyone else.