Early Trauma

[Zec]

Mother passed away when I was two years old. Been struggling for years with self-deprivation, hopelessness, depression, anxiety, identify issues, terrible relationships, and now digestion problems. I neglected the death of my mother having any significant change to my self esteem my entire life. Tried Leo’s trauma release exercise. Have no idea how to contemplate around early trauma.  

[ArchangelG]

Sorry to hear that! 

I've had some very early abandonment traumas myself, and they really suck. 

This might help some, it did to me.

 

[studentofthegame]

Hi Zec.

It can be useful to use a therapist to help you navigate and process early trauma. I spent 3 years in attachment-based psychodynamic talk therapy, which ended in december just gone, and i am still processing and growing from it 6 months later, as my therapist advised i would.

If you don't want to speak to a therapist, try journalling. Look at daniel macklers videos on youtube for his experience with that. 

Books. I was recommended the tao of fully feeling by someone on here, and i in turn would recommend it to you. You will learn that the way to process your trauma is through a process including grieving, angering if necessary and things like that. 

Your trauma needs a voice and needs expressing, and these above are just some ways of expression, otherwise it wreaks havoc in ways you have described you are suffering now. Find what works for you and know you will be in it for the long haul.

Meanwhile, prioritising sleep, good nutrition, exercise and hydration are some practical, hands on things you can start to work on right now. It all contributes to your state of mind. 

Talk. Talk to people, come on here and post every day if you have to. Read books and act on the information you take in. I've been guilty in the past of reading book after book, buzzing off the information and the prospect of improving my life, but not acting. What you may find if you do this is a build up of energy without an outlet (acting on the info). Energy needs to move in and out and if you don't move it out with positive actions then it blocks and congeals and can manifest itself as a mood disorder, or in displaced aggression or depression, etc.

Start small if you need to, everyone has to start somewhere and i suspect if you are doing it properly you will always feel you are at a beginning of sorts. I know i do. 

[Zec]

Definitely think all the time how I need to talk to people. Tell people. Thank you  for your words. Already ordered the Tao of Fully Feeling book.  Thanks for the vid ArchangelIG.