Advice to Letting Go of Pure O OCD?

[Sandy6]

Hey, after long time, i decide to post this thread on actualized forum . Quick background, i'm 24 yo from Southeast Asia, following Leo's videos for years and became silent reader on this forum. I never going to seek psychiatrist or any professional help, living on small village make not easy to reach, and after broke also depression i didn't have money to pay for it. Currently, i get little better and start my new business also doing personal development. Although i understand this forum are not for medical advice, but this is what i can do right now. I think it will help if share about my problem or get important advice here! I am not native English.

It's like self-diagnose, but i have exactly symptoms of pure o ocd, i have obsessive sexual thought about family, not sexual basically but like a porn, such as nude images, words, or urges. And it's feel the thought contaminating anything what i do. Worst of all, my mind keep moralizing that something is bad/dislike/disturb or create something like "if this then this" etc irrationally. And i think this is the root of the problem who caused any obsession, fear, and compulsion. I have Muslim background, but when write this post, i already let go and begin the journey of understanding reality.

My compulsion are like change with positive thought, doing the work repeatedly until feel uncontaminated, stop activity or avoid the intrusive thought or washing. Even when i try to get ideas or solve my ocd, then unwanted obsession come, it's said that the ideas are contaminated and feel wrong too. Some compulsion even happen automatically. I know this is stupid and i know what should be right, but when i try to force it can feel anxious 16 hours per day, unless i sleep. This is also the time how obsession can come, attack and uncontrollable. Some triggers are like externals when i saw people or when i doing something important. My mind usually try to analyze and prove battling itself that i'm not wrong and find a way how to get unstuck. 

I've even been stuck for 4 hours doing nothing and cannot move my body, because when i move feel wrong. This ocd make so much negative effect on my life and my happiness. And when something is little better, my mind is like try keep searching a way to make me feel wrong. Sometime i doing the obsession or thought intentionally for analyzing or accidentally or while i mad why it can't be stop. 

Since 9 yo, i remember have first pure o ocd, my mind say words to insult God. I doing compulsion then obsession may disappear, weirdly it became auto compulsion that cannot be stop. In that moment, i don't care so much and didn't know that was ocd, until i'm 21 years old. Particularly i didn't care if my mind say something which almost never be stopped for years. It is crazy, but i tried not to disturbed by those thought. It seems like palilalia and now can be so distracting. When i grow up, also i care so much about halal wealth, purity, contamination of bad things even from people, or something weird like i must walking on that path or something must be like this. And any other form of pure o ocd thought, such as harm, or how if something happen; irrationally, etc. I live with a lot of doubt and so neurotic.  

Afterward something start to go wrong, 2 years ago when i unconsciously make everything clean or uncontaminated from certain people. For many form of ocd before, i think is not a big deal. But around 6 month ago, the hell come. When idk, have the pure o ocd about sexual obsessive thought. Until now, i really didn't get any peace of mind and everything seems so horrible. Before, i have thought to kill myself or want to die multiple times a day because this problem. Then i try to find solution and help. I don't assume sex or porn is bad or something like that, i think is normal and good, i love see beautiful girl and i love my girl friend. But can feel so disturbing when related with some people who you respect or you didn't want to or impossible to even think about that. I also have some bad moment in the past from people who judge or angry with me, or belief like i must respect and don't ever doing mistakes or shameful in front of those people since was kid.

I do what i possibly can, i do a very lot of research, from many perspective and different sources, and a lot of contemplating or journaling. I also watch almost all Leo's video. I talk with my friends, and try many method. I try focusing to overcome this specific mental problem for last 6 month. Technique like acceptance, exposure, stop victim mentality and taking responsibility, mindfulness / awareness, try stop care, even start learning and doing enlightenment work. Nothing really help yet. I know from my place and my recent condition, another alternative method like psychedelic, healing, or something like that really not available here or so much alternative that maybe i can't reach. Doing positive activity like meditating, yoga, exercise, healthy food, or stuff like that maybe just little help and not so effective for me too. From my experience, the technique that found more help now is the Letting Go technique. I already try understanding and practicing for about 6 month. And because i am not so good at it and too difficult to let stuff go, and feel so complicated, so this is cannot 100% cure or managed yet but make little help. I still try reacting instead of respond. Especially when my emotion are low or i'm confused. Motivation cannot help, only make little better. I cannot life like this so more 

I know i said horrible things before or how not understand am i. Actually i am really passionate man. I have purpose, want to change and work. Also i make commitment to keep doing this self actualization work. Surely, it is hard to start the journey like this when my environment are different and has been conditioned so much. I have been experiencing difficult moment in my life in the past like grief, fail multiple times on business, doing the job that i don't like, money problem, being single and so on. Or internal problem like porn addiction and laziness. When i was school i am student with good grade, successfully run online business 6 years ago, building new habits. Even only few people can speak English here, and very rare to know about self actualization work. I already overcome so much stuff in my life also build strong attitude. I also have girl that always support me. But i can say this is my most difficult problem in my entire life. Yep, i know maybe it will make me stronger, but it so difficult. 

Like i said before, there are part of my mind that is so judgmental, and i have other part that saying what is true from my direct experience and try understand that what Leo said is true. But i didn't know why this judgmental mind is win and seems conquering all my life. While something happen, i try to interpret with different meaning, it's still cannot change. BUT sometime my mind can agree when reason are soo good. And when i try like, don't believe your mind, it also not work because i keep using my mind and feel anxious all the time. So, maybe you guys can help me give the very good reason, about what i doing or happened is absolutely not wrong or bad or dislike.   

I hope you spend time to responds this thread with something that really helpful and i possible to do. Right now i'm trying to have strong letting go attitude to end this ocd. I will really appreciate a lot! Or glad if get reply direct from @Leo Gura  I just want to live a normal life with purpose, work, and peace of mind. Sorry, if i still not understand so many things that i said because i also just beginning of learning something that never teach for me before. Thank you  

Edited June 13, 2020 by Sandy6

[ArchangelG]

This might be of some use to you:

" OCD is about trying to avoid the feeling of unpredictability and unsafety, specifically the unsafety that is in the form of unpredictability. If you have OCD then you think doing things in a certain way and being a certain way that helps you guarantee getting certain results. That's the only control you feel over your reality. 

" - Teal Swan

 

[Sandy6]

6 hours ago, ArchangelG said:

This might be of some use to you:

" OCD is about trying to avoid the feeling of unpredictability and unsafety, specifically the unsafety that is in the form of unpredictability. If you have OCD then you think doing things in a certain way and being a certain way that helps you guarantee getting certain results. That's the only control you feel over your reality. 

" - Teal Swan

Thank you. I watched it. Pure O OCD is like i know that feeling is lie, but my mind still attach too much into that feeling or that reason. The obsession are so disturbing. I have some cleaning type of ocd before, but already get rid off it, and other form too. But this pure is most difficult to bear.  While i trying to let go, that attachment on it still. 

For example, i have some naked images about someone i respect while i work, then my mind telling me to doing compulsion, then when i try to let go. My mind making reason like: this work are contaminated, what happen in the future if you remember you starting this while have negative thought that unpleasant, this is too big because only one person naked image not three person and your work decision are so important for the rest of your life but contaminated, this is really i hate this. And some other stupid reason like that and anxiety.

Sometime i confused, while i have obsession and that reason, but on unmotivated state, so my attitude to deal with it seems have no power. And wondering why not go naturally subconsciously, so i wouldn't care and living in peace then focus on my purpose. I need strong letting go so that reason and anxiety disappear, may i can get technique here! 

Even i thought, maybe if i married it will end, i get confidence and strong reason. Or enlightenment. But, it might only happen on long time. 

Edited June 17, 2020 by Sandy6

[Inliytened1]

@Sandy6 the key to overcoming Pure OCD is consciousness.  You're ability to go meta on an OCD thought - also known in OCD circles as a synthetic thought.   As soon as an OCD thought arises you go meta on it and become directly aware that it is OCD.  This tales the wind out of the OCD sails so to speak.  Because the guilt associated with it and the anxiety has no meaning anymore.  The thoughts are not you and are no longer identified with you.  

The fact that even you (the self or ego) is an illusion and all thoughts coming from the ego are as well is a topic for another day.   But enlightenment will really help things.  Right now we are concerened with OCD.

So the more you go meta the more it realizes it can no longer fool ya.  And it becomes milder and milder until there will be mostly times of remission.  Most of your life will be remission with perhaps a few little relapses here and there.   Anxiety is the trigger so minimize anxiety wherever possible.

But your key is consciousness.  The OCD sufferer is caught in the OCD web and doesn't realize it.  If they did they would be on the other side of it.

[Sandy6]

@Inliytened1 While try to focus "outside'' of the mind, like to awareness, activity (physical), or live from heart, it's always back to mind while anxiety or intrusive thought attack. So, it is hard to me as a normal person with ego and having ocd. Maybe a normal healthy mind person can easy to ignore that relative fear or in the high state of awareness. 

From recent days, my obsession change, may get worst, from family and now other people (which i have bad experience on the past). I never thought it can change. But when target change, past target (people obsession) become release on my mind and like i don't have more ocd anymore about those people. After research other technique, find reason and make my method strong. I don't think there are cure or no reaction, when your thought so worst. As self with different level of fear. And feel contaminated on my most important purpose in life. Unless you forgot. May ocd can dissapear itself after we not care more about it as time goes on... without needed the perfect technique. 

What i do now is still practicing letting go also some spiritual practice like pray. I do what work for me and what i can do. Thank you so much btw for your response, i know this is from your experience. 

Maybe anybody have any other advice? I glad for read that.

Edited June 29, 2020 by Sandy6

[Roy]

Hi @Sandy6. I've suffered from the same sort of affliction for a handful of years, except my Pure OCD is harm based and centers around violence.

I've found the thing that helps the most is to not give the thoughts or urges any power. Realize they are meaningless and out of your control. Notice how they simply "arise" in the mind, sometimes without triggers. It's not really you thinking them, so you don't need to feel guilt. I think that's the first hurtle many people with this sort of ailment struggle with.

What you can control is your reaction to it. If you dwell on it and go down different thought paths and rationalizations, it just makes it worse. And you get lost in the emotions and uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. This is where the problem and solution is.

Simply notice the thoughts as they arise. Don't "think" anything about them like "this is a bad thought", or "I shouldn't be thinking this". Or absorbing the emotions too much and letting that consume you.

Notice them, and let them go. Watch them drift by in your mind. Don't do anything with them, let them pass.

Mindfulness meditation is a very good practice for this because it trains your awareness. You'll be able to notice the thoughts a lot more and be detached right in the moment so you can let it pass.

After enough time without "feeding" the thoughts with more thinking and emotions, it starts to die and the don't arise as much. Of course you can never truly "forget" them forever but this is the best you can do I think.

Hope this helps cheers - Roy

Edited July 1, 2020 by Roy

[mandyjw]

@Sandy6 I had OCD manifest in very similar ways such as you did, I also grew up in a religious home. 

On 6/13/2020 at 6:15 PM, Sandy6 said:

Since 9 yo, i remember have first pure o ocd, my mind say words to insult God.

Mine was "promise your soul to the devil". Carl Jung had this vision of God pooping on a church steeply, and had great relief when he allowed himself to have the vision and let it go. The OCD you experience is like an inner voice that forces you to destroy your ideas of right and wrong and destroy your attempts to be good and pure. It also forces you to dis-identify from your thoughts. Most people believe that they are in control of their thoughts and are thinking their thoughts but that's just not the case, for anyone. 

We believe that we live in a dualistic world, of opposites and things to avoid. There is right and wrong, pure and dirty, good and bad, etc. To someone with these kinds of thoughts nonduality and spirituality does not seem like a choice at all, it feels as if it's being forced on us, but by the thoughts that we believe are ours and coming from our own heads. This is experienced as something incredibly uncomfortable until we question what we are, what thoughts are and what they really have to do with each other. This kind of contemplation and questioning, along with mediation, mindfulness, consciousness work and self LOVE is the medicine. 

This voice is really attempting to free you from your own suffering. We make the mistake of blaming the impulses and voice FOR the suffering. It's not, it's illuminating it, it's showing our own suffering and resistance to us. It's an amazing gift. Mediation and studying nonduality and spirituality is key to accepting this gift, that comes in really scary ugly wrapping paper. This forum is a great place to start. Studying the Law of Attraction, Abraham Hicks was a huge help to me. OCD turns into impulses, which is intuition which leads you to joy and the unfolding of life you want to live the most.

Again this is not a problem, it's a gift. If you can see what it is and what it's trying to liberate your from, you instantly become liberated from it. This won't happen until we realize that the voice itself is not what we need to be liberated from. You cannot let it go until you stop trying to get rid of it. What you resist persists. 

I know, I KNOW that sounds crazy to a mind that thinks it knows right from wrong and insanity from sanity. But THAT is the crazy part. 

 

Edited July 1, 2020 by mandyjw

[Sandy6]

I feel sorry too for your suffering @Roy you said some facts that touch me and give the most common way for dealing with it and easy to understand about letting go. I know it's hard to practice it, when the thought become so worst. For me is feel contaminated also bad future. Thank you so much for writing that so long. I contemplating value advice like that. 

I want to go detail, so might some people can understand. And i think is good for learn too also sharing for some who already suffered with pure o ocd. Although must be prepared, my explanation may will sound so stupid at the same time while reading stuff bellow 

So, my thought are now change. Before it thought about family which now almost disappear, then now thought about a friend who bullied me while i was a kid. This is how it works. When i do the important work; registering, start something, save important digital file, create ideas which function for the rest of my life, make life decision, (all is also as triggers). Then the image of penis/boobs/ass rises on my mind. Or thought like "how if i doing this sexually with person i don't like (very horrible scary idea) before i starting this job" on cause and effect way.

Because my activity have long term effect, then when the thought came, everything will feel so unpleasant and contaminated with. I am afraid of how if i feel that guilt on the future. Even like this; if i have those scary thought, while i read something and get important lesson from it. Later when i use the lesson, the ideas become feel guilty, then if those ideas generating another new ideas, it can feel bad again, so on and on, continuously contaminated on causality mode.

I have experience, idk it might be experiencing by others. Well i think the obsession are attached or depend on the thing called idea. Seems like i can stop the obsession, if this concept stopped. For example, i had intrusive thought of two person about 1 month:

1. aunt
2. cousin

Then it change, and for example the target of intrusive thought about 5 month became:

1. sister
2. other cousin
3. other aunt

Uniquely, intrusive thought and any fear about those persons with -any attribute or many models of obsession- "before change", drastically reduced. Including the rationalizing ideas for it, also have no more meanings. Okay next, i have another intrusive thought again only for 1 day:

1. kid on the street i see few years ago even i don't know who is he

Then right now change to this person and don't know why not change again

1. friend who once bullied me at school (even i have other friend that bullied me more than him)

It makes any anxiety from other people listed "before change", already released, ALL. Seemingly fear beaten by more fear. This is why i said, it just get worse. For another my ocd symptom like religious, harm, diseases, and any other form got beaten also because i have more fear obsession. Luckily also affecting my attitude in positive way. If before i so hard to deal with addiction or laziness, now became so easy, because it just small deal comparing to my current fear. Although i will choose become lazy rather than have ocd 

I don't know how to change it or what make me fear one person than another. Few days ago, after i have 3 obsession of people for 5 month. I just tried asked how if i fear this other person, how if i fear this other person, and that's why my obsession change. But when i try again with another person, it doesn't want to change again, damn. It happen subconsciously. I doing this because expecting if i can stop this pattern, may everything can be solved, but still not yet. For this case, fear not work for someone i really love, like with girlfriend or beautiful girl or someone i think this person is so kind.

Sometimes, i thinking why i have this idea or concept or this kind of rationality. And why i care and why i cannot erased by myself and keep stuck on generating fear. Yes, is better to silent and not analyzing those kind of crazy stuff. And not get lost and absorbing on emotions as you said, yep difficult.

In the past 20 days, i make 30 days inner work commitment to dealing with pure o ocd of sexual thought with learning and applying best technique. Until 10 days later, i will end this progress no matter what the result is. And back to normal work. Thank you for help me in this journey bro

Edited July 1, 2020 by Sandy6

[Sandy6]

Yes @mandyjw now i almost have no intrusive thought related with religious anymore. My thought transform, and now care about how horrible if my activity starting when at the same time have dreadful naked thought about certain people i don't want.

Practicing self-love become difficult as "regular" human being when we also need to love the dark side of us. It is like we usually go right instead of left, because normally we want to survive. Intrusive thought force me to go left, but i want to go right. And love need to go up, instead what happen to me is go down because i can't live with the left way. Is very counter-intuitive. I in the process of studying it. But yeah, got telling what is true and experiencing what is true, can make huge difference for dealing with problem like this.

Actually, it is hard to me when i spend last few years of my life as young for find meaning, and developing all strategy to become productive and grow, from low condition. Suddenly i have obstacles like this, life hit me, when i was ready. I feel this is holding my potential, though the same time make me stronger if i can surpass this.

I agree with you. Sometime i thinking, if i stop trying to solve this case, maybe it will step by step disappear itself. About what you said, yes, is like understanding the deep ocean instead from surface. And very difficult for normal people to do so. Is like how is possible i say is good, when what i see is bad and feel worst.

Amazing insight man. Your words of inner voice to force to destroys "my" life, and about wrong-right, love, and see good from the bad, is very precious for me. Thank you!

7 hours ago, mandyjw said:

The OCD you experience is like an inner voice that forces you to destroy your ideas of right and wrong and destroy your attempts to be good and pure. It also forces you to dis-identify from your thoughts. 

We believe that we live in a dualistic world, of opposites and things to avoid. There is right and wrong, pure and dirty, good and bad, etc. To someone with these kinds of thoughts nonduality and spirituality does not seem like a choice at all, it feels as if it's being forced on us, but by the thoughts that we believe are ours and coming from our own heads. This is experienced as something incredibly uncomfortable until we question what we are, what thoughts are and what they really have to do with each other. This kind of contemplation and questioning, along with mediation, mindfulness, consciousness work and self LOVE is the medicine. 

This voice is really attempting to free you from your own suffering. We make the mistake of blaming the impulses and voice FOR the suffering. It's not, it's illuminating it, it's showing our own suffering and resistance to us. It's an amazing gift. 

I know, I KNOW that sounds crazy to a mind that thinks it knows right from wrong and insanity from sanity. But THAT is the crazy part. 

 

From my experience, in OCD we can talk about:

• How to stop reacting
• Dealing with fear  
• Morality
• Source of obsession (like i talk with Roy before)
• Contamination (something you think important to protect in life)

Because my ocd pattern like this:

Something important - Intrusive thought from what you fear the most - How wrong it is (Morality) - Fear (Anxiety) - Reacting / Compulsion 

I have learned some method about how to stop reacting / letting go but i still reacting. You know, if i commit to zero reactions but when i make one reaction, every technique like going to be weak again for this case. I also tried exposure with fear, but idk it's not make any reducement, maybe because i do it alone without therapist or enough skill. When i try to see good from bad / truth, practicing love, accepting, etc it just the bad things showing up from what i see and it's like cannot hold anymore. When trying to change obsession and understanding the root of it, it so difficult. And also hard to didn't care about something that mostly we love for.

I will keep going no matter what : )

Edited July 1, 2020 by Sandy6

[samueldu]

Hi, this is my first post here : )

I got something for you: https://www.healthline.com/health/eft-tapping

I strougle with Pure O OCD for 20+ years. EFT nearly fix me completly.

I know that it make's no sense, but trust me, IT WORKS like magic.

Let me know later,
Samuel

[Sandy6]

Hi@samueldu, Thank you and welcome for spend your first time to reply here. Appreciate your help! 

I ever practice EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) in the past for dealing with addiction, so this is not first time for me. This technique similar with exposure, but with tapping some meridian points on our body. 

May i can use acceptance words like this in intensity rating/level 10:

"Even if doing this important activity while i have sexual thought, it's okay"

Whether is create placebo effect or miraculous energy or whatever we don't know. It works and fix on you. I'll try it myself btw : )

And i feel sorry to you for struggle with pure o ocd in 20+ years, and you can overcame that. Might be you can share what type of pure o ocd you have also tell some of your experience. Including how often you still doing compulsion after some technique or effort applied until ocd reduced. Everyone can have different symptoms and subjective fear, the level of anxiety are different, but one method can possibly apply for different type. Though also many solutions over there. We need to know what works for us.

Sometime i need decide, whether i should 1) don't care about my work/life contaminated status, 2) go to solve the root of obsession, 3) accepting that my life is very bad, 4) pretending that i am right or true because not in control despite what i see is horrible, 5) keep exposuring the fear while not knowing when will end, when there two times; when you in the session or on daily life practice, or 6) going meta with awareness, just see and do nothing, although often experiencing backlash, or 7) just calm the mind with activity and other routine that help to reduce anxiety, 8) any other technique i practice which still make some reaction/compulsion to prevent from negative stuff. And stop making everything complicated so just simply 

Now, i had a technique that can little help. So, i keep going and doing life/work with adversity/compulsions until mind forget and not interested. But trying another practice and researching or questioning like this can making better

 

Cheers 

Edited July 3, 2020 by Sandy6

[Sandy6]

Hi, after 30 days focusing to solve this problem with help and support from my psychology student girl friend. I think "acceptance" is important think we should consider to dealing with OCD. It will make your Letting Go stronger : )

Hope it helps! 

Edited July 9, 2020 by Sandy6

[bejapuskas]

Hello, do you Chrissy Hodges' youtube channel? She is an expert on pure OCD. I don't know about the situation in Southeast Asia, but have you told anyone already? It seems like you've come to the phase where you are not so ashamed of talking openly about your condition, which is great   

[Sandy6]

On 7/17/2020 at 3:11 AM, bejapuskas said:

Hello, do you Chrissy Hodges' youtube channel? She is an expert on pure OCD. I don't know about the situation in Southeast Asia, but have you told anyone already? It seems like you've come to the phase where you are not so ashamed of talking openly about your condition, which is great   

Hi @bejapuskas I watched some of her video. Good informations there aside with other channels and content from some therapist on social media too. 

The situation here is so rare about ocd, maybe many people are hiding to share about it and only some people with little symptoms. I got only few news about people with ocd on my country. Even while i browse keyword 'pure o ocd' using my local language to reach information, it almost not shown unless english, although i live in huge society with large internet information on my language. When i talk to my close friends, they said that they never heard problem like this before. One of my friend ever experience a past symptoms i have, having intrusive thought for few days but not severe like mine.

Basically i feel ashamed too and need courageous, but i must doing this to get support. I should choose between ashamed or not get help / important information. I truly understand can't solve this problem alone. I ever talk with close friends, family, teacher who i trust, and of course talk only on necessary thing or words and can't tell all. 

Next time i have plan to seek psychiatrist, i live on small village, where some professionals are more available on the city, which also challenge to go out in social distancing on current situation. Actually little difficult here, some available options are psychologist, psychiatrist, and some kind of traditional alternative. Even after i have financial problem. On this week i already try traditional alternative.

But yeah i will keep going : ) I aware that i need help, and i must seek that. And choose the best treatment as i can reach. Last week, i try force myself to work and some activity with my current condition, but so hard to me because my ocd get worst last month after target obsession change. After this, i will start new thread here because i think necessary to ask, with more specific question, so your answer guys might useful (after i sort out of course) as "capital" on my next professional treatment.
 
Regards 

Edited July 18, 2020 by Sandy6

[bejapuskas]

@Sandy6  I think the problem is kind of hidden in all places, including Europe, where I live. But it's great that you are trying to put some light on it and aren't giving up on loving yourself. From my experience, people are generally understanding of this issue, but I don't know what your environment is like, never been there, although it would be nice. So just don't do anything crazy, choose the people you seek help from wisely, you will be good  <3

[Sandy6]

@bejapuskas Thanks for such loving words

Yeah, i almost losing all hope but still believing there a sun. Although very difficult right now. Yep, it's not too odd for know globally, on my environment mostly focus on materials improvement. I get support from my several relationship, which is little good. 

I will persue my dream, that i think i capable and deserve. I already doing what most didn't do for years. But this obstacle trying to stop me. I believe i will get healed and continue normal life again and contribute. <3

 

 

[bejapuskas]

@Sandy6  See, if you yourself selflessly shine on others, there will be more than one sun for you. Just walk out of the shadows and look around  There is not a single doubt about you in my mind. 

[Sandy6]

Update:

After 6 month i looking back on this thread, i just try to give solution who have diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder.

So quick story, after i diagnosed with ocd, long story, i work with psychiatrist for medication and psychologist for CBT, but what work on me the most is

ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy, this is work.

Search app called NOCD on Play Store or Apple Store

 You can also search channel: Mark Freeman, OCD and Anxiety by Nathan Peterson, Ali Greymond

Finally, after long journey, i can manage my ocd. If i look my suffering in the past, even want to suicide, it really glad i'm here and finally overcame it. Every problem has a solution, don't lose hope! 

Btw, right now i focus on finding my life purpose after taking Leo's Life Purpose Course:

Help me if you can by reply on that thread.

I hope this information really help you all who suffer with ocd, anxiety, or other neurotic symptoms. For me is effective, rather waste a lot time for other solutions that didn't work. 

The key here: Is let the thought, and don't do any compulsions or try to control them. Let thought be thought, and have no meaning. Keep practicing and see the difference until you healed. The obsession will lose their power. Hope it helps! Thank you 

Glad to share experience here, i made it with ERP and you can too : )

[Nivsch]

On 1.7.2020 at 4:24 PM, Roy said:

Simply notice the thoughts as they arise. Don't "think" anything about them like "this is a bad thought", or "I shouldn't be thinking this". Or absorbing the emotions too much and letting that consume you.

Notice them, and let them go. Watch them drift by in your mind. Don't do anything with them, let then pass.

I got to a conclusion that even this doesnt work if you think about it only technically. Because even to think about this method will bring you ocd thought. And I got to understand that the seperation between thoughts is also artificial and an illusion, and that without more Love you cannot never overcome fear.

But still when I have ocd attack I bring love to it and then it goes away but always comes back.

So maybe the problem is that when I do that i still creating a split between me and a part of myself. But how NOT to do it?? Whats the alternative?

Only with MORE Love&consciousness that will come in the future? Still struggle.

Edit: My intuition now tells me to dettached from even the notion of "love". I tried this, and suddenly felt a higher form of it.

I know that the dettachment wouldnt possible without practicing more love in the first place. Its like an ever fullfiling loop.

So maybe nevertheless Im in the right track... I hope 

Edited January 6, 2022 by Nivsch

[Roy]

5 hours ago, Nivsch said:

But still when I have ocd attack I bring love to it and then it goes away but always comes back.

The methods help address the thoughts when they come up, but I don't know enough about psychology to say how to get at the root of where they are coming from in the first place. It might be some trauma that hasn't been faced, or a simple negative thought pattern that the conclusion is OCD thoughts.