All they desire for , is Love .

[Kross]

Since Leo talked about this in his ''outrageous experiments'' video, I've been observing this and its starting to hit me hard now, seeing how accurate this is. 

Consider Trump, remember how you might have negative feelings about him, the images and audios of him come to mind of constantly lying, shifting blame of his failures on other people, working hard to construct an evil impression of the 'bad guys', talking in an adolescent like manner........but still, you can somehow sense his constant suffering and struggle with so much going against him, even if he is well equipped with all the material luxuries one can have , and feel sympathy for him. All he wants is love, but is sadly too ignorant to seek it in conscious ways......

Then I look at my father's tired looking face, exhausted from life long family, money and emotion related issues . He has an aura around him , which makes it seems that he has given up on the possibility of ever being truly happy, but has a subtle, very subtle hope. A lot of times I feel hatred against him for his anger issues, get frustrated over his ignorance regarding a bunch of stuff forgetting he's not doing any of this consciously. It's obvious that he is not clear about exactly what he's doing and has been doing with his life all the time ....all he unknowingly desires for is Love.... I can SMELL it near him.

I examine myself now, possessing so much fear, constantly trying to improve my habits, constantly trying to get off addictions, constantly worrying about not fucking up my career, constantly trying to advance spiritually, yet having a feeling of NOT KNOWING WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING and what the fuck is going on. The uncertainity, it hurts. Since a long time ago, I desire for something large to hit me, something magnificent to penetrate this life, something magical to unfold, but the journey looks so daunting, when I open my mind to the possibility of possessing true wisdom , it overwhelms me. It certainly seems like, I'm in search of some......Love ? 

Not just for Trump , my father and myself, but this craving for love is, I discover, terrifyingly ubiquitous ....... it's almost as if people want nothing else .

Edited June 14, 2020 by Kross