My brain still kind of likes Findom fetish. How to reset it?

[Javfly33]

I have healed a lot the past several months and in consecuence I no longer felt excited for this fetishes. At this point is obivous that it was a confidence/self-esteem issue.

BUT it seems my brain basically has the same wiring  still sometimes (although this might be a excuse because brains are imaginary) so once in a while I still feel the "urge". So I spent 50 quid in the last weeks in a matter of minutes. Probably not much for most people but for me is a lot.

 It´s the most stupid drug I´ve ever tried. Basically I feel a 2 minute crack-euphoria like when I am sending a girl some money,  and then I masturbate.

After I masturbate I COMPLETELY get back my frontal cortex and I realize, "well, I just threw away [x] money for absolutely nothing".

I probably have to try some psychedelic to reset my brain chemistry, right?. Shadow work has helped but still I feel like a meth-head that can´t control my impulses sometimes. 

Edited June 10, 2020 by Javfly33

[Shiva99]

Do you watch porn? 

[EnlightenmentBlog]

We've all got something weird going on. No judgement. The thing is it can grow into an obsession. I've watched some of these videos and people've sent thousands of dollars. Be careful. 

Find yourself a new release, smth that doesn't involve money. 

[Javfly33]

@Shiva99 @EnlightenmentBlog I know yet it feels the compulsion runs deep from things I haven't healed yet. 

@Shiva99 Maybe 2-3times a week. Too much I know but I use it as an anxiety relief is kind of a bad habit

[Shiva99]

36 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

 

@Shiva99 Maybe 2-3times a week. Too much I know but I use it as an anxiety relief is kind of a bad habit

Quit it. Abstain from masturbation and porn for at least 90 days and see if it helps.

[Oliver Saavedra]

I'd recommend dopamine detox. 

I've noticed my automatic limbic brain easily takes a small instant-gratificatiom activity and then slowly starts scaling it up until I end up unconsciously jerking off to porn for hours.

For real we're highly driven by dopamine, so I really recommend doing a reset to our reward system. Then you start taking your dopamine slowly and consciously.