IJB063

How Long Before a New Habit Becomes Automatic?

19 posts in this topic

How long would you say it takes for a new habit to become automatic?

I'm trying to stick to some new habits and I struggle to keep it up, but I know eventually it'll become second nature, so I was hoping for some rough estimates.

Thanks

 

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In my experience and from what i read, something like 21 days to make it more stable.

But  you have to develop a taste for the habit otherwise in my opinion it won't stick

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@max duewel

11 minutes ago, max duewel said:

In my experience and from what i read, something like 21 days to make it more stable.

But  you have to develop a taste for the habit otherwise in my opinion it won't stick

Yeah, that 21 day idea comes from Maxell Maltz Psycho Cybernetics, I don't find it to be true though

I've been doing some habits for far over 21 days and its still a giant struggle to find the effort to do them daily

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@BjarkeT

38 minutes ago, BjarkeT said:

Some says about 60 days.

I expect its even longer than that

@cnfvm

31 minutes ago, cnfvm said:

depends on your willingness

Depends on consistency 

Though you have to be willing to be consistent 

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@IJB063 Well it seems like you already have a feeling of what it is. Just go with that.

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@IJB063 But does it really matter if it feels like an eternity or that it have to be easy? If the habit is important to you what's important is just keep at it no matter what. No excuses. 

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Just make the commitment to do it every single day, or week. But make it consistent.

And then just do it whether you feel like it or not, like going to the gym or showing up on the dojo mat.

It can also help if you do the habit at a specific time or after another habit like breakfast or dinner or whatever.

Or have a little ritual around it. For example I always make myself a cup of tea before I start journalling.


Plot twist: Waldo finds himself.

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@BjarkeT

Because the reason I'm doing these habits is to make my life easier not harder

But I'm not making excuses, I just want to know when I can start seeing some results

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In my experience it took me 1 1/2 years to fully integrate the habit of standing up early (around 4 to 5 am). During these 1 1/2 years I could hold it for even 3 months without problems, but then it broke away suddenly, so it had to rebuild it. And this happened not just once but several times, so I doubt that 21 days are by any means enough to make something a habit that is second nature. At the threshold of 21 days it gets a little easier, but it isn´t solid. It just gets a little easier.
I think if you are really serious about a habit that you want to integrate for the next 5-10 years then I would say that you probably need 4-6 long-lasting attempts to cement it into your behavior, so it becomes really second nature.
When you´re building a habit, it doesn´t matter how often you got of track, but how often you picked yourself up again. At some point before you know it, after failing over and over again, it just became natural without you even noticing it. At that point congrats! You succeeded !

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7 hours ago, IJB063 said:

@BjarkeT

Because the reason I'm doing these habits is to make my life easier not harder

I feel like if you are expecting life to get easier you are setting yourself for hell of a disappointment. Embrace the difficulty because a life with no difficulty is a boring life to live.

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4 days with a streak.. 

Then streak lost. 

Once again try for 3 days. 

Then again lost streak 

Try again for 4 days. Maintain with motivation. 

Then go for 6 days. 

Streak broken

Next streak is longer. 

It's this way. 

One step forward two step back 

Two step forward three step back

Three step forward four step back 

Three step forward three step back 

Three step forward two step back 

Three step forward one step back 

Four step forward then momentum 

There are no specific days, just the way you maintain streaks and get into final momentum. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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I dont think ever. ? thats what i experienced. Only habit i have after 4 years of self actualization mental masturbation is meditation. I have been doing it consistently for 4yrs but that to cannot practice on a fixed time or for fixed hours. That to i think was a result of my childhood where i meditated.

False self is so much identified with old habits that if tried to change there will be resistence and ego backslash it will go back to homeostasis. Maybe you can bring a new habit after lot of failures like many months of constant failure to stick with a habit. Or Break the false self altogether and make a new false self which you desire and shift to it for that i think psych will help. 

Edited by Harikrishnan

I will be waiting here, For your silence to break, For your soul to shake,              For your love to wake! Rumi

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When I started meditation I did it for 330 days straight. There was almost no adaptation time.

I had a very good reason and vision to do it though. I was heavily suffering from anxiety and depression. It wasn't easy but I had a great deal of motivation because of the vision I had for myself as someone with little anxiety and depression.

So, it stuck(?) in no time.

Big(really big) gap between my vision and my current situation generated motivation.

It depends on how much you want to have the results and how much you enjoy the process.

I also have a great deal of habits that I struggle to integrate. I can't see the final result and they're boring to do. These are taking an eternity to be integrated (example: exercise during quarantine). I'm thinking oh, I'm just going to exercise after quarantine ends. And coming up with excuses. The real shit is that I don't see how it would help me if I did it now.

Lol, this motivated me.

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i actually like these more practical threads - somehow i had the feeling they have gotten really rare over the time.

or maybe they had always been and i was just not seeing them anymore.

i get always distracted from implementing habits because focus/prioritizing  actually means leaving everything else unattended and i am a person who sometimes has difficulties with either or.  as habits are oftentimes not the favored choice but the choice of reasoning of course there is an internal dissonance.

i guess building up to understanding the need for one specific habit and a constant reminder system, a motivation strategy and positive affirmations towards that one habit could be supportive. i‘m still not sure about time scheduling of habits, sometimes that makes sense, too. also being forgiving about skipping once and showing up for oneself either way is a tactic which at least prevents you from giving up after backlashes.

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3 hours ago, remember said:

i actually like these more practical threads - somehow i had the feeling they have gotten really rare over the time.

 

I guess it is because it became boring. There is material for 1mio hours I guess. It is like watching paint dry. Maybe we need some new angle to make habits sexy again or at all. James Altucher has a ideas habit. He writes down everyday 10 ideas. 

It seems the trick to produce these ideas is to connect things that normally are not connected. Let's say one does meditation. There are endless options how you can combine meditation with some different elements. You can citate a poem while meditating. You can do all kinds of mantra while meditating. Or you can integrate micro meditations in your activities. 

To get back to the main question it depends. Some people stop smoking when the doctor says he may die very soon if he doesn't stop. If it depends on survival some habits become a priority. If a habit is on priority level 15 then it might never be integrated. I think in the Joe Rogan Podcast there was Guy Ritchie he did I think Joga for 1 year but it just didn't work for him. I guess it went against other priorities.


 

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After 1 week the habit start spinning. After 2 weeks its already getting momentum. After 4 week the habit is working automatic. After 2 more months, the habit is strong. After 6 months, the habit is your karma. After one year, the habit is deeply ingrained. 

Try doing 1 habit for 1 week and you will see it already starts working. Not after 1 month. Thats the end result. 


Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. - Jeremiah 33:3

https://open.spotify.com/track/4V0rRwRqhFPxSJb40XmKA1?si=lNN5hNRPTxi6zNzzi9gFqw&utm_source=copy-link

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