Living in a world of projection

[LearningPodo]

Hey guys, so I'm in college but I feel like I'm living in a reality filled with projections from my mind. I feel like behind every little interaction and whatnot there is underlying fear, doubt, and judgement in the back of my mind. This definitely stems from the trauma I've accumulated throughout my childhood and high school years. I'm getting frustrated because I try so hard with self improvement to change my life from a place of pain and darkness to where I want it to go, but it seems so difficult. 

This doesn't happen when, say, I'm at a different country, because I don't associate my dealings with others with any pain or inferiority. But in the U.S. where I grew up I see it everywhere.

I really want to be able to live like how I was when I was a child. To see the world as it is without all this baggage that I've accumulated. How do you think I can best achieve this sort of growth?

[allislove]

Spiritual practices ?

[remember]

@LearningPodo what happens if you are in another country? why is it different? did you ever move within the us? maybe in another state it would already be different. a change of environment allows you to reinvent yourself. a change of environment is sometimes like leaving expectations behind. its difficult to become a better version of yourself if yourself or others expect you to be who you are or were. it also can be the opposite, both are connected to clinging. if you think it might heal you to move, then i would try that approach first.

Edited June 8, 2020 by remember

[universe]

Very good that you realize all this fear and judgement when it comes up! This is already half the way. Try to get more clear on that. What was the traumatic event in the past and what did you already try to heal yourself from it? You dont need to answer here, just you have to be more specific about it yourself.

When you have it, watch this video. He explains how to release the specific emotions that are stuck inside your body. Do the technique he explains over the next weeks. Over and over again. Go deeper anytime. You can do sessions of 1-2 hours a time if you get very good.

 

 

[Oliver Saavedra]

The more aware you become, the more you realize all the baggage you have. 

We all have a LOT to work on, 20+ years of things we experienced left a lot of baggage. 

It's a blessing that you now notice it, yes it can be overwhelming, but its way better than not noticing it.

My advice: pick one thing about yourself and work on it, feel it, question it, understand it, and learn about it from different perspectives, then act on it and evolve through it. 

Once you're done with the first one, move on to the next, and then to the next, and so on. 

Give your personal development inner-work a place in your life, because probably you'll be balancing other aspects of your life. But give yourself space and time for working on yourself. 

Also be patient, you'll probably need another 20 years to work on all of it, so don't rush and try to fix all in one year for it is impossible. Just maintain the intention to keep working on yourself. Get excited for lifelong learning and evolving. Enjoy the ride. 

Much Love ❤️