LSD Trip Report 500ug: The Dance of Nonduality

[legendary]

Last night I had an intense solo tripping experience. The idea was to do a medium dose of LSD on an empty stomach, in absolute darkness.

Dose: 500ug on a 24 hour fast

Setting: At night, complete darkness  + sleeping mask

Intent:

• Forgiveness and letting go
• Understand emotional mastery
• Explore how I can live more consciously

Trip Experience:

Initial Paranoia:

• After about 30 minutes, I started experiencing mild effects and an initial paranoia set in, along with an intense desire to eat something (I didn't do it since it tends to blunt the intensity of the trip).

Forgiving and letting-go exercise:

• I worked through the "How to forgive someone who hurt you" exercise and working on the meditation.
• I noticed how my heart is still not open and how much resistance I have to feel emotions. This is a significant sticking point for me.
• After the exercise, I contemplated for a while. Soon after that, the peak of the trip hit.

Bilateral Symmetry:

• This is a common theme for me. As soon as I surrender and let go, my body naturally starts doing the bilateral symmetry yoga (which Martin Ball describes).
• I even tried to stay centered and contemplate further, but the body wanted to open up and move.
• During this, I can observe when the ego/self-talk comes in since an abrupt break in symmetry accompanies that.
• When the body is moving fluidly, "I" am entirely gone. It's as if the body is working through some residue energy.
• There was also some shaking and some vibrating.

The Bee:

• I started working on letting go and surrendering my fears.
• Right then, a small bee came buzzing in and sat right next to me. This was annoying since I used to be afraid of bees as a child.
• What are the chances that a bee would come in and land in front of me at a time when I'm working on surrendering my fears (I haven't seen a bee in months)? This has to be the Universe testing me.
• I sat there, observing my impulse to swat that bee or go somewhere else, but I just sat there, letting go. I realized that all my insights are useless unless I can put them to use.

The Buddhabrot:

• During the bilateral symmetry, a track started playing on YouTube, which had the thumbnail of the Buddhabrot from the movie "Inner Worlds, Outer Worlds".
• I saw it, and it hit me hard. I was looking at Absolute Infinity!
• Contained in this picture are infinite patterns, all of which exist all at once. An observer can, however, focus on a specific pattern and create a narrative by changing his/her focus over time. But all of it exists simultaneously, at once.
• I stared at this fractal for an hour, during which, I saw two hands moving in bilateral symmetry, I saw a jester laughing, I saw a dragon guarding a treasure. I saw the light and shadow creating a play of good and evil. I saw a Goddess, I saw the Buddha figure, and I eventually saw two eyes staring back at me in the middle of the image. I realized I was literally looking at God! I stared at those two eyes as an entire universe sprawled out of nowhere and then vanished back into the infinite fractal. I was moved beyond words.
• When I see this figure now, I'm hardly able to see anything, but I will look at it again when I trip.

Purging:

• One consequence of my energetic opening was my body wanting to throw up and purge.
• I had nothing in my system, but that didn't stop my body from feeling nauseous and wanting to throw up.
• This correlated well with my emotional state of wanting to let go of my past blockages and old narratives.
• One big realization is that I am normally heavily detached from my body and am energetically quite closed.

Meditation + more Bilateral symmetry:

• I meditated for a bit, and then the body wanted to move again. Eventually, it grew tired, and I  went back to just contemplating.

Lessons:

• With each trip, I understand how little I embody these insights in day to day life.
• Breath: After the purging, I can see that my breath is deeper, and I can see the energy move in and out of my gut better. For me, my degree of consciousness and embodiment is directly proportional to how deeply and openly I breathe.
• I understand Absolute Infinity in a much deeper way than I used to.
• 36-hour Fast was an excellent choice for this trip because it made it more potent. I will continue to do that in the future.
• Complete darkness also helped the trip, and I will continue tripping at night.

Further:

• More fasting + Tripping
• I still cannot come to grips with the duality between God and Myself. I understand how I create my reality, but I'd be lying if I say that I understand God fully.
• Work on embodiment
• 5-MeO-DMT: It's been 18 months since I smoked 5-MeO. I still don't feel like I'm ready to take the plunge (or should I say the plug) yet. I need to work through some more stuff before I'm able to.

[astrokeen]

@legendary , thanks for this. It is very interesting. 

A couple of comments: 500ug seems like a high dose especially after fasting., I thought a medium dose would be 300ug. Did you gradually build up to 500ug over time? Also, have you tried LSD while listening to music with shades on and did you find it enhanced your experience? I did recently and found it much easier to let go. The music, a psychedelic playlist, was so beautiful that I forgot to be anxious.

Edited June 7, 2020 by astrokeen

[Leo Gura]

14 minutes ago, legendary said:

The idea was to do a medium dose of LSD

Dose: 500ug on a 24 hour fast

Lol

Nice work! Take time to integrate.

[legendary]

17 minutes ago, astrokeen said:

500ug seems like a high dose especially after fasting., I thought a medium dose would be 300ug. Did you gradually build up to 500ug over time?

Yes, my previous trips were 300ug and 350ug. I say medium because I have a natural tolerance to psychedelics and all drugs in general.

19 minutes ago, astrokeen said:

Also, have you tried LSD while listening to music with shades on

I did the bilateral symmetry with psychedelic music. It helps immensely. I've used shades during the daytime trips, but it didn't make much of a difference for me.

[Leo Gura]

@legendary I have a tip for you. Next time instead of looking outward at some object, look inward as your self. Recognize the God looking out your eyes at all objects.

[legendary]

@Leo Gura thanks

[legendary]

1 hour ago, legendary said:

The Buddhabrot

https://medium.com/@TheDreamWeaver/hidden-images-discovered-within-the-mandelbrot-equation-a-k-a-the-thumbprint-of-god-55907f406d0c

http://www.misterx.ca/Mandelbrot_Set---Thumb_Print_of_God.html

[Espaim]

Holy shit. You are a monster on handling 500 ug. 125 ug already messed my mind a great deal.

Good job!

[Nak Khid]

1 hour ago, legendary said:

With each trip, I understand how little I embody these insights in day to day life.

so is that an observation that the insights are innately special experiences not applicable to everyday life 
or do you intend to try to embody them more in your everyday life? 

[legendary]

13 hours ago, Espaim said:

Holy shit. You are a monster on handling 500 ug. 125 ug already messed my mind a great deal.

 

To be honest I didn't cross the edge of insanity on 500ug. That's why I'm afraid of 5-MeO, which makes me disappear, literally.

12 hours ago, Nak Khid said:

do you intend to try to embody them more in your everyday life? 

Yes, at least some of them. Like how my breath doesn't touch and energise all parts of my body, unconscious tendencies, etc.

[Espaim]

@legendary I'm probably just being dramatic hahaha

I say the same thing after every psychedelic experience. I'm always blown away no matter the dose.

[Grateful Dead]

thanks for the report! I like how you structured it like a real german lol

did you have tolerance or no?

[Corpus]

2 hours ago, legendary said:

 That's why I'm afraid of 5-MeO, which makes me disappear, literally.

 

Surely that is a reason to have no fear?

[legendary]

3 hours ago, Espaim said:

I'm probably just being dramatic hahaha

I understand

3 hours ago, acidgoofy said:

thanks for the report! I like how you structured it like a real german lol

did you have tolerance or no?

lol. I didn't have tolerance from a recent trip. But in general, I need higher doses for similar effect compared to most people.

2 hours ago, Corpus said:

Surely that is a reason to have no fear?

Both my 5-MeO trips have looked like exorcisms to the observer. It just tends to hit me hard, even when plugged. But that was 18 months ago. I might want to test the waters again.

LSD was much smoother. The bilateral symmetry tends to suggest that I was energetically and Nonduality-wise open, but no exorcism.

[SamueLSD]

On 08/06/2020 at 8:49 AM, legendary said:

(I didn't do it since it tends to blunt the intensity of the trip)

I completely disagree. Acid is not digested. 

On 08/06/2020 at 8:49 AM, legendary said:

Dose: 500ug on a 24 hour fast

Was that 4 125ug tabs? 

[legendary]

@SamueLSD it has been my experience that eating after the trip starts blunts the depth I'm able to reach.

It was 2 and a half tabs of 200ug each.

[SamueLSD]

@legendary Since you thought it was a mild trip, it was probably incorrectly dosed. Tabs are rarely actually 200ug. 

You'd be fine taking more next time

[Leo Gura]

14 minutes ago, SamueLSD said:

You'd be fine taking more next time

Careful, children...

Don't shoot out your 3rd eye

[SamueLSD]

@Leo Gura Impossible! 

[legendary]

@SamueLSD I didn't think it was mild, but a medium dose. To be honest I don't call it a high dose unless it causes an exorcism. Although it may be lesser than 200 ug per tab.

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Careful, children...

Don't shoot out your 3rd eye

Lol ?