Co-existing Success And Happiness

[Pablo Neirotti]

The last video by Leo, You're Not Happy Because You Don't Really Want To Be, came in timely as this touched on some of the things I've been dealing with for the past few weeks.

 

It all started after I released my videogame, a never ending 2.5 years long project, finally published.

For almost 3 years, I lived by postponing "true" happiness to "once I release my game" (we all know how this works). Once released, besides being exhausted to the point I was not even able to enjoy the launch, it naturally left the void we all would predict it did.

Not only because true happiness wasn't around the corner of X, but also because that was my life for almost 3 years. It was quite an abrupt end to what I've been doing morning, evening and night.

 

Fortunately I've been doing self-improvement work since the last 10 months or so (without counting what I've been figuring out on my own, before I knew this had a name), and very quickly started to dig in deeper into how to just be happy, now. This was a couple months ago.

Just as I suspected, great example by Leo btw, you can be happy by just living in a box. The idea of detaching myself from everything I enjoy sounds harsh, but I've done it with so many things already, I do see it as a possibility.

 

Which brings us to the main point on this post. I am questioning why would I wanna be successful in my endeavors, if all of this is for nothing? I can be happy without it. Any progress gets wiped once I die. Any impact on humanity I can make will get lost or wiped out eventually.

Question & TL;DR: Why should I attempt to do great things if, not only it is all for nothing in the end, but now ALSO means that won't even bring me happiness? Why bother? (clearly I do want to bother, but something is not clicking right now)

 

I would highly appreciate your insights. Thank you for your time!

Edited July 18, 2016 by Pablo Neirotti

[Mal]

11 minutes ago, Pablo Neirotti said:

Which brings us to the main point on this post. I am questioning why would I wanna be successful in my endeavors, if all of this is for nothing? I can be happy without it. Any progress gets wiped once I die. Any impact on humanity I can make will get lost or wiped out eventually.

Question & TL;DR: Why should I attempt to do great things if, not only it is all for nothing in the end, but now ALSO means that won't even bring me happiness? Why bother? (clearly I do want to bother, but something is not clicking right now)

You have been lied to.  We all have.  We're conditioned since birth to work and contribute to society and we are sold the idea that the 'reward' for our efforts is we will 'become happy'.

This is a scam, reality does not work this way.

Now you know, intellectually, that worldly success will not lead to happiness, you can begin on your journey to find true happiness. It's better to be on the first rung of the right ladder than be halfway up the wrong ladder.  The wrong ladder is what we have been taught about conventional life.

Assuming that this is something you want.  Not everybody wants happiness, they want success, sex, comforts, ease, avoidance of pain.  Hardly anybody wants to really break out of their conditioned beliefs, because that is ultimately hard to do if one is still clinging to this conventional existence.

 

Edited July 18, 2016 by Mal

[Pablo Neirotti]

Hi @Mal! Thank you for the response. We are on the same page.

Although my biggest concern right now is - what do I do with my career / goals / success? Is none of that worth working towards? Should I be a happy bum on the street?

[Mal]

10 minutes ago, Pablo Neirotti said:

Hi @Mal! Thank you for the response. We are on the same page.

Although my biggest concern right now is - what do I do with my career / goals / success? Is none of that worth working towards? Should I be a happy bum on the street?

You have to eat, don't you?

I still work, enjoy it, enjoy the people, the projects, I get a rush from my work, but I don't have this expectation that it's going to add anything, or give me what I'm expecting from it.

From this vantage point I'm actually better at what I do, less chance of burnout too 

It's a subtle shift from being dependent on external gratification, to being the creator of my life.  

 

Edited July 18, 2016 by Mal

[Telepresent]

@Pablo Neirotti I've been wrestling with similar issues: I'm in the third quarter of an immensely long and difficult project, which has been a huge emotional burden and now realise I first went into it (three years ago) because I thought it would make me important and special and clever and blah blah blah.  

However, it's also in a field I love, and I've often said to people that if I was given all the money in the world, I would still want to work in this area, simply because it fascinates me and I find so much beauty in it.

So now I'm trying to orient my exit from this project so that I'll still be working in this field (as Mal says, got to eat!) but not nearly with such hyper-intensity, or such ego-driven goals in mind.  Just to work in it to play with it, explore it, and enjoy the opportunity to do so while I'm here.  Yeah, there's ultimately no point to it: that doesn't mean that it can't be enjoyed while it's happening!

[J. M. Wigglesworth]

1 hour ago, Pablo Neirotti said:

Question & TL;DR: Why should I attempt to do great things if, not only it is all for nothing in the end, but now ALSO means that won't even bring me happiness? Why bother? (clearly I do want to bother, but something is not clicking right now)

 

Here's an interesting exercise: The inverse question.

Why shouldn't you? If you can be happy just like that, does it even matter that you're working? In Eckhart Tolle's New Earth there is this concept called the three modalities of awakened doing and one of the is joy. 

Leo tells you that you can be happy in a box and, in true green-eggs-and-ham-style, you can be happy anywhere. 

 

Also you ask why you should attempt anything in the end if it is only fleeting. Guess what? Happiness is EPHEMERAL! Guess what else? There is literally no meaning to anything you do unless you chose to instill it with some meaning. Life is a sandbox and you should appreciate it as it is. 

What I do is enjoy the fact that I'm in a short human experience and try to live it as if it were an adventure. What's happening to us right now, this  is pretty unique and it'll only be here for so long: my only suggestion would be that you "squeeze deeply the marrow of life", as Thoreau said. Or fuck it all and pursue enlightenment/self-realization. Two perfectly valid options and neither are mutually exclusive. Make your move @Pablo Neirotti   

[Pablo Neirotti]

Hey guys! Thank you all for your responses. They have all been very insightful.

@Mal: I do have to eat! Good point :P.

@Telepresent: I would also do what I do even if I suddenly had millions of dollars (probably just do it with more budget!). And I definitely am taking "such ego-driven goals in mind" - this was a big issue (it still is, though lesser) back when I started this project.

@J. M. Wigglesworth: You have a funny name for a cat. But anyways, I get tons of joys just doing what I do. I sometimes forget to experience it and instead attach happiness to the termination. Need to work more on that. Lastly: does it make sense to pursue inner happiness while also being an entrepreneur?

Edited July 18, 2016 by Pablo Neirotti

[J. M. Wigglesworth]

57 minutes ago, Pablo Neirotti said:

Does it make sense to pursue inner happiness while also being an entrepreneur?

Absolutely. Why wouldn't a deep emotional reserve be of use to someone who is hard at work day in and out? 

[Pablo Neirotti]

@J. M. Wigglesworth Sounds about right. Thanks dude!

[Fishy]

I would try to just drop all these thoughts about being happy and just do what feels natural and be aware what happens. You really complicate it