IT'S JUST A STORY!!!

[billiesimon]

Now I understand why we love ignorance and living in autopilot.

 

This is too much.

We need to escape into fantasyland, because our deep existential nature is TOO MUCH!!!!

 

It's just a story!!! My life is just a story!!! A screenplay!!!

 

I am not the movie character, I AM and that's it!!!

I need the story because the story gives me contrast, it gives me the ILLUSION of separation in order for me to OBSERVE MYSELF!!!!

 

I am IGNORANT about my own existential nature, thus I unconsciously project A STORY, a human life, to find myself and to discover my nature.

 

There's no meditation, no self inquiry and no psychedelics.

 

IT'S ALL A STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am already awakened, but this is also a HUGE PARADOX because I realize that the story is necessary for me to awaken,

 

I AM BOTH AWAKENED AND ASLEEP!!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO PROCESS WITH HUMAN LOGIC!!!!!!

 

Humans are just a story.

Being male is just a story.

Chakras are just a story.

@Leo Gura is just a story!!! this one actually made me feel REALLY ALONE, because I have decided my own awakening WITHOUT my conscious consent!!!!

This is both awesome and HORRIBLE!!!! Because now I can feel how I am all alone, without answers, without another one beside me, and in this eternal seeking forever. Yet I don't want to get back to ignorance, because I feel free, I feel happier, I feel like now I am authentic. 

 

But..... everything is collapsing.

 

It's just a story........... a movie......... perfectly written.

 

My ego is so sad and depressed now.

 

 

It's just a story. It's just a story.

 

The only reason to exist is to find that "WHY?".

Why?

I AM here to look for that why.

But this life is just a story.

I was never unconscious. The past does not exist. Yet I was unconscious. And yet I've always been awake. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Forestluv]

Very nice. This opens up expansive areas to explore creative, imaginative potential. 

[Inliytened1]

@billiesimon welcome home

 

[SoonHei]

1 hour ago, billiesimon said:

Now I understand why we love ignorance and living in autopilot.

 

This is too much.

We need to escape into fantasyland, because our deep existential nature is TOO MUCH!!!!

 

It's just a story!!! My life is just a story!!! A screenplay!!!

 

I am not the movie character, I AM and that's it!!!

I need the story because the story gives me contrast, it gives me the ILLUSION of separation in order for me to OBSERVE MYSELF!!!!

 

I am IGNORANT about my own existential nature, thus I unconsciously project A STORY, a human life, to find myself and to discover my nature.

 

There's no meditation, no self inquiry and no psychedelics.

 

IT'S ALL A STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am already awakened, but this is also a HUGE PARADOX because I realize that the story is necessary for me to awaken,

 

I AM BOTH AWAKENED AND ASLEEP!!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO PROCESS WITH HUMAN LOGIC!!!!!!

 

Humans are just a story.

Being male is just a story.

Chakras are just a story.

@Leo Gura is just a story!!! this one actually made me feel REALLY ALONE, because I have decided my own awakening WITHOUT my conscious consent!!!!

This is both awesome and HORRIBLE!!!! Because now I can feel how I am all alone, without answers, without another one beside me, and in this eternal seeking forever. Yet I don't want to get back to ignorance, because I feel free, I feel happier, I feel like now I am authentic. 

 

But..... everything is collapsing.

 

It's just a story........... a movie......... perfectly written.

 

My ego is so sad and depressed now.

 

 

It's just a story. It's just a story.

 

The only reason to exist is to find that "WHY?".

Why?

I AM here to look for that why.

But this life is just a story.

I was never unconscious. The past does not exist. Yet I was unconscious. And yet I've always been awake. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

^^^

Just a story

?

[SamueLSD]

1 hour ago, billiesimon said:

I need the story because the story gives me contrast, it gives me the ILLUSION of separation in order for me to OBSERVE MYSELF!!!!

Could you elaborate on this?

[Jacobsrw]

2 hours ago, billiesimon said:

Now I understand why we love ignorance and living in autopilot.

 

This is too much.

We need to escape into fantasyland, because our deep existential nature is TOO MUCH!!!!

 

It's just a story!!! My life is just a story!!! A screenplay!!!

 

I am not the movie character, I AM and that's it!!!

I need the story because the story gives me contrast, it gives me the ILLUSION of separation in order for me to OBSERVE MYSELF!!!!

 

I am IGNORANT about my own existential nature, thus I unconsciously project A STORY, a human life, to find myself and to discover my nature.

 

There's no meditation, no self inquiry and no psychedelics.

 

IT'S ALL A STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am already awakened, but this is also a HUGE PARADOX because I realize that the story is necessary for me to awaken,

 

I AM BOTH AWAKENED AND ASLEEP!!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO PROCESS WITH HUMAN LOGIC!!!!!!

 

Humans are just a story.

Being male is just a story.

Chakras are just a story.

@Leo Gura is just a story!!! this one actually made me feel REALLY ALONE, because I have decided my own awakening WITHOUT my conscious consent!!!!

This is both awesome and HORRIBLE!!!! Because now I can feel how I am all alone, without answers, without another one beside me, and in this eternal seeking forever. Yet I don't want to get back to ignorance, because I feel free, I feel happier, I feel like now I am authentic. 

 

But..... everything is collapsing.

 

It's just a story........... a movie......... perfectly written.

 

My ego is so sad and depressed now.

 

 

It's just a story. It's just a story.

 

The only reason to exist is to find that "WHY?".

Why?

I AM here to look for that why.

But this life is just a story.

I was never unconscious. The past does not exist. Yet I was unconscious. And yet I've always been awake. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly right my friend. Some months back I had a mystical experience that illuminated this very realisation to me. It left me in fits of laughter I could not comprehend. Existence is so irreducible simple had we just see it for what it is, but this is far too threatening for the ego-mind.

The mind cannot help but to create dualities to entertain itself. It cannot exist without a story. Even just heading to the fridge must pertain to a story. I must get there to feed the “me”, the “me” is in need of comfort etc. It all collapses when the mind is seen for the utter amusement park it has constructed.

Without story, the mind and self dissolve. No story = no context from which to place the “me”.

Edited June 7, 2020 by Jacobsrw

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, billiesimon said:

Why?

I AM here to look for that why.

[Kalki Avatar]

Unconsciousness is conciousness just as everything else in existence. There's no way you can go truly "unconscious" if you are consciousness. The word says it self, on-conscious. 

We are just pretending being asleep. 

Edited June 7, 2020 by Kalki Avatar

[John Iverson]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

LOVE

[remember]

4 hours ago, billiesimon said:

Chakras are just a story.

no - chakras are experiencable, sth existing without the story. male/female is second order.

[WaveInTheOcean]

Quote

 

It's just a story!!! My life is just a story!!! A screenplay!!!

I am not the movie character, I AM and that's it!!!

I need the story because the story gives me contrast, it gives me the ILLUSION of separation in order for me to OBSERVE MYSELF!!!!

I am IGNORANT about my own existential nature, thus I unconsciously project A STORY, a human life, to find myself and to discover my nature.

There's no meditation, no self inquiry and no psychedelics.

IT'S ALL A STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am already awakened, but this is also a HUGE PARADOX because I realize that the story is necessary for me to awaken,

I AM BOTH AWAKENED AND ASLEEP!!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO PROCESS WITH HUMAN LOGIC!!!!!!"

 

Well put my friend. If you don't consider yourself already awakened, you at least seem very attuned to me. Get in that deep meditation or take a psychedelic and experience that raw sweet, shocking Absolute-Loving experience of becoming Oneness / I am'ness. In other words experience your true self. bless you <3

EDIT:

"This is both awesome and HORRIBLE!!!! Because now I can feel how I am all alone, without answers, without another one beside me, and in this eternal seeking forever. Yet I don't want to get back to ignorance, because I feel free, I feel happier, I feel like now I am authentic. 

My ego is so sad and depressed now."

Yes okay. You are "not there '100%' yet". What basically needs to happen is a complete 'let-go' of that imaginary ego of yours:D And that takes Love. So practice some Love and then 'fully get it'/let go/integrate it during a peak mystical experience (psychedelics help).

I fully understand what you mean when you say that it is both awesome and horrible. When you fully get there, awesome and horrible will be identical though. No difference. It just is. And yet it is Amazing beyond words.

The feeling of lonliness and feeling of have to seek forever are projections of your ego/your fear of letting go.

I'm awake and I don't feel lonely. Quite the contrary. I feel connected to my environment (nature, things, my table, my friends, my body, etc.) in a so beautiful way I ve never felt pre-awakening.

It's all me. Yet I don't cling to anything. I know that I don't know who I am.
'self' and 'other' are the same. 
So when my friend asks me if I want to go to the beach, it is myself asking myself if I want to go to the beach. I didn't think about going to the beach, I didn't know I wanted to go to the beach. You see how beautiful this is? You do still have 'others' beside you. It's just that 'others' is IDENTICAL to You.  hahaha <3

Your ego is sad and depressed. Yes, this is natural in the beginning when getting glimpses of awakening. You need to get deeper glimpses and let that ego fully let go. Practice Self-Love.

Bless you. One advice to you: watch/listen to the first 44 minutes of this A. Watts talk. Most profound talk in youtube, no kidding:-) 

 
 

Edited June 7, 2020 by WaveInTheOcean

[billiesimon]

1 hour ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

Well put my friend. If you don't consider yourself already awakened, you at least seem very attuned to me. Get in that deep meditation or take a psychedelic and experience that raw sweet, shocking Absolute-Loving experience of becoming Oneness / I am'ness. In other words experience your true self. bless you <3

EDIT:

"This is both awesome and HORRIBLE!!!! Because now I can feel how I am all alone, without answers, without another one beside me, and in this eternal seeking forever. Yet I don't want to get back to ignorance, because I feel free, I feel happier, I feel like now I am authentic. 

My ego is so sad and depressed now."

Yes okay. You are "not there '100%' yet". What basically needs to happen is a complete 'let-go' of that imaginary ego of yours:D And that takes Love. So practice some Love and then 'fully get it'/let go/integrate it during a peak mystical experience (psychedelics help).

I fully understand what you mean when you say that it is both awesome and horrible. When you fully get there, awesome and horrible will be identical though. No difference. It just is. And yet it is Amazing beyond words.

The feeling of lonliness and feeling of have to seek forever are projections of your ego/your fear of letting go.

I'm awake and I don't feel lonely. Quite the contrary. I feel connected to my environment (nature, things, my table, my friends, my body, etc.) in a so beautiful way I ve never felt pre-awakening.

It's all me. Yet I don't cling to anything. I know that I don't know who I am.
'self' and 'other' are the same. 
So when my friend asks me if I want to go to the beach, it is myself asking myself if I want to go to the beach. I didn't think about going to the beach, I didn't know I wanted to go to the beach. You see how beautiful this is? You do still have 'others' beside you. It's just that 'others' is IDENTICAL to You.  hahaha <3

Your ego is sad and depressed. Yes, this is natural in the beginning when getting glimpses of awakening. You need to get deeper glimpses and let that ego fully let go. Practice Self-Love.

Bless you. One advice to you: watch/listen to the first 44 minutes of this A. Watts talk. Most profound talk in youtube, no kidding:-) 

 
 

Thanks for the detailed reply

I am partially awake. I have had two glimpses of awakening so far. But they feep very radical. I need to dissolve and reintegrate my identity into oneness and make peace with it. 

 

What about "physical life" after full awakening? Does it become more abundant and positive, or does it remain the same + being awake? 

From what I feel, human life should become radically more positive and fulfilling after the integration. 

[Javfly33]

It´s frightening, yet profoundly liberating at the same time.

I guess that´s why they call it "liberation". 

[billiesimon]

8 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

Very nice. This opens up expansive areas to explore creative, imaginative potential. 

What do you mean with imaginative potential?

[billiesimon]

7 hours ago, SamueLSD said:

Could you elaborate on this?

Because We are just all-there-is condensed in an endless eternal ocean of the same substance (all and nothing). 

We can't observe ourselves in this original state, so We create a projection, a movie, a story, because by observing this story We can start to SEE that existence exists. And then we start to ask "why?" "what is this?" etc.... If we remain in a condensed, oneness state, we can't observe and recognize what we are. It's like some kind of total peaceful sleep where you don't even realize that you exist because you are One and totally at peace and still.

Edited June 7, 2020 by billiesimon

[remember]

13 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

And then we start to ask "why?" "what is this?" etc.... If we remain in a condensed, oneness state, we can't observe and recognize what we are. It's like some kind of total peaceful sleep where you don't even realize that you exist because you are One and totally at peace and still.

we don’t start to ask this question we don’t ask any questions. questions arise from themselves. its not you asking a question it’s a question asking you.

[mandyjw]

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world (don't you dare close your eyes)
A hundred thousand things to see (hold your breath, it gets better)
I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be
A whole new world
With new horizons to pursue
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world (a whole new world)
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us, "No"
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming
A whole new world (every turn, a surprise)
With new horizons to pursue (every moment, red-letter)
I'll chase them anywhere, there's time to spare
And then we're home (there's time to spare)
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world (a whole new world)
That's where we'll be (that's where we'll be)
A thrilling chase (a wondrous place)
For you and me

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, billiesimon said:

 I need to dissolve and reintegrate my identity into oneness and make peace with it.

There’s no thing to integrate. Transcend “identity” by noticing you’re continuing a story about it. ‘It’s’ not ‘there’.

1 hour ago, billiesimon said:

What about "physical life" after full awakening?

‘It’s’ not ‘there’. 

1 hour ago, billiesimon said:

Does it become more abundant and positive, or does it remain the same + being awake? 

From what I feel, human life should become radically more positive and fulfilling after the integration

Always up to you. You’re not moving, you’re appearing as “everything else”, and making it seem like you’re a thing that moves, walks, talks, thinks, etc. All is attracted. Always up to you. 

[allislove]

Why? It's simply to ❤️.

[billiesimon]

29 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world (don't you dare close your eyes)
A hundred thousand things to see (hold your breath, it gets better)
I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be
A whole new world
With new horizons to pursue
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world (a whole new world)
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us, "No"
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming
A whole new world (every turn, a surprise)
With new horizons to pursue (every moment, red-letter)
I'll chase them anywhere, there's time to spare
And then we're home (there's time to spare)
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world (a whole new world)
That's where we'll be (that's where we'll be)
A thrilling chase (a wondrous place)
For you and me

Yeah, beautiful piece of art  

???