Emotionally Abusive Family Guidance

[TheUniverseIsLove]

I am at a loss. 

For financial and medical reasons I Moved back in with my parents.

They care for me deeply, and though I do have good moments with them, they are VERY emotionally abusive and manipulative. 

The overall yelling atomosphere is frequent and loud and they frequently  cuss, insult, accuse, belittle, judge etc.

Once my mom even yelled at me to stop “pussy-footing” when I refused to engage in a yelling match. 

They tell things to provoke and be mean. 

I gladly listen to their thoughts, but I do not accept being screamed at. 

My mom will yell at me and scream “I can scream at you, simply because I want to”

They also invade my personal space. 

I get interrupted while meditating frequently. I mediate in my own room and they shout my name until I answer... even when they know I am meditating. Sometimes they even just come in. 

They also support trump and have Fox News on often. 

I treat all of it as a growth opportunity, and as a collective understanding of love,  and as a way to grow my patience....

but being in this environment is draining and I can feel what their vibrations are doing to my overall state. 

Until I can save up more money and until after I have surgery this is where I am. 

Alos, the idea that somehow me, as the universe, wants this all to be happening, is draining too. 

I am tired. 

If any of you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate them. 

Thank you. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

That's really bad. I feel sorry for your situation. 

I'm trying to use counter-intuitive universe approach to deal with such toxic situations. 

I imagine that the universe holds the answer. And instead of being negative and depressed about the situation, because being depressed only makes it worse, I try to focus on what positive I can create. 

I have just started exploring this approach so I can't have a lot of feedback. I don't even know the practical way to go about it 

But I believe that the answer lies in positivity. 

 

 

[Roy]

I don't know what you need surgery for but if possible try and work to get as much money as possible. Work every day and take every shift available. You'll be able to move out much faster and it'll be more and more hours you're away from that toxic environment.

I've been in the same sort of situation with my dad, who was quite disruptive and argumentative. Always putting me down. You just don't feed back into it. A lot of the times they're looking for an argument and love the yelling, it keeps them from addressing their own problems by projecting. Don't give it to them, just say what you have to say to manipulate them into calming down and not caring as much.

Spend as much free time as you can outside away from the house. It'll unlikely you'll change them at their age especially with the power dynamic of you depending on them for now. That's ok, you're worried about developing yourself, not them.

What you need is to minimize your time with them if it's that draining. You'll be able to cope better and absorb the negativity if it's in small doses.

Hang in there @TheUniverseIsLove. Make a plan and be strategic about what I said and things will be more manageable now and better in the future! Good luck with your recovery

[h inandout]

You sound like you have a great attitude! 

Kris Godinez on youtube helped me a lot.  A really good therapist also helped me accept that I had to find another way and build up courage to make that happen.  Talking to people on online forums and on 7cups.com helped.  It's important to find places where you can keep your own nervous system calm and collected so you can think clearly about what you want and find your way without retaliating.  For me those safe spaces were nature or my car mostly.  

[Elton]

@h inandout nice to know is that you have found your own support system.. but what matters is consistency..

Dropping judgements will play a huge rule in dealing with people, most of the time we project unto others what we are.. 

Using the approach of living your enemies would be also a good move.. read the book 5 languages of love maybe it could help you understand how to love more .. 

 

[SerpaeTetra]

On 6/7/2020 at 0:41 PM, Keyhole said:

Get a note from your doc stating that you need a calm environment to heal faster?

I don't know if it will work but it is worth a shot.

Good luck with your recovery hope it all works out.

Something like this. Act like you had a small stroke or something. You might have to manipulate them back for your own survival; stress will not help the surgery go any better.  You can worry about your relationship with them after you are back on your own.

[Nahm]

@TheUniverseIsLove

I started working full time when I was 13. Hard to say if this stuff went on in my childhood home or not. If you don’t like the channel, change it. The universe doesn’t want, it’s unconditional. That’s why you’re here. You’re all ‘it’ wants.