Starting my pick up journey today.

[lennart]

So I already have a self-actualization journal but I thought it can't hurt if I create a new one so this gets seen more often. My current journal is about meditation and nutrition. Nothing too creative. I just record my meditations and smoothies with the idea behind it that I get motivated to not skip. Recently I got interested again in doing pick up. The thing is in the pick up community there are a lot of weirdos haha. A lot of people that think that it is okay to be rude or over the top sexual with a girl they just met. This initially scared me because I really want to avoid becoming like that but fortunately there are other pick up guys who are very respectful and I want to learn their style of pick up. So today is my first session. I will go to a park in my area and try to talk to at least 3 girls with a goody buddy of mine. I am super excited and scared at the same time. I want to share my progress here and document my experiences. So that I can get feedback from some of you pick up guys around here. Also @Leo Gura I would appreciate to hear a little bit of your journey. I know you have been in the pick up scene for some time. Maybe you could share some advice from your current perspective on pick up. Would you still do it? So yeah that's it for now. I'd appreciate some advice here. See ya later. 

Ps.: I also appreciate some recommendations for pick up guys on YouTube or other platforms that really helped you.

Edited June 6, 2020 by lennart

[lennart]

ok one update from today: I was going to the park in our are with my friend and we walked around searching for attractive girls. My initial goal was to approach 3 girls. After some time I realized that this would be way to much and I needed to scale down. So I settled for a warm up which was basically just asking attractive women what time it was. Its crazy how much this simple thing even affected me. Afterwards I was more talkative with my friends. We met a friend and his girlfriend. Usually I would have been more silent and not so direct. But then I was talking more. I was talking with more confidence and just participated more in the conversation. I have to say that afterwards I felt a little bit anxious and I felt super anxious before going out. I think the anxiousness comes from stepping out of my comfort zone. It feels so unusual but in a good way. Hope I will be able to continue on this path. Btw my friend ended up approaching no girls even though I encouraged him to do so

[lennart]

8 minutes ago, youngshinzen said:

I‘m not into pick up that much but I enjoy his approach: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheFearlessManTV

thanks bro

[lennart]

Ok today was kind of a tough day. I wanted to go out with my buddy but he was too unmotivated and tired so I went alone. I was going to a big square in Berlin. It s called Potsdamer Platz. My goal was to approach 3 girls. I thought that would be reasonable but I underrated how hard this actually is lol. I approached the first girl. I went towards her said that I saw her and thought she looked great. She reacted very positive and we then even talked for like half an hour at Dunkin Donuts. I thought it went pretty well and asked her if she wanted to go on a date with me she said she had a boyfriend. AAAAhhh hahaha I forget to ask her haha. Then I approached another girl at the bus station. I was already a little bit tired from the previous conversation with the girl so it was a little bit difficult to approach her and talk about stuff. Also when I gave her my hand she shakes it but she said that I shouldn't do it because of corona. Well I quickly asked her for her phone number and went on. After that I was so tired and way too anxious to talk to another girl. I would say it was emotionaly very difficult today but now when I look back it went pretty well for the first time asking girls out. I mean for someone who has social anxiety it was pretty good. I know a lot of guys who don't have social anxiety and don't approach girls. So yeah I am proud of me haha. The difficulty will be now to make it a habit. If you are an experienced pua feel free to comment.

[Arcangelo]

22 hours ago, lennart said:

asked her if she wanted to go on a date with me she said she had a boyfriend.

Me: -''That answer doesn't answer mi question.''

 

[lennart]

4 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

Me: -''That answer doesn't answer mi question.''

 

well yes. I could have done that. I could also have said that she could bring him with her to the date or something like that.

[kag101]

Pick-up only made matters worse for me. This idea of being "alpha" is pretty outdated IMO.

Here's my two cents, though: start with girls who are not that attractive.

[lennart]

6 hours ago, kag101 said:

Pick-up only made matters worse for me. This idea of being "alpha" is pretty outdated IMO.

Here's my two cents, though: start with girls who are not that attractive.

The pick up community seems to be very toxic. There are a lot of fucked up pick up guys who try to manipulate girls etc. I want to avoid becoming like that so I try to keep it real with the girls. I just want to gain more experience to eventually find a girlfriend so I can stop doing pick up ?. And when I talk to girls who I don't find attractive I would be bullshitting myself and her also so I don't get why I should talk to unattractive girls. I mean of course I would not start talking to 10s only but maybe 8s.

What negative experiences have you made in pick up?

[LfcCharlie4]

You're right there's a lot of manipulation and shitty guys in PU, so, a lot of the time you have to make these teachings a lot more conscious. 

I would not recommend RSD they are so gamey and fancy, and most their clients get zero results, they keep you on a hamster wheel. 

The best 'PUAs' are those who don't look like PUAs, they are simply acting natural in their interactions and owning who they are and being themselves, of course there is the fundamentals to master, but beyond that you don't need to learn a whole lot really. I can recommend some guys teachings, but again they need to be made more conscious, most of these guys are very much Stage Orange, but you can still learn things. 

@kag101 I agree RE: Alpha, I think it's more about owning who you are and appearing truly confident as that. A more holistic approach to PU would be true self-development and becoming your best version in all areas of life, instead of using tactics and manipulation to attract Women. 

For example, take Mystery, he isn't exactly the embodiment of Alpha, he wears dark goth like clothing and paints his nails black , but, he has truly owned who he is, and doesn't give a fuck, same as Russell Brand. To me that's more 'Alpha' than some guy faking who they are to score some points. 

[kag101]

On 10/06/2020 at 5:34 AM, lennart said:

And when I talk to girls who I don't find attractive I would be bullshitting myself and her also so I don't get why I should talk to unattractive girls. I mean of course I would not start talking to 10s only but maybe 8s.

It's easier to talk with not-so-attractive girls. I'd suggest you start with 5s or 6s. It's a training. See all of this as a practice. Just like playing the piano, painting, doing Jiu-Jitsu, etc. You have to start with the basics. 

Truth is, if you have little or no experience, wanting to pick up 8s is an unrealistic expectation. You'll get way too nervous.

I have a friend who never gets laid but he always wants only the hot girls. Result = he doesn't get any.

 

On 10/06/2020 at 5:34 AM, lennart said:

What negative experiences have you made in pick up?

I studied so much theory that when I was actually around girls I would overthink and not do shit. Analysis by paralysis.

When I was finally able let go of all the "shoulds" of how to interact with people I am attracted to, then I started to succeed. Why? Because then I was able to be natural, which is by far the most important thing.   

 

On 12/06/2020 at 5:31 AM, LfcCharlie4 said:

take Mystery, he isn't exactly the embodiment of Alpha, he wears dark goth like clothing and paints his nails black , but, he has truly owned who he is, and doesn't give a fuck

I don't find him that "developed". I've watched some of seminars, and he's pretty arrogant. I think he wears those things on purpose. And it's part of his peacock thing that he always talks about, which to me is just cringey... 

On 12/06/2020 at 5:31 AM, LfcCharlie4 said:

true self-development and becoming your best version in all areas of life

Yes, I totally agree with that. My relationships are a reflection of the other areas of my life.

As a matter of fact, I really like that interview Leo did with a dude. Here it is:

 

[lennart]

Alright. Thank you guys for all the suggestions. I have been thinking about it and yes I definitely need to work on other areas of my life to like emotional/ psychological well being ( Struggling with social anxiety) and I will definitely do that but I feel like I just can't wait haha I am freakin 21 this is the time to do shit..

And I wanted to give a little update. I have been on a semi date on Friday with a girl I already knew for some time and I think is pretty attractive. The reason why I am saying semi date is because I never really made it clear that I like her and think she is attractive. I only made some comments here and there that I think she looks good or something. But apparently that isn't enough for some girls. So we met at a small Canal here in Berlin and I bought a wine and brought. In the beginning (first 2-3 hours) I was feeling really good and thought it went pretty well. I made subtle physical body contact. For example touching here on the arm or on the shoulder when talking to her and she also did that a few times which is a good sign I think but then later when the effect of the wine started to dissipate I got like really tired and the thing about her is that she talks quite a lot so I started sliding into this passive role. Yeah in the end we said goodby like friends. But we want to meet again. I just think that when I meet her again I need to be more direct and maybe even say directly what my intentions are like "Hey listen I really like you and think you are attractive lets be more then friends"  or something...

Any suggestions?

[lennart]

Also haven't really been out talking to girls since the last time because my wingman is currently busy and I don't feel confident going out alone.

[LfcCharlie4]

@lennart Being that blunt upfront isn’t necessary if you show what you want in how you act and your body language.

If you have a platonic interaction she will see you as a friend unfortunately. 
 

Physical contact is a good sign, sexualising the conversation in a humerus way is always a great idea, but not in a weird or creepy way just make jokes when you can& talk about it openly, sex isn’t a big deal! Just don’t start acting weird or creepy. 

[LfcCharlie4]

@kag101 Yeah Mystery made some key developments, but failed to evolve, he still advocates asking for a girls Skype...in 2020 lol, imagine actually doing that ?? 

He also promotes “Negs” which is subtly lowering the girls value, personally think that is BS & peacocking like you said, just find your own style and own it! 
 

But his stuff on compliance and comfort & DHVs is pretty spot on. 
 

It’s why I despise companies like RSD who flat out lie and say “looks and money and status doesn’t matter!” Of course it’s not the be all end all, but you think girls are gonna turn down the likes of Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio, of course it matters to an extent.

To he honest, I think there are fundamentals to learn, like how to approach, build attraction and comfort (eye contact, tone, physicality etc), overcoming objections whatever they may be & building compliance + investment, but more so than anything like we agreed it’s about becoming the best man you can be, and of course that involves improving your “game” (basically your ability to communicate well & attract women) but goes far beyond that into all areas of life. Like is a genuinely stunning and amazing girl going to date a dude who doesn’t shower, plays WoW all day and lives with his mum? Probably not.

[kag101]

@lennart That's great, man! It seems that it was pretty obvious that it was a romantic kinda thing. If she reciprocated the physical touch, then it is a very good sign. And it's normal to run out of social battery, especially if you're an introvert. Just respect your limits...

I think you should ask her out again, and I agree with @LfcCharlie4, there's no need to be that direct. One concept that I think is useful in pickup is kino escalation.

But anyways, it seems to me that you did really well. 

The most important thing is to have fun

Keep us posted!!

 

On 17/06/2020 at 3:43 AM, LfcCharlie4 said:

just find your own style and own it! 

yeap

Edited June 19, 2020 by kag101

[lennart]

Thank you guys. Good to this positive feedback. And yeah I also thought that it might be to direct and intimidating to just say that I like her. Its probably better to just continue showing interest in her on a more subtle way. And we do have a date set up but unfortunately she has exams so it can happen in 3 weeks approximately. But yeah we will go to a lake and rent a boat. Well I think if that isn‘t romantic I dont know what is ?. 

[lennart]

On 17.6.2020 at 8:43 AM, LfcCharlie4 said:

@kag101 Yeah Mystery made some key developments, but failed to evolve, he still advocates asking for a girls Skype...in 2020 lol, imagine actually doing that ?? 

He also promotes “Negs” which is subtly lowering the girls value, personally think that is BS & peacocking like you said, just find your own style and own it! 
 

But his stuff on compliance and comfort & DHVs is pretty spot on. 
 

It’s why I despise companies like RSD who flat out lie and say “looks and money and status doesn’t matter!” Of course it’s not the be all end all, but you think girls are gonna turn down the likes of Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio, of course it matters to an extent.

To he honest, I think there are fundamentals to learn, like how to approach, build attraction and comfort (eye contact, tone, physicality etc), overcoming objections whatever they may be & building compliance + investment, but more so than anything like we agreed it’s about becoming the best man you can be, and of course that involves improving your “game” (basically your ability to communicate well & attract women) but goes far beyond that into all areas of life. Like is a genuinely stunning and amazing girl going to date a dude who doesn’t shower, plays WoW all day and lives with his mum? Probably not.

Man I think Mystery is pretty lost tbh. I read the book by Neal Strauss and how he gets described there shows that he has some serious emotional problems. And I totally agree on the Negs. You would have to turn into an asshole to some degree to do that and thats the last thing I want. But for sure some of the stuff works. 

[kag101]

On 19/06/2020 at 8:57 PM, lennart said:

But yeah we will go to a lake and rent a boat. Well I think if that isn‘t romantic I dont know what is ?. 

Awesome!

Feel free to DM me if you need emotional support or something.

[lennart]

so after a long time of doing nothing. I went out today with the goal of approaching just one girl. I didn't even wanted to do a full approach I just asked for direction and smiled and said have a nice day. I just wanted to do something easy. I think I am going to do that a few times and then eventually when I feel ready I am going to do an actual approach again

[lennart]

Yesterday I wen out again to ask for directions. I talked to one older women which was pretty easy then I saw a cute girl that I thought was really attractive. I had to push myself to go up to her. At first I didn't wanted to but then I told myself that I would regret if I didn't do it so I talked to her and asked for directions again. I am planning on going out today again and ask for directions or something like that again.