How to stop 'needing' girlfriend's orgasm

[Chris365]

Now that I got your attention,

I would say this situation is pretty rare. My girlfriend who's into spirituality (more into the souls/higher dimentions, astral projection, channelings etc) has the belief that having an orgasm drains her energy and she feels lethargic/unspiritual for a while after. 
This leads to sexual encounters lasting hours (e.g. 1hr sessions, 5 times a day some days (not every day ) which, while 'nice', I struggle to keep up with, since I don't have this hangup about orgasms. (During the multi session days, I hold the orgasm until the end, sometimes not having it).

Some may see this as an ideal situation, but:
- My inner caveman wants her to have an orgasm, otherwise I get the thought that I'm not satisfying her. Even though she reassures me at every opportunity that's not the case, how can I shut up mr caveman?
- I feel that having an orgasm at the same time as your partner adds that last 10% of bonding/connection between lovers, again, might be a hangup, can I get over this somehow?
- I sometimes struggle to delay my orgasm, any supplements that may help with this?

I even suggested she should fake it sometimes, just for my inner satisfaction... 

Halp

[IJB063]

@Chris365

Maybe “Mr Caveman’s” is right

Theres a reason why you have that instinct 

Gotta step up your game bud that’s all I can tell you

[Gili Trawangan]

Why should everything be her way? Is she trying to compromise and take into account your needs? 

[Oliver Saavedra]

How dominant are you? 

Let the beast come out and make her forget about everything until she cums, then you cum over her. 

[wordsforliving]

1 hour ago, Chris365 said:

My inner caveman wants her to have an orgasm, otherwise I get the thought that I'm not satisfying her. Even though she reassures me at every opportunity that's not the case

Believe her when she says that's not the case. A spiritual woman into spirituality like you described will not be focused on or shoot for the pressure of having orgasms. She is trying to steer you away from the focus on it.  Too much pressure for her and for you to be worried about it.

Release your hangup about her having orgasms by practicing the "Letting Go" technique. Leo has a video on it. and Dr. David R. Hawkins has a book and audiobook on Letting Go that describes specifically about using the letting go technique to greatly enhance sexual satisfaction. So release your desire for her to have orgasms. The idea that the orgasm creates a bond is just a human construct or limiting belief.  Letting go technique will take the pressure of performance off of everyone altogether. 

Edited June 5, 2020 by wordsforliving

[Forestluv]

If she sincerely believes her orgasms drain her and causes unspiritual feelings she doesn’t like, I would have some respect for that and work with it. Imagine if orgasms caused her physical pain? Wouldn’t we show some respect for that?

I’d be curious if her preferred sexual experience is fully non-orgasmic. She might be very unique and wired this way. Has she had orgasms before? What was your sense of her relationship to it? Not your feeling of being a good sexual partner, rather your sense of her experience with it? 

It also doesn’t need to be an either / or scenario. For example, she might not care that much about her orgasms and there might be some pleasure with orgasming, with resistance to orgasming. 

If she genuinely is not into her own orgasms, that would shift the energetics from desiring to give her pleasure and experience mutual pleasure to me trying to satisfy my own desires by making her orgasm against her preference. It would be similar to the guy wanting to receive oral sex when she isn’t into giving oral sex. This dynamic is more about the guy receiving pleasure than giving pleasure. In such as case, compromises can be made with good communication. I might say “I get a lot of pleasure when you orgasm or when we orgasm together. I know it’s not your preferred sexual experience, yet could we occasionally orgasm together?”. 

Overall, I would shift away from the mentality of “I need to make her orgasm to be a man and good sexually” to a mentality of wanting to share deeper intimacy together. 

[Leo Gura]

@Chris365 Dude, what bullshit is this?

You grab her by the throat, rip her panties off, and fuck her brains out until you force her to cum.

[DnoReally]

@Leo Gura Bro

[Chakra Lion]

6 hours ago, Chris365 said:

I even suggested she should fake it sometimes, just for my inner satisfaction... 

And then what? Is that the Love you want? Fake Love? 

Reminds me of the Federal Government and their Money Printing Machines.

The Falseness will be exposed and you will stand naked and alone in the Real World you have covered with Lies and Illusion. 

[Hello from Russia]

33 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Chris365 Dude, what bullshit is this?

You grab her by the throat, rip her panties off, and fuck her brains out until you force her to cum.

YES!

[apparentlynoself]

52 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Chris365 Dude, what bullshit is this?

You grab her by the throat, rip her panties off, and fuck her brains out until you force her to cum.

Wow

I would love to do that ??

[Chris365]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Chris365 Dude, what bullshit is this?

You grab her by the throat, rip her panties off, and fuck her brains out until you force her to cum.

I'm still working my way up the 5MeO dosage, forgive me lord 

[Chris365]

6 hours ago, wordsforliving said:

Believe her when she says that's not the case. A spiritual woman into spirituality like you described will not be focused on or shoot for the pressure of having orgasms. She is trying to steer you away from the focus on it.  Too much pressure for her and for you to be worried about it.

Release your hangup about her having orgasms by practicing the "Letting Go" technique. Leo has a video on it. and Dr. David R. Hawkins has a book and audiobook on Letting Go that describes specifically about using the letting go technique to greatly enhance sexual satisfaction. So release your desire for her to have orgasms. The idea that the orgasm creates a bond is just a human construct or limiting belief.  Letting go technique will take the pressure of performance off of everyone altogether. 

I watched that video, good suggestion... will try practice more... 

4 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

If she sincerely believes her orgasms drain her and causes unspiritual feelings she doesn’t like, I would have some respect for that and work with it. Imagine if orgasms caused her physical pain? Wouldn’t we show some respect for that?

I’d be curious if her preferred sexual experience is fully non-orgasmic. She might be very unique and wired this way. Has she had orgasms before? What was your sense of her relationship to it? Not your feeling of being a good sexual partner, rather your sense of her experience with it? 

It also doesn’t need to be an either / or scenario. For example, she might not care that much about her orgasms and there might be some pleasure with orgasming, with resistance to orgasming. 

If she genuinely is not into her own orgasms, that would shift the energetics from desiring to give her pleasure and experience mutual pleasure to me trying to satisfy my own desires by making her orgasm against her preference. It would be similar to the guy wanting to receive oral sex when she isn’t into giving oral sex. This dynamic is more about the guy receiving pleasure than giving pleasure. In such as case, compromises can be made with good communication. I might say “I get a lot of pleasure when you orgasm or when we orgasm together. I know it’s not your preferred sexual experience, yet could we occasionally orgasm together?”. 

Overall, I would shift away from the mentality of “I need to make her orgasm to be a man and good sexually” to a mentality of wanting to share deeper intimacy together. 

The thing is, I think it's mostly in her mind.

She read something on the 'net ( so it must be true ), "Chemical Brain" or somesuch, that shaped her beliefs - 

 Initially when she explained how she feels about orgasms, I thought, yeah, cool (secretly hoping I'd 'convert' her). Then when we first started having sex, for the first 2-3 times she had a couple 'involuntary' orgasms, then she would cry and feel bad for a few hours.

After some time, she started having orgasms every time we had sex, with no adverse effects (and she was obviously enjoying them) - great, thought I, she's over the belief in energy drainage. One particular day she had 4, I believed she was well and truly 'healed'.

But now, for the past 4-5 weeks, she's back to withholding it, even going so far as stopping abruptly during the act, and making me stop as well... for 10-20 seconds until her excitement goes down, then we're back at it.

Some would say this is great, just do the business, only care about your satisfaction, but until I shift the focus from that thought, I can't stop thinking I'm 'using' her - Yes, the thought is incorrect, it's false, still I'm identified with it for a few minutes, maybe hours sometimes.

 

[Espaim]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Dude, what bullshit is this?

You grab her by the throat, rip her panties off, and fuck her brains out until you force her to cum.

and that's why I watch actualized.org

[JessiChell]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Chris365 Dude, what bullshit is this?

You grab her by the throat, rip her panties off, and fuck her brains out until you force her to cum.

@Chris365 this is what I was thinking but felt like I shouldn't say. 

You sound really rare though. I dont think I've ever heard this type of restraint from a guy. 

[wordsforliving]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Chris365 Dude, what bullshit is this?

You grab her by the throat, rip her panties off, and fuck her brains out until you force her to cum.

Disturbing suggestion. To me that would feel like rape & I would have zero trust after being forced (unless the relationship was actually seriously loving, solid and respectful).

But I would at least communicate with her @Chris365, as I have learned the hard way that if there's no willingness to communicate and work on the relationship, there's no incentive to continue. Maybe find out if she has hidden desires to be handled roughly and forced to cum. She might. 

Also some physically or mentally have a really hard time reaching orgasm and not possible to force it. 

Edited June 6, 2020 by wordsforliving

[egoeimai]

18 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Chris365 Dude, what bullshit is this?

You grab her by the throat, rip her panties off, and fuck her brains out until you force her to cum.

????????

[Amit]

19 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Chris365 Dude, what bullshit is this?

You grab her by the throat, rip her panties off, and fuck her brains out until you force her to cum.

Leo gets caught masturbating to this post.. ?

[hamedsf]

throw away supplements.

tell her it's just her belief and indeed a "spiritual-related limiting belief"!

her situation is like a penny pincher who's constantly saves money and doesn't spend his money and wonders why he doesn't get wealthier.

that also applies to the sexual energy, if you don't want to distribute it, there won't be a flow between you and universe.

Edited June 8, 2020 by hamedsf

[Epikur]

Once the lizard brain gets the power the frontal cortex gets weaker. So she is not really wrong.