Why is a random opinion of a forum member affecting me so much ???

[Elton]

How do I deal with this ? I am so surprised actually about how a random option on one of my post on this forum has affected me so much ? I was just trying to help but got such a mean comment in return...

I feel a heavy sensation in my chest whenever I see this person online and I get scared to comment on post that person has posted in.. nevertheless I still post as I want to and love to share my gifts.. is this fear or anxiety? How do I deal with it ? 

I feel so vunerable now .. how could one comment of a random stranger who means nothing to me affect me so much ? 

Does this have to do with self esteem issues ? Does this mean I have such a week esteem ? 

I'm normal other times in the day as I do activities I love like meditation, reading, exercise, yoga etc. .. but when im here on this forum I feel like that ... How do I help myself ? 

I don't want to be so sensitive to opinion of others ..

Affirmation for 90 days again ?? Why can't I make this 'independent of good or bad opinion of others' a permanent part of me ? 

 

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, Elton said:

How do I deal with this ? I am so surprised actually about how a random option on one of my post on this forum has affected me so much ? I was just trying to help but got such a mean comment in return...

I feel a heavy sensation in my chest whenever I see this person online and I get scared to comment on post that person has posted in.. nevertheless I still post as I want to and love to share my gifts.. is this fear or anxiety? How do I deal with it ? 

I feel so vunerable now .. how could one comment of a random stranger who means nothing to me affect me so much ? 

Does this have to do with self esteem issues ? Does this mean I have such a week esteem ? 

I'm normal other times in the day as I do activities I love like meditation, reading, exercise, yoga etc. .. but when im here on this forum I feel like that ... How do I help myself ? 

I don't want to be so sensitive to opinion of others ..

Affirmation for 90 days again ?? Why can't I make this 'independent of good or bad opinion of others' a permanent part of me ? 

 

maybe there is truth in what the person said and you are afraid to face it? what was it about?

[Elton]

@Rilles it was about how my advice was simple, irrelevant and useless. 

:-( 

[Rilles]

6 minutes ago, Elton said:

@Rilles it was about how my advice was simple, irrelevant and useless. 

:-( 

can you paraphrase what the person said? usefulness is relative to what a person needs, was he rude? 

[Elton]

@Rilles yea it certainly felt like that person was rude ... I was told that my advice is overly simplistic and irrelevant.. I don't understand the issue and I should go read some book.

It felt very bad to try to help someone and get harsh words in return ..

[Elton]

6 minutes ago, Rilles said:

can you paraphrase what the person said? usefulness is relative to what a person needs, was he rude? 

Yea you are right I can understand it on a logical level but on an emotional level I'm suffering.. I ignored that persons post and didn't reply to avoid any further issues.

The problem is that this forum is triggering me now, everytime I'm here and see that person online I'm triggered..or even if I see that persons pic I'm triggered..

Maybe I got to do that forgiveness guided meditation on this random person from the internet now

I feel we week being vunerable to a random person on the internet, such a pity..

[Rilles]

2 minutes ago, Elton said:

@Rilles yea it certainly felt like that person was rude ... I was told that my advice is overly simplistic and irrelevant.. I don't understand the issue and I should go read some book.

It felt very bad to try to help someone and get harsh words in return ..

if someone is rude to you

1. its not about you

2. they have low self esteem

3. they feel insecure

4. they have to project their negativity onto you

 

feel the emotions you feel, dont ignore them, but dont create a big story out of them, and realize its not about you, the person doesnt even know you, he is just projecting his own emotional stuff onto you  

[Elton]

@Rilles thank you rilles these words are certainly comforting to my hurt ego ❤️ thank you so much.

 

[Rilles]

7 minutes ago, Elton said:

Yea you are right I can understand it on a logical level but on an emotional level I'm suffering.. I ignored that persons post and didn't reply to avoid any further issues.

Emotions dont lie, dont try to logical your way out of your feelings. 

The problem is that this forum is triggering me now, everytime I'm here and see that person online I'm triggered..or even if I see that persons pic I'm triggered..

Let yourself be triggered. And laugh at how silly it is to be triggered by a profile pic. ??

Maybe I got to do that forgiveness guided meditation on this random person from the internet now

I feel we week being vunerable to a random person on the internet, such a pity..

Theres nothing wrong with weakness, welcome to Stage Green. ?

 

[Rilles]

9 minutes ago, Elton said:

@Rilles thank you rilles these words are certainly comforting to my hurt ego ❤️ thank you so much.

 

no problem duudde?

[nistake]

Well, there may be several reasons for that. I suggest you open up an empty Word document and write down the exact same thing you wrote in the title. Do the stream-of-consciousness journaling stuff. Don't limit yourself, don't try to reason, don't accept the easy answers. Just keep writing and see what comes up.

[Elton]

@nistake okay thanks for the advice will try it out ... Just keep writtng? 

[nistake]

@Elton Yup. Don't expect straight answers right away, just let it all out. That alone can be really helpful.

[Lyubov]

the sedona method is really good with hang ups like this. practice letting go and then when you feel you are in a more stable place journal about it or find ways to explore why you felt that way. Sometimes doing nothing and just letting an emotional cathartic expression take over can help.

[Elton]

@Lyubov @nistake thank you for your advice, I will try them, I feel much better after posting my emotions and how I felt ...

[Roy]

I've experienced something similar though not on this forum. Have you considered that the image you're projecting of that poster represents a part of you you don't want to confront?

Perhaps what they said upset and resonated with you so hard because it's an emotional weak point that you need to shore up, and it's painful.

[Red-White-Light]

@Elton Might be anxiety related, you need to have thick skin in life. A silly forum comment is truly minuscule compared to interactions, especially in workplaces.

[Elton]

@Red-White-Light yes I noticed this in my workplace too.. I don't why why I am so sensitive to opinion of others...

 

[Elton]

@Roy as a human being I just want to be heard and loved.. someone completely ignoring me and inturn rediculing me for advising them is definitely what I don't want.

But ya I understand it's a projection of their own mind.

 

Edited June 7, 2020 by Elton

[egoeimai]

@Elton
are you serious forget about it my sweetheart