Crazy satori moments need advice

[James123]

Hello my friends. Last 4 days i am having crazy satori moments. Days and nights are becoming too long. I am being so aware normally even during the day. 4 nights ago i was meditating and become giant mind, which is my room. Because it was right in front of me. I close my eyes i was nothing, because it was right in front of me. I was the moment thats it. My brain transformed to infinite mind, i can see why i dont die. Because, i am my room, eyes dont see. Every molecule of my room or whatever i am aware of me otherwise it doesn’t exist. No time, life, nothing exist here. It is so quite. Just me happens here thats why i watch the body. People are human because they just believe they are human and body (born, can see, die) thats it. I believed i am god i have become. Thats why i am infinite whatever I believe iam. Because of that i am nothing. I am aware of you guys but life exist as me. Death can not happen because every process is me. This so called world or us is nothing, or whatever we do it doesn’t change anything , because it happens within nothingness , so nothingness can never change. I am exist as nothing but aware and everything but aware. I cant see as human anymore, whatever i see is me, my thoughts are me thats why i cant think and i am aware of just me. I am not living now, last 2-3 days. Life is not happening, just me. Even table moves or my arm all process is me it doesn’t change anything. This is so effortless, i can see why thinking makes you so tired, you spend more effort to become enlightened (with thoughts) than they are supposed to be thats why people cant get it. It is right here the moment. What am i going to do now? Used the body will it is so called dies or just be witness? I feel if I meditate more, i will just continue to meditate. There is no effort that you even sleeping you have to breathe, that you is just being. Because of just being, it doesn’t need anything. Last 4 days everytime I meditate i just stop. I dont know how can i explain that but everything is stopped. There is no time here or death or thought or sound. I cant see anything just me. What do you guy think? Life is not fading away, meanings are fading away that why life is not happening. Additionally, I explained these because i dont even want to write, I didn’t need it. I forced myself to write. Additionally, i know it is permanent, because it is in me like an ego. Stays with me. Cant get rid of it anymore. “The moment “. Right in front of you.

Edited June 4, 2020 by James123

[Gili Trawangan]

Allow it to unfold, everything is fine. 

[James123]

@Gili Trawangan giant empty and nothing awareness opened up behind my ego. Thats why i am not alive. I dont listen the ego. 

5 minutes ago, Gili Trawangan said:

Allow it to unfold, everything is fine. 

I am fine, i knew it. But it is too powerful. Lol   

Edited June 4, 2020 by James123

[nistake]

Maybe check out this book:

 

https://www.adyashanti.org/store/publications/books/the-end-of-your-world-531?sorton=dpublicationdate&sortorder=asc&nstart=1&start=1&n=5&subjectid=&searchTitle=

[James123]

22 minutes ago, nistake said:

Maybe check out this book:

 

https://www.adyashanti.org/store/publications/books/the-end-of-your-world-531?sorton=dpublicationdate&sortorder=asc&nstart=1&start=1&n=5&subjectid=&searchTitle=

Thanks a lot man. I definitely got drunk on emptiness. Because it is timeless. 

Edited June 4, 2020 by James123

[Leo Gura]

@James123 Go deeper! You're still playing games.

Become Infinity.

Allow yourself to become God.

[traveler]

There is Nothing for "you" to do. This is free to be what it is. It is always whole, fully pregnant with itself. 

[James123]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@James123 Go deeper! You're still playing games.

Become Infinity.

Allow yourself to become God.

Of course i play games  because I wrote these messages as me or ego now. But i am not here. Believe me i become the godhead in those moments. My mind got so wide, i was immortal, out of life and was the moment. But it fades away, i have no idea why. I have no needs, desire or becoming enlightened those moments. I cant even talk. Because there is nothing to talk. Do you think arising thoughts brings me back human mind? Or surrendering completely even desiring the truth? I think i am fucking loosing my mind. Going insane. I don’t know what i am doing or thinking. I am here and not here, infinite and nothing, exist and not exist, god and human at the same time. I Am just done with thinking because there is no way to get it, it is already it. There is no me to think thoughts, i will just let go of everything. This is it. I dont or cant know anything anymore. There is no one to experience anything. No name just this is. 

 

9 hours ago, traveler said:

There is Nothing for "you" to do. This is free to be what it is. It is always whole, fully pregnant with itself. 

I know. So you are telling me stay as in satori all the time? Because there is no me to write these messages or you can say there no me to desire anything. I am already it. Thats why i cant talk as personal now, i will just talk as nothing if i need to.

Edited June 4, 2020 by James123

[traveler]

48 minutes ago, James123 said:

I know. So you are telling me stay as in satori all the time? Because there is no me to write these messages or you can say there no me to desire anything. I am already it. Thats why i cant talk as personal now, i will just talk as nothing if i need to.

A full letting go is out of your control. It might feel like you are in control of satori, but you can recognize that satori is this already and that the energy of wanting to have it, know it, control it, seek it, is what creates a sense of seperation and hides it. This is it already, God (this) can appear as a seperate person writing or reading this, from the persons point of view it is personal and meaningful, but really it's always just God (this) appearing as whatever is appearing. It is impersonal, and the biggest mind fuck is that this isn't actually happening, the person in control is a complete illusion, it was never there.

[James123]

@traveler i cant control the satori, it comes and goes. When i am too focus on moment i get satoris just now, the moment thats it. I completely agree. My ego is writing this i am just the awareness itself. But i am gonna miss this personal feeling with even communicating with you. Do you know what i mean? There will be nothing personal. Because there is nothing here or i am nothing in here. I am just seeing it but not from the eyes or from the body. I am all here whatever i see at the moment i have become as nothing.i am just the witness of the movie, and entire movie. When i know there is no me is here and believe it, i hit satori (maybe in a day, hour or weeks). Because i cant think, and become infinite. I think i am going crazy loosing my fucking mind. Thats what it is. Going insane. I dont know what i am doing or thinking. I am here and not here, infinite and nothing, exist and not exist, god and human at the same time. I am just dine with thinking, because there is no way to get it, it is already it. There is no me to think thoughts, i will just let go of everything. This is it. I dont and cant think anymore. Because every experience is me. There is no one here to experience anything. No name just this is.

Edited June 4, 2020 by James123