Tonight after a day of self enquiry & contemplation I did 2.5g of mushrooms. Comeup was a little rocky but then I stabilized. I started contemplating on what people meant when people said “It’s all me”. I never understood because i thought it must mean solipsism, but the same people claimed it was not solipsism.  Then I realized, solipsism means, “I am real and everything else is not”. Thats all it means. Then it truly hit me for the first time; There are no others to be real or not. Its all me. I am literally living all of your lives right now. & of course what I have imagined as “this life” isn’t aware of the experiences of “other lives”. It feels like a weight has been dropped off my shoulders. The jig is up. I felt equality with all beings and strangely enough a present, sexual energy. Not really a lustful sexual energy but more of a romantic sexual energy. When I thought of a girl i felt this amazing connecting energy because it is myself. Not in the solipsistic, egoic sense, but in the equal sense. She is her, which is what I am.
I am a perfect sexual being with a perfect balance of masculine & feminine energy. I am so much more than I thought. I realized I must be God. Because I am everything. I am infinite & boundless. But then why not just use the word “me”? there is no need for “God” when you realize its all you anyway. You are God no matter what. Once you take the ego out of the equation all this shit just makes so much sense. It never did until now.  Now I understand what you meant with virtual partition Leo, or should I say me:), and what you meant in the “how to deal with loneliness” video about being ultimately alone. I never understood this shit until now. Then I contemplated the symbolism of angels & devils. Angels are individuals who realize their individuality is ultimately a conjuration of the whole. A divine creation. They realize they are identical to the whole. While devils are fallen angels, individuals who have mentally created separate identities out of their individuality. Now I feel more like an angel because  I realize you are all literally me.  I have contemplated the nature of others so much but I never understood it. Now finally I do. Its all me. I wish I could transfer this understanding through these words but I can’t, you could still misinterpret all that im saying right now as solipsism or other BS.
 
The realization was so thoughtless & effortless, just a big aha moment. Almost comical. Spent the rest of the trip just enjoying this realization & enjoying nature, just basking in myself. Not much more contemplation because it felt like the jig was up and there was just enjoyment. Its all me, I can’t die. Heard it so often but never could understand it until now. I feel like I only just dabbled into true spirituality. Thoughts?