Masturbation Is Holding Me Back

[Cuzzo]

Ok...so girls. It has come into my awareness that learning how to interact with them on a romantic level and being able to handle myself emotionally has been important to me. 

One thing that I have realized is that porn and masturbation are habits that stunt my growth in this area of my life. 

For one it makes sex not nearly as enjoyable. I've been watching porn and masturbating for so long that I've grown desensitized. The real thing could be much better. And because I understand this, I notice that I suppress myself in situations where I could talk to a girl or get involved with her. 

I tell myself that I need to quit this habit before I start putting myself out there again, because subconsciously I know I won't be 100% ready. 

But the thing is that this habit it super hard to quit for me. I always rationalize a reason to do it just one more time. I may have a few good days, but then I'll crack and relapse. 

I feel like I have no choice but to put this habit behind me. Does anyone have advice as to the best methods for that? This is incredibly tough. 

[egoeimai]

Hello. People masturbate for several reasons.

Try to find yours and tell us here why you do it. Then you can find the root cause . 

Oh and the most obvious. If you do it for joy,find something else to replace it. To just release the endorphines but with some other way. Maybe exercise to give you the euphoria.

Dont reach to things such as smoking and such. These are even bad.

[Bombardini]

Hey Cuzzo! 

I think this link covers your problem and contains pretty much everything you need to know on the subject.

http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0

 

[Mal]

@Cuzzo

The tendency to "whack-off" is a way of avoiding emotional pain.

Once you make the link between an emotion driving you to act out, you can quit the acting out and go head on into the emotion and feel it.

Your symptom will then drop quicker than Eva Angelina's panties

 

Edited July 15, 2016 by Mal

[Jecht Spencer]

I did a video on this last week. I have been a major porn addict and masturbation junky for a majority of my life. Sometimes up to 12x a day or more. I've always had a high sex drive but only recently have I realized just how much harm it was actually causing my own mind.

Since going cold turkey I've had a much happier life. I've relapsed but ironically my relapse happen on days that I've already sex (with a real in the flesh woman ooooo.) Not sure if there is a correlation. 

The key is to keep your hands away from your cock. Don't try to fight your urges with willpower. Rather embrace your lust and choose to act on it by channeling that energy into going out and meeting a girl or into something creative. Perhaps a sexually expressive piece of art.

Also check out no fap on reddit. Whenever I have the urge to look at porn I instantly go to no fap to remind myself of the benefits of not masturbating.

It is by no means easy. It has been equated to heroin or tobacco but ultimately you will perservere.

Another more obvious point is to simply have MORE Sex. Nothing beats the real thing and those pixels on the screen are seperating you from a reality of horny women waiting to hop on your magic carpet.

My video is here:

https://youtu.be/W_e7ObpJG30

Let me know what you think.

Good Fortune to You My Friend,

Jecht

Edited July 16, 2016 by Jecht Spencer

[LateBloomer]

But which is the best masturbation - frequency if youre not in a relationship?

[Jecht Spencer]

1 hour ago, LateBloomer said:

But which is the best masturbation - frequency if youre not in a relationship?

Arguably none at all. It gives you leverage to actually go out there and start up conversations with girls. There is no more easy way out.

No more "Oh I'll just go masturbate and play some games tonight." Instead it's "Fuck I'm horny I'm going out and chatting up some girls tonight."

Over the last 10 days I've slept with 3 girls none of which I would of had the drive to go out and meet if I had given myself the easy way out.

Your testosterone raises by over 50% after just 1 week of not masturbating. The added drive extends itself into all aspects of your life not just dating.

Everyone is different and I have heard the nay sayers say "I masturbate and it doesn't effect me at all."

To those people I say "try it." Most people can't. They don't realize just how hardwired masturbation (particularly porn) has fucked up their own minds. They are a slave to it.

Dr. Robert Glover talks about what is called "healthy masturbation." It involves no porn, no mental images of past lovers or future lovers. Instead it is focused solely on the feelings on the penis as it is being touched. Kind of like meditating while you masturbate. This type of presentness and overall satisfaction with REAL SEX (with another person) leads to a much healthier attitude about sex, relationships, and intimacy.

Depending on where you starting try it for a week and see your results.

No fap calls these results "super powers" and although I can't jump on that bandwagon I will state that the benefits have been pretty remarkable.

Good Fortune to You My Friend,

Jecht

Edited July 16, 2016 by Jecht Spencer

[aurum]

NoFap is an interesting one for me. I still can't be sure if it's effects are real or placebo but all I know is that when I used to watch porn, I had way more issues in my life. Cut out porn, suddenly many issues seemed to resolve themselves.

My advice to you is:

1) Have a larger purpose to why you want to quit. Don't think you can just willpower your way through it. You need a strong REASON which is give you effortless willpower

2) Don't give an inch. You're dealing with a deadly game of rationalizations, and if you gave an inch (I'll just watch this youtube video, it's not porn!) suddenly you're relapsing.

3) Have shit to do. This ties into advice number 1 but have other things to do but sit around on the computer all day. Don't even give yourself the opportunity to relapse.

4) Become conscious of what porn is doing to , I had to see all the fucked up ways it was hurting my life in a very real way in order to get the leverage to stop.