How To Release Negative Emotions

[Christian]

My parents divorced back in 2011 and I am STILL experiencing quite a lot of emotional distress as a result. I still feel anger, betrayal, let down, hurt, broken. But I really do not know how to deal with it. Because of this, my emotional state has not really improved in this time because I keep holding on to them like a crutch.

And I have heard from people like Elliot Hulse that emotions that are not expressed become neurotic holding patterns and I don't want to have that.

But I can't get myself to express my emotions. That is too painful in itself. I have so much SH#T in my system that is ready go get unleashed, but I fear the force and I  feel like I am being a pussy whenever I let go and just express. I can't get myself to do it.

Every time I try, I fail by holding on and not releasing.

If you have any idea on how to let go and express your negative emotions, please leave a suggestion to help me and other people facing this issue

All the best

[Ayla]

@Christian

 

[Sleek]

Have you tried watching Leo's video on How To Deal With Strong Negative Emotions. Here are some notes that I took away from his video.

"The tendency to avoid emotional suffering is the cause of all mental illness. To lead a healthy spiritual life we must face problems directly and experience the pain involved." 

Process for releasing any negative emotion. I prefer doing it sitting.

1. Relax your body
2. Get into the present moment. Get in touch with your senses - sights, sounds, body sensations
3. Connect with your body. Feel where the hurt is coming from on your body. Wherever you think that it's coming from. Could be a tingly sensation, body pains, aches, etc. 
4. Open yourself and fully feel it
5. Allow. Which means you give yourself permission to feel it again.
6. Observe with curiosity what's going through your body. Don't judge it or label it. Just notice it.
7. Allow yourself to feel it again. Give yourself permission to FEEL the hurt. 
8. Sit on your ass and do nothing. Don't distract yourself. 

Profound insight: the feeling of being hurt does not actually hurt you. 

[egoeimai]

Ι was about to open a thread today similar to this. I have also negative emotions from past experiences with some people that have betrayed me and some others that ignored me as hell.

Firstly I wanted to say that when you are such a young person and undeveloped with your feelings,its super difficult to express them correctly and let go of them. So If something bad happens ESPECIALLY to a young person its much more difficult to let go. So neuroticism would probably knock the door.

Also ,its not only about the age something bad reach to you, its also matter of 0 emotional intelligence.

You have to know the reactions you have as a person,the belief systems and such.

Maybe meditation. Idk. Im in the search too.

[egoeimai]

3 minutes ago, Sleek said:

Have you tried watching Leo's video on How To Deal With Strong Negative Emotions. Here are some notes that I took away from his video.

"The tendency to avoid emotional suffering is the cause of all mental illness. To lead a healthy spiritual life we must face problems directly and experience the pain involved." 

Process for releasing any negative emotion. I prefer doing it sitting.

1. Relax your body
2. Get into the present moment. Get in touch with your senses - sights, sounds, body sensations
3. Connect with your body. Feel where the hurt is coming from on your body. Wherever you think that it's coming from. Could be a tingly sensation, body pains, aches, etc. 
4. Open yourself and fully feel it
5. Allow. Which means you give yourself permission to feel it again.
6. Observe with curiosity what's going through your body. Don't judge it or label it. Just notice it.
7. Allow yourself to feel it again. Give yourself permission to FEEL the hurt. 
8. Sit on your ass and do nothing. Don't distract yourself. 

Profound insight: the feeling of being hurt does not actually hurt you. 

Yes yes yes. Thats what Im saying.

I have already downloaded this in my phone.

 

So @Christian whenever a bad thought come to your mind,follow these instructions. Dont let the thought make you suffer again.

As they say,pain is temporary,suffering is an option.

So what our minds creates could be everything. A nice fantasy to the beach , a bad thought of the past, sometimes feeling from past experiences get present again.

We dont have to suffer.

Maybe the world is cruel and unfair,and people fight to each other,but If we let the suffering be our routine,we'll become neurotic and unhappy.

The good thing here is that you can work with your mind and master the bad feelings from the past,even if you feel like ages passed and these experiences destroyed you. Hopefully it is never too late to change. 

[charlie2dogs]

as long as you live and function as the human identity, negative emotions will always be there to overcome, as well as all the other human issues that appear here on this site daily.  one can become the best human being they can, and some do but they still function as the identity, the identity will never be liberated, only the real you can become liberated from the identity, then problems solved.

[Saarah]

@Christian as someone has pointed out the video on strong negative emotions will help you

you don't have to express them, as in scream from a rooftop or cry loads, that doesn't get rid of them, it's about releasing as your title says, releasing and expressing are different things, conduct your emotions with the exercise in the video everytime it arises, soon it will stop because you will have let go of them 

Be careful of distracting yourself because when you do this you're just suppressing them

[Mal]

@Christian You don't release them.  You befriend them and let them speak what they are longing to tell you, in the here and now.  They are trying to protect you from 'old battles' fought in the past.  What would you do if you fought an old battle for your identity and all it did was try to "get rid" of you?

Edited July 15, 2016 by Mal

[Christian]

You're right. Distracting yourself will not help in this endeavor to change an emotional state. I did it for a long time and it did not help.

What did, however, help a little bit was daily meditation where I get in touch with these emotions and experience them as they are -sensations.

It is not a quick-fix in the sense that you do not quickly experience a change in emotions. It is quite subtle, but it definitely is noticeable. So I will continue doing that because I can see that it will make me transcend it and make me arrive at a more comfortable place emotionally.

But are there any other things I can do? 

I'm always open to new ideas

[Zephyr]

 

[Mal]

@Zephyr

Nice