Recommendations

[JessiChell]

I'm finishing up, "The Untethered Soul." 

I really loved it. 

I'm looking for book recommendations on understanding men and then practical guides on how to revisit trauma and release it. 

Thank you. 

[okulele]

'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover' was really good for me as a man (to understand man). Maybe you might also like it?

[JessiChell]

@okulele I looked it up. I think I'm looking for a book that explains to women why men do what they do. 

Understanding how their brains work in relationships and things like that. But thank you for the recommendation!

 

[IJB063]

@JessiChell

On 01/06/2020 at 2:04 AM, JessiChell said:

I'm looking for book recommendations on understanding men

I don’t have any books in my reading list on trauma, but I have two books on that give info on the male mindset, but there not really meant to be looked at as relationship guides for women, they’re more academic, but I think if you really dig deep into the books that you’ll find a bunch of info that is applicable 

1st book

Alpha God: The Psychology of Religious Violence and Oppression

by Hector A. Garcia

Just started reading and definitely gives a bunch of information for anyone who wants to understanding fundamentally the male mentality

2nd book

Promiscuity: An Evolutionary History of Sperm Competition

by Tim Birkhead

Haven’t read this book yet, but from what I understand it comes at human nature from a more academic and scientific perspective and would definitely touch upon the evolutionary core of men’s nature 

Again, these books aren’t relationship manuals but you could probably pull from them useful info if you look for it

I doubt any guys on here are reading about how to understand men lol

Also 

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

by Nathaniel Branden

Was a really good read that might help with

On 01/06/2020 at 2:04 AM, JessiChell said:

 revisit trauma and release it. 

 

[Superfluo]

@JessiChell

For trauma release, in order of wisdom & powerful exercises imo:

The Completion Process - Teal Swan

The Anatomy of Loneliness - Teal Swan

Complex PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving - Pete Walker

Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past - Peter A. Levine & Bessel A. Van Der Kolk

 

Also, here's a complete list of all the techniques and exercises and therapies I found that you could do to return to a healthy mind-body inner balance:

Gestalt therapy

Inner child work

Bioenergetic work

Relational Psychotherapy

Chakra healing

Breathwork

Visualization

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

Freudian Psychoanalysis

Chanting (chakra)

Music

Chromotherapy

hypnotherapy

transpersonal therapy

NLP

Positive psychology

Therapy for cptsd

Autogenic training

Somatic Therapy (also called Somatic Experiencing, SE)

Rosen Work (for sexual and physical abuses) (a type of somatic therapy)

Rolfing (a type of somatic therapy)

Reichian therapy (a type of somatic therapy)

EDMR

Sensorymotor Psychotherapy

Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor (PBSP)

Comprehensive Resource Model (CRM)

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)

Tension, Stress and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE)

Reverse Kegels

Cannabis

Wim Hof Method

The Lefkoe Method

Sedona Method

Shadow Work

Edited June 10, 2020 by Superfluo

[hyruga]

Read men are from Mars, women are from Venus. 

[Michael569]

"Healing the shame that binds you is pretty good" - there are few very effective techniques mostly aimed on the wounded child inside each of us 

[OmniYoga]

On 1.06.2020 at 3:04 AM, JessiChell said:

I'm finishing up, "The Untethered Soul." 

I really loved it. 

I'm looking for book recommendations on understanding men and then practical guides on how to revisit trauma and release it. 

Thank you. 

@JessiChell
The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships - Neil Strauss (Novel - with a lot of psychological explanations) you've both male psyche and trauma inshights( his trauma is specfic emotional incest with his mom ) the ending is naive, as far as I know they are in different state now - highly recommend

The Foutainhead - Ayn Rand - (Novel) is baffling how well she understood how each of male at core level aspire to be, which was manifestation of main character which is Howard Roark

The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera (Novel) pretty much an accurate description what it going in male mind when he needs to choose between his freedom and commitment to a single woman

Iron John - Robert Bly, metaphorical story of male psyche (that might be tough to grasp

woman from venus man from mars - has some good parts as well ( self - help )

[JessiChell]

@OmniYoga @Michael569 @hyruga @Superfluo @IJB063

Holy shit, thank you guys for all the great recommendations. 

Quick question: If I'm drifting to more inner work and hoping one day to lose all desire for romantic relationships, should  spend time on understanding male psychology? 

I would like to learn to love men more instead of projecting the pain I've had in the past from them, onto them. But I think this will come naturally with inner work. What are your thoughts? 

I'm leaning towards Tolle teachings now. (Just as a point of reference.)

Edited June 25, 2020 by JessiChell

[Himanshu]

On 02/06/2020 at 1:17 AM, JessiChell said:

Understanding how their brains work in relationships and things like that.

Why men are the way they are by Warren Farrell <-- This is probably what you are looking for. Be warned, it was published in the 80s by a Mens' Rights Activist when political correctness wasn't a thing. 

On 01/06/2020 at 6:34 AM, JessiChell said:

understanding men

• Dear Lover - David Deida
• Enlightened Sex - David Deida
• From Sex to Superconsciousness - Osho
• He : Understanding Masculine Psychology - Robert Johnson

On 01/06/2020 at 6:34 AM, JessiChell said:

how to revisit trauma and release it

• When the body says no - Gabor Mate
  • Gabor Mate's online lectures are great as well.
• Sedona Method

 

14 hours ago, JessiChell said:

If I'm drifting to more inner work and hoping one day to lose all desire for romantic relationships, should  spend time on understanding male psychology? 

In my experience, inner work and understanding the opposite sex are different things. The finer understanding I have gotten of the opposite sex, (from theory, application, feedback, and reflection), the more fulfilling my relationships have gotten - not just with my partner but with all women in general. With that, losing all desire for romantic relationships isn't something on my radar right now. 

[JessiChell]

@Himanshu Thank you for your response. I will check these things out ?

[Galyna]

On 5/31/2020 at 8:04 PM, JessiChell said:

I'm finishing up, "The Untethered Soul." 

I really loved it. 

I'm looking for book recommendations on understanding men and then practical guides on how to revisit trauma and release it. 

Thank you. 

 I finished that book couple of weeks ago too.

On understanding men? Try "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" by Gray.  I read it probably ten years ago....

The book that impacted my vision of the relationships was "Love, Freedom, Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships" Osho.

I would recommend, perfect guide to freedom and independence. Teaches how to accept and love yourself, how not to cling to your partner. I think that book has transformed me a lot. 

Also, "The Essential Difference" or "He's Just Not That Into You"

Edited July 5, 2020 by Galyna

[JessiChell]

@Galyna Thank you for your recommendations, Galyna. I will check them out.

[Galyna]

@JessiChell You're welcome! Good luck.

[Superfluo]

@JessiChell

Understanding male psychology is very useful and powerful if you're interested in relationships or simply understanding behaviour. Also, our world is ruled mostly by men (stage orange societies), so it can be a wise choice.

However, desiring to eliminate desire for romantic relationship is not healthy if you're not very seriously committed to a spiritual path, if you're reacting to it instead of eliminating it for a higher purpose and higher state of being. You want to isolate yourself from men because you're in pain. IMO you'll find that healing/inner work is the solution you're looking for because it will purify you from your hurt and your negative emotions related to romantic relationships, so that you will be able to experience them with love and happiness. But healing will be hard.

Spiritual bypassing (trying to be spiritual because you're in too much pain) is not healthy, it's dangerous. But you choose.

I'm biased towards Teal Swan, I think she's a very powerful resource for healing, spirituality and relationships.