Spiritual pride

[Nemo28]

Does anyone here experience egoic satisfaction (pride) towards themself for being more advanced than most of the society? I feel superiour to others, knowing myself as awareness and having this ability to detach from the mind. When i look at other people i see them very absorbed into their personalities, activities, always distracted either by phone, headphones or friends, all the time talking and talking. Well the issue i have here is that i experience discomfort seeing myself liking this situation, its as if i enjoy other people suffering, i enjoy seeing their delusion, it gives me sense of superiority, and when i see people trying to become more aware i feel threatened and jealous that they might share the same understanding as i do and i would no longer feel superior and special. I mean its just one feeling among many i have, this is the one of the worst things in me i guess. I felt need to verbalize this. Can anyone relate or im just really fucked up (issues with self esteem maybe)?  

[Nemo28]

@Meta-Man Yeah, im just observing this ^^

[ivankiss]

28 minutes ago, Meta-Man said:

Ego can’t help but ego.

Eloquent and accurate. I salute you, sir.

[mandyjw]

Yep, comes along with believing enlightenment is an attainment. 

 

[kagaria]

@Nemo28 Go and silence yor mind to enter the big mind and end all delusion. This is really the only way. You sound lost. Me too ngl. And that's very silly. We are pebbles and God is a giant ocean. But it's also important to rememeber that we all come from a loving source that supports our psycho-spiritual maturation. We can transcend the illusion anyways. It's a matter of how pure is the mind.

Edited May 31, 2020 by kagaria

[traveler]

Ego thinks awakening or enlightenment is detachment, while it is the exact opposite. The ego's only defense mechanism regarding unwanted feelings is to detach. It has many ideas of how to be "spiritual" and what that entails: you must be quiet and peaceful, be untouched by the world  

Edited May 31, 2020 by traveler

[ivankiss]

@traveler Now we're getting somewhere (now here.nowhere) 

?

[traveler]

29 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@traveler Now we're getting somewhere (now here.nowhere) 

?

?

I'm always only pointing to what is! 

[Nemo28]

2 hours ago, Keyhole said:

If you genuinely connected to awareness in any real authentic way, you would be feeling those other people as well and not seeing them as threats.  They would become a part of you.  You want no one above you and no one to succeed? Then you're still at the bottom of the barrel, be humble.  Be grateful when people overcome their problems because this means the world is healing.

Well i do feel for them, but there is this apsect in me which is jelous and wants to be above, im not identified with those feelings, im just observing what happens within me. I am happy that people become more free generally speaking but there is this pach of dirt that is hating. Im mixed, possesing both the good and bad. I think thats true of many of us, maybe some are not aware of their dirtyness and decieve them that they only consist of rainbows and sunshines. I am selfish son of a bitch but also very kind and compasionate. 

[Nemo28]

1 hour ago, kagaria said:

@Nemo28 Go and silence yor mind to enter the big mind and end all delusion. This is really the only way. You sound lost. Me too ngl. And that's very silly. We are pebbles and God is a giant ocean. But it's also important to rememeber that we all come from a loving source that supports our psycho-spiritual maturation. We can transcend the illusion anyways. It's a matter of how pure is the mind.

Well im never identified with the content of the mind ^^

[bejapuskas]

12 minutes ago, Nemo28 said:

Well i do feel for them, but there is this apsect in me which is jelous and wants to be above, im not identified with those feelings, im just observing what happens within me. I am happy that people become more free generally speaking but there is this pach of dirt that is hating. Im mixed, possesing both the good and bad. I think thats true of many of us, maybe some are not aware of their dirtyness and decieve them that they only consist of rainbows and sunshines. I am selfish son of a bitch but also very kind and compasionate. 

There will come a time where you realize that this is just hunting for the small fish and it aint gonna feed you too well.

[Nemo28]

2 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

There will come a time where you realize that this is just hunting for the small fish and it aint gonna feed you too well.

I have very low dietary requirements

[Nemo28]

17 minutes ago, Meta-Man said:

Awareness alone is curative.

Yup, thats why i made this topic, to put it out there, externalize it. 

 

18 minutes ago, Meta-Man said:

It is extremely liberating not needing to be special or above others.

I know this, but me trying to be not special will only enforce my specialness. So i will just observe what is, whateve form that takes.

[Galyna]

21 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

Does anyone here experience egoic satisfaction (pride) towards themself for being more advanced than most of the society?

I feel shame saying this, but yes. Every time I have a thought like this I try to be super aware of my feelings, thoughts and emotions. 

One of biggest goal to get rid of my arrogance, and the more I achieve in life, the more arrogant my ego becomes. To me it is a pinnacle of my development to be humble about my achievements. I never boast though. But deep inside I feel pride, I do not like it.

[Nemo28]

3 minutes ago, Galyna said:

I feel shame saying this, but yes. Every time I have a thought like this I try to be super aware of my feelings, thoughts and emotions. 

One of biggest goal to get rid of my arrogance, and the more I achieve in life, the more arrogant my ego becomes. To me it is a pinnacle of my development to be humble about my achievements. I never boast though. But deep inside I feel pride, I do not like it.

Honestly i feel like there is no need to get rid of this arrogance, its okay to be arrogant, if you fight it it only grows stronger, the best thing is to hold it in your hands like little baby ^^ 

[VeganAwake]

21 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

Does anyone here experience egoic satisfaction (pride) towards themself for being more advanced than most of the society? I feel superiour to others, knowing myself as awareness and having this ability to detach from the mind. When i look at other people i see them very absorbed into their personalities, activities, always distracted either by phone, headphones or friends, all the time talking and talking. Well the issue i have here is that i experience discomfort seeing myself liking this situation, its as if i enjoy other people suffering, i enjoy seeing their delusion, it gives me sense of superiority, and when i see people trying to become more aware i feel threatened and jealous that they might share the same understanding as i do and i would no longer feel superior and special. I mean its just one feeling among many i have, this is the one of the worst things in me i guess. I felt need to verbalize this. Can anyone relate or im just really fucked up (issues with self esteem maybe)?  

You may be a little shocked when it's recognized the knowing yourself as awareness is still part of the illusion...

nothing recognizing it's nothing, now that's the cosmic joke ?

[Nemo28]

4 minutes ago, Meta-Man said:

Yep. Surrender, surrender, surrender

Yup, in few weeks i will go to ayahuasca ceremony, there i intend to surronder totally, i expect to die even, and im scared a bit..

[Nemo28]

4 minutes ago, VeganAwake said:

You may be a little shocked when it's recognized the knowing yourself as awareness is still part of the illusion...

nothing recognizing it's nothing, now that's the cosmic joke ?

haha i look forward to that

[Nahm]

21 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

I feel superiour to others, knowing myself as awareness

‘Others’ = awareness. Superiority = separatism. Un-narrated awareness = wonderful feeling. 

God is superior, ‘we’ are all parallel.  

Why compare when this love & understanding is without end?  

21 hours ago, Nemo28 said:

this is the one of the worst things in me i guess

“This” is not a thing ‘in you’... It is only a perspective you’re trying on, one of an experiential variance between who you really are, and that thought you’re thinkin about yourself.

Don’t kid yourself, you’re fucking awesome.

Don’t kid yourself, everyone else is too. 

[Nemo28]

18 minutes ago, Meta-Man said:

Bon Voyage

Arigato gozaimasu ^^