Self-Sabatoge

[Chumbimba]

Okay I have seen a recurring theme when it comes to my goals, passions and things I want to accomplish.

I self-sabotage and I self-sabotage because I have a shame and guilt addiction. RN I am studying computer science and taking pre-calculus. The minute I start kicking ass my body and mind shut down. I eat bad food which makes my mind foggy to cover up the emptiness and guilt inside of me when I do make good progress. I had a meditation and visualization habit for 25 days going strong and then all of a sudden, I stop and go back to laziness patterns ( watching TV and eating bad food) I dont know how to stop the cycle. For years I have told myself I hate math and I am terrible at math and now I love it. I guilt myself though for not spending more time working on it and I fail. I quit every goal I try to accomplish. I have never accomplished anything of real value in my life and deep down I hate myself for it. Any tips on how to fix this ? I am tired of failing. I dont want to be at a call-center the rest of my life. I want to be a software engineer but I guilt myself for that goal because I feel as if it is a low consciousness career  

[Roy]

Keep trying and keep trying, then when it gets hard, you keep trying. That's all you can do, there is no magic fix. There are things that will more or less help you to be put on the right track, but you still gotta run it.

Keep trying, I'm rooting for you

[Gladius]

You are already aware of the challenge, and that's already way more than most of people. If that's your goal, just go for it.

[Elton]

@Chumbimba

On the masters journey there is a concept of accepting the plateau.

Loving the practice itself, the reward is the practice. Honing yours skills.

Be sure of homeostasis in the masters journey as per what George Leonard has to say in his book. The problem is backsliding and you could learn how to avoid it.. there is a video on. Actualized and also you can kind ideas in the book the big leap and mastery to overcome them. Reading those two books will be definitely worth your time. 

Also drop the perfectionist mindset .. remember the ' when I criticise I rob myself from my future auxim?'

Few tips to deal with negative emotions 

Sedonas Letting go technique

Feel them completely

Accept them 

Think about the thought causing the emotion and reframe your thoughts through affirmation and visualizations.

 

 

[supremeyingyang]

@Chumbimba

The Struggle you experience is a normal part of the Growth. You experience Backsliding (Leo made a Video on that, watch it if you don't know it already).

Yeah Tech is highly unhealthy but you can accumulate wealth rather easy. By the way I don't know Calculus a bit and found a Job. If even I could do it (it was really highly unlikely) you can do easily. You just have to stay on Track if you want that

Don't beat yourself up, you'll be fine if you implement one thing at a time. One step at a time and it's highly likely that in 5 Years you are so advanced like would never even dare to dream.

[Average Investor]

That is ego backlash. I'd suggest really building one habit at a time until you can get it to stick easier. It can take about two months to get something to stick and even then it is tough depending on what you want to do. This is where you start hitting resistance on making a real change in your life and why you see most not able to make a sustainable change. You need to let the cycle play out, but do the best that you can to maintain the habit your are building and the ones you have built. Ideally I would just build a really strong meditation or exercise habit and keep that at the forefront not matter how you feel. 

On 5/29/2020 at 4:06 PM, Chumbimba said:

I have never accomplished anything of real value in my life and deep down I hate myself for it

You got to work on getting out of this mindset. Work on building positive thoughts and building a positive attitude. It's a tough one I struggled with for a long time, but you are in control of your thoughts. Practice catching yourself when you say something negative about yourself and change the thought to positive. Instead of thinking "wow I did not do good", think I am going to change or improve for next time. Keep playing those Earl videos or some Napoleon Hill and really work on making that stuff stick. 

You're doing great as I have seen your progress. You have to consider not many at all are even willing to consider doing deep personal development work. It's a lot of work, but you know it's worth it. You just have to keep trying and taking the little wins.