1p-LSD trip report – mostly fear and paranoia

[Matteo]

Two days ago, I took 1 tab of 1p-LSD in the afternoon. I did it alone in my room. I wasn’t sure about the potency because the substance is two years old, and I didn’t keep it in the fridge. It still had around half of the regular potency of when I bought it. The effects on the visual field were very mild, but it had effects on thoughts, emotions and body. It made me feel some weird nausea and uncomfortableness. What was most uncomfortable was my thoughts and feelings. Similarly to a trip I did two weeks ago, I felt paranoia and agitation. There where some insights and some answers to question I had, but nothing really groundbreaking. It looks like psychedelics have the effect of exaggerating all my fears: I’m afraid that people will hurt me and manipulate me, even if they look friendly in the beginning. For some reason, I’m afraid of ghosts and entities, even though I haven’t never seen one. When I’m on psychedelics, it’s late evening and I stare outside the door of my room where there is some darkness, I feel that something or somebody may suddenly appear and terrify me.

 

Since I started pursuing spirituality, I feel that I developed other fears that I didn’t have before. I’m afraid of solipsism, I’m afraid that spiritual teachers might mislead me, I’m afraid of misleading myself if I don’t listen to teachers and do everything by myself. I don’t know who’s biased and in which way. I’m afraid of going insane. I’m afraid that psychedelics may harm me, because I’m not in a good, stable and calm place in my life. I wanted to take them to gain some clarity, but it looks like they give me both clarity and confusion. I’m afraid that I wouldn’t be able to relate to other people anymore if I keep going, because when I’m on psychedelics I see other people as if they are hypnotized, asleep, drunk, and I fear that they will drag me into that. I’m afraid that I will never be happy, and I feel stupid for not being able after 10 years of trial and error to get to a place where I can at least say that “I’m fine”.

 

I thought also that I may need a stronger dose. On one side I think it could be dangerous and make me insane, but on the other side I remember that when I did stronger dosages in the past, the substance was lifting me up above all fears and into love and beauty. It’s like if I don’t take enough, I get stuck in a state of increased awareness of all the shit that I have inside me, but it doesn’t go deep enough to touch that love which would heal them.

 

The trip lasted around 10 hours, which was definitely too much for me. I didn’t feel like it was too much two years ago when I did the same substance, but I feel it’s too much for me now. My body is much more sensitive right now to what’s good for it and what isn’t, and I feel it doesn’t like 1p-LSD much.

 

I don’t know if psychedelics are doing me any good right now. What I’m thinking about, is to wait two weeks and then do 3 grams of mushrooms, making a tea with some lemon. That should make the trip strong enough to rise above all that fear, but much shorter and manageable.  I need to be completely by myself, because even if one person it’s in the house, even if not in the same room, even if I told him exactly what I’m doing, during the trip I start worrying that him might be worried about me, which usually is what’s happening.

 

Maybe I should focus on building a solid “normal” life first. A house that doesn’t suck, an income that doesn’t come from my parents, some stable friendships, a life purpose. But maybe psychedelics can help me achieve all of those things, if used correctly. I’m confused.

 

I came to spirituality to achieve peace and happiness, that’s what I care about. That’s because I wasn’t happy and at peace for most of my life, and that’s still not the case. Maybe I’m in the wrong place.

 

 

 

[Javfly33]

Trust your gut and heart when it comes when doing psychedelics.

Forget about using "reasoning" in this kind of things. Sometimes working on more "down to hearth" stuff is the correct thing, yet other times going towards more profound and trascendence approaches are the best to actually get "things moving" in everything else.

There´s no correct answer, I can´t tell to you what you should do. You should really listen to yourself. What does your intuition tells you? 

[Leo Gura]

All those fears you're going to have to work through and face. That's YEARS of tripping and integration work right there.

Buckle in, it's gonna be one hell of a ride.

Too much? You haven't even begun yet.

[Leo Gura]

 

[Matteo]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

 

I feel that I don't have a choice but facing my fears if I ever want to be happy. I'm just asking myself if this is a healthy way of doing that, or if could be damaging and traumatizing. I don't really understand how "facing fears" works.

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, Matteo said:

I feel that I don't have a choice but facing my fears if I ever want to be happy. I'm just asking myself if this is a healthy way of doing that, or if could be damaging and traumatizing. I don't really understand how "facing fears" works.

There are healthy and unhealthy ways. Depends on how you do it.

If you take 10g of mushrooms, yeah, it will be traumatizing.

It's hard to know where the line is until you cross it.

After 30 days of 5-MeO-DMT, I crossed that line and had to back off. But that took 30 days of epic tripping to cross it.

And everyone's different, so no one can tell you where your line is.

Facing fear is a requirement of Love.

[StarStruck]

I panicked with my first lsd trip too because it caught me off guard. Just be careful not to get caught in vicious cycles. 

[Artaemis]

@Leo Gura ♥️

[Matteo]

@StarStruck it's strange because I've done 10 trips on lsd two years ago, and I had panic just one time. why didn't all that fear came up at that time?

[John Iverson]

30 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

There are healthy and unhealthy ways. Depends on how you do it.

If you take 10g of mushrooms, yeah, it will be traumatizing.

It's hard to know where the line is until you cross it.

After 30 days of 5-MeO-DMT, I crossed that line and had to back off. But that took 30 days of epic tripping to cross it.

And everyone's different, so no one can tell you where your line is.

Facing fear is a requirement of Love.

The magnitude and intensity of that is so vast, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much to handle my 2 mushroom trip I vomited it, not all I want to make sure I can challenge myself to conquer it but damn! Even the one I told myself oh this state I can handle, I 'm surprised how it's a different kind of magnitude after a while. I realize the magnitude of myself, it's enormous I understand now every time you 're going to say again and again how massive God is, it's gigantic if God meets you can't handle it ... you'll be shocked you'll shrink back, not all is for this kind of journey, 

i realize this right now by remembering it, 

even I don't want to trip as of now there is a part of me wanting to go back , cuz it's so magical the feeling that you want also to go back 

[StarStruck]

1 hour ago, Matteo said:

@StarStruck it's strange because I've done 10 trips on lsd two years ago, and I had panic just one time. why didn't all that fear came up at that time?

It is hard to predict but panic is basically resistance to something so that is a good indicator to use when following the bread crumbs. 

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, John Iverson said:

The magnitude and intensity of that is so vast, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much to handle my 2 mushroom trip I vomited it, not all I want to make sure I can challenge myself to conquer it but damn! Even the one I told myself oh this state I can handle, I 'm surprised how it's a different kind of magnitude after a while. I realize the magnitude of myself, it's enormous I understand now every time you 're going to say again and again how massive God is, it's gigantic...

It's not just gigantic, it's Infinite.

[Forestluv]

Imagine human consciousness condensed into ant consciousness. Then keep multiplying by 2. . . . 

[MrMog]

I had a pretty similar experience with 1P-LSD around a month ago. For me it really lasted for over 24 hours. I experienced so much fear. I don't have a job and my parents still give me money to live a minimal lifestyle. Also i like my life most of the time. I have good frienships, i meditate for 1-2 hours every day and i go to the gym 6 times per week but i often feel like there is something missing. Maybe i should get a handle on becoming really independent first before i start experimenting with psychedelics. I just really dont like working...and i'm already 33. 

Edited May 29, 2020 by MrMog

[astrokeen]

@Matteo , I had an Lsd trip recently. I did feel the kind of fears you experienced at the start. What changed it for me was the music I was listening to. I was lying down with shades and headphones on. It allowed me to let go, go deep within and be open to whatever came my way. 

I've written about the music here. Without it, I Believe my trip would have been a bad one.