Resistance against tripping again

[Identity]

In the past 3 years I’ve done around 50 trips with psylocibin truffles.

For the past 6 months I haven’t tripped, which was good to integrate.

For the last month or two I have planned multiple nights to do another trip, but have found excuses to bail every time.

Tonight I have planned to trip, everything is in place.

However, I feel major resistance against doing it.

Any tips on how I can do it and go in feeling relatively good and able to surrender?

[wesyasz]

If you doesn't feel to do it, why do you force it? 

[Identity]

Because to walk my highest path I choose to break open my blockages

[wesyasz]

If you didn't brake your blockages in 50 trips why do you think more trips will do anything?

Isn't resistance a feeling already that it is not the way?

How would you describe the highest path?

Edited May 28, 2020 by wesyasz

[Identity]

Many blockages have been broken, but there are many more things to let go of.

Also, I feel that some of the fluidity I established had reconguiled, so to speak.

[wesyasz]

What if there is no end to the blockages?

[Identity]

Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t.

Should you not walk the path if there is no destination?

Have you ever tried psychedelics?

[wesyasz]

Yes I did, but only a few times and I feel resistance too, that's why I decided to engage in this topic. And I feel my resistance is telling me that it leads nowhere. I also think that desire to change something and melt all the blockages is a trap to imagined moment, "when I go through my blockages then I will be happy with the present moment". But if there is infinite number of blockages and things to heal, that may never happen, until we finally realize that the present moment is already here and all we need to do is to accept it and love it and ourselves unconditionally. 

Edited May 28, 2020 by wesyasz

[Identity]

Fuck, I was looking for someone to talk me into the trip, not out of it ?

Now I’m confused ?

[wesyasz]

I'm sorry I didn't met your expectations . Maybe somebody will join with different point of view! And just do what you feel is best for you!

[Seraphim]

You could receive shaktipat instead, if you find a powerful one it can be equally powerful yet without any negative side-effects.

[Corpus]

40 minutes ago, Identity said:

Many blockages have been broken, but there are many more things to let go of.

Also, I feel that some of the fluidity I established had reconguiled, so to speak.

Analyse why your resistance arises, see it as just a thought, ensure your setting is optimal and apply that lubricant.

[outlandish]

Is there something underlying this resistance, or are you just being lazy?

I think I know what you're getting at @Identity - sometimes tripping can be a bit like a going to the gym or going for a run. It's something that you can kind of instinctively resist against because it's easier to sit on the couch and eat cheetos and watch netflix, but if you actually step up to the plate, you rarely regret it afterwards. If that's what's going on, then just do it man.

If you've done your homework and set up the right conditions for the trip, if you're taken a healthy break since your last trip, and done the integration to a level that you find satisfactory from previous trips, and you're mentally in a good place, then those are all things that point to going for it.

So if it's just a kind of spiritual laziness kicking in, then here is your kick in the pants to get off your ass and to the work.

[Identity]

@outlandish

Thank you, kick received.

Turning off my phone now.

❤️??

[legendary]

I was in a similar situation as you last month.

What helped me was writing down my intentions for the trip a week before the trip. I also tried completing other tertiary tasks before that date so that I had no excuses left on the day.

[ivory]

@Identity Maybe you don't need to trip. If you don't want to do it, then don't. If you do, then to it. Learn to trust your higher guidance.

[Leo Gura]

If you are not ready to trip, do not trip. That's my rule. It has to feel "right". It's a bit like launching a rocket. You make a plan to launch tomorrow, but that doesn't mean you will launch if something looks off on launch day. You abort and wait for another good day. And if you have to abort several days in a row, that tells you that you maybe shouldn't trip this month -- that you have more integration work to do.

[allislove]

If you feel major resistance for the trip - lower the dose.
Next time you can return to your originally planned dose.
It has to feel "right", agree with Leo.

[Identity]

Yes, I took a low dose. I’m glad I did the trip, it showed me a lot. Crazy how these days even a little bit can take me to intens places.

It felt more of a higher self vs lower self battle before taking it. 

16 hours ago, Meta-Man said:

It’s like bungee jumping. You just have to jump at some point.

?? Go to war

Thanks man, listened to this on the comedown and couldn’t stop laughing and dancing ??

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If you are not ready to trip, do not trip. That's my rule. It has to feel "right". It's a bit like launching a rocket. You make a plan to launch tomorrow, but that doesn't mean you will launch if something looks off on launch day. You abort and wait for another good day. And if you have to abort several days in a row, that tells you that you maybe shouldn't trip this month -- that you have more integration work to do.

It was more like there was a clear blue sky, but the astronaut was pissing his pants ?

[knakoo]

17 hours ago, wesyasz said:

Yes I did, but only a few times and I feel resistance too, that's why I decided to engage in this topic. And I feel my resistance is telling me that it leads nowhere. I also think that desire to change something and melt all the blockages is a trap to imagined moment, "when I go through my blockages then I will be happy with the present moment". But if there is infinite number of blockages and things to heal, that may never happen, until we finally realize that the present moment is already here and all we need to do is to accept it and love it and ourselves unconditionally. 

Maybe if you feel resistance it is just that your ego is afraid to die.