When she doesn't feel the spark anymore

[F A B]

I'm quite familiar with this scenario:

I date a girl and we make out for some weeks, but then she loses interest.

Why?

[Peo]

Go to the next girl maybe.

[Roy]

Maybe your futures haven't aligned? Or you haven't been stimulating enough to hang out with past quick flings?

You'll have to be more specific.

[F A B]

@Roy

I think the problem is my behavior change. At the beginning I'm fine, I can create attraction easily. Then, when things are going well, I become maybe too involved. As always, I text just a few messages a day and ask her out normally (around twice a week). What really changes is on real interactions, I show more and more affection. I never tell romantic words, but I tell them subconsciously. I like to kiss her massively hoping to open her through love.

[Roy]

What you're describing sounds like you're smothering and coming from a place of neediness. Texting every day and going out a few times a week is too much early on, assuming you're talking about less than 1-2 months into the relationship. Women need time to breathe and process about how they feel about you emotionally (and hang out with their friends where she'll talk about you). They don't get that space if you're always there. Also showing so much affection and hoping to open her up is just more of the neediness.

It's counter-intuitive because it's so tempting to want to seal and lock the relationship down if you're really into them, but consider being more detached at this stage of relationship. Make them message or call you some days and leave a sense of mystery. If there are days with no contact, it's easy to freak out and panic, but don't worry it's not like they've forgotten you exist already. Also don't share everything so fast and (sometimes) give off an attitude like you don't care. It drives them wild and they'll crave wanting to be with you for the next date if you do it right.

Think of it as protecting the flame gently after having that spark. If you smother it or try to stoke it too much you'll lose it.

Hope this helps - Roy

Edited May 26, 2020 by Roy

[IJB063]

@F A B

You haven’t given any information for us to know why she’d lose interest buddy

23 minutes ago, F A B said:

Then, when things are going well, I become maybe too involved.

You just answered you’re own question

@Roy is right, it is needy

When you try to lock a girl down it’s showing you’re desperate, it’s her job to lock you down 

Women are repulsed when men are more attached than they are, that’s your issue buddy, you’re too attached

Why would you be making this post if you weren’t 

My recommendation is to see more women, you’re not in a relationship right now, it should be easy if you can 

26 minutes ago, F A B said:

create attraction easily

 

 

[F A B]

Thank you @Roy, I guess I should tattoo your message on my right arm ahaha

I cannot deny that I give too much too soon and that as the relationship develops I tend to become needy and always present.

[F A B]

8 minutes ago, IJB063 said:

When you try to lock a girl down it’s showing you’re desperate, it’s her job to lock you down 

Women are repulsed when men are more attached than they are, that’s your issue buddy, you’re too attached

I like that one

I struggle to figure out whether to give love/acceptance/presence vs be detached/not caring.

Obviously, when they tell me they are unsure, I cut every contact, but it's too late. (sometimes they reach back)

[IJB063]

@F A B

They reach back because they’re not sure if they made the right call ditching you, which means you’re doing something right

But it also means your not there too priority brother

9 minutes ago, F A B said:

struggle to figure out whether to give love/acceptance/presence vs be detached/not caring.

Relationships are all about give and take

You love her as much as she loves you

Whats best I would say is you love her slightly less than she loves you, that way she’s chasing you and she’s worried that you’ll lose interest

Detachment is not something you choose it’s something you become, you become detached by not being to needy and clingy 

And you do that by knowing youre hot shit and any girl would be lucky to have you

And if they don’t think your hot shit they can fuck off and you’ll find a girl who does

[flume]

@F A B Hi! I think this video explains it pretty well: www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFsZR9N03Dk& This guys channel might have some good advice for you in general. As a woman, I can definitely see now why some men are just more attractive than others  Enjoy!