Girlfriend can't have children

[Derek White]

The human population is skyrocketing and there are literally millions of children who go hungry everyday, and yet people want to burden the world with their own children. Frankly, the idea of having children disgusts me when there is so much overpopulation and so many children without parents. 

[Derek White]

39 minutes ago, The Don said:

Because Western civilization is fading away. We are losing it.

No it’s not.

It’s the exact opposite.

That’s what conservatives say all the time everywhere. Go to Middle East, China, or India, conservatives are always paranoid about their culture fading.

English is spoken literally everywhere in the world, including places like Africa, China and Japan. The internet is in English. The ‘Western’ art, clothing, science, and music is prevalent everywhere.

Yet you still believe ‘Western Civilization’ is fading...

[Girzo]

4 hours ago, The Don said:

Because Western civilization is fading away. We are losing it.

Oh no, old people who die will be replaced by an influx of young immigrants from overpopulated, developing countries. What a tragedy, I can feel the impending doom. Or if not, then it's worse, the population will go down by a STAGGERING 1 or 2% in the next few decades.

By the way, why do you want to save that Western civilization so bad, it's the same civilisation that doesn't want to have many kids. Maybe you should consider moving to some Eastern country, they share more opinions with you than Western folks apparently.

3 hours ago, Derek White said:

That’s what conservatives say all the time everywhere. Go to Middle East, China, or India, conservatives are always paranoid about their culture fading.

You know, I think it's not that much of a culture thing as much as it is Spiral Dynamics thing. The conservatives are stage Blue-Orange and they are fearing that stage Red Arab or African people would try to destroy their institutions. And they fear that kind of rightly so, because that's what they will do if they are not given a healthy way to grow and a sense of purpose.

That's why I think they have no problem with Japan or South Korea. They are Orange, too, but a different culture. People use kaizen, drive Honda, and watch anime.  Culture doesn't seem to be a problem there. They would like China, because it's Blue, but it's their rival, so us versus them thinking comes in, so they have to hate them.

[Username]

You should be happy. Not having children means that you have more time for your beloved girl. Do you really want to be with her??? I don't get it..

[Preety_India]

 

Lol I guess everyone is done Gaslighting the poor guy for not adopting kids. 

See, adoption is a choice. You can't guilt someone if they don't want to. 

Some people are unable to love kids who are not their biological children. Is that okay? 

Respect people's authenticity. 

Maybe this is the reason why some people just can't open up about their frank feelings. 

Telling someone to do what you think is morally superior is imposing your will on them..respect the freedom of individual choices. Not everyone has to do what you think is right.

 

 

[RendHeaven]

8 hours ago, The Don said:

Because Western civilization is fading away. We are losing it.

Too much Jordan Peterson is not very healthy, my man. He is wrong about many, many things.

[RendHeaven]

16 hours ago, The Don said:

@Leo Gura - it's a great thing to discover the illusory nature of reality.

I don't deny that reality is an illusion and I'm certainly not against reality as being as it is; imaginary.

You have absolutely no clue as to what "illusory" and "imaginary" entails, and if you do, you are severely underestimating it.

I recommend not listening to anything Leo says (forget about infinity, love, consciousness, God, ego, nothingness, imagination, etc.) until you've first reached a profound state of not-knowing.

As far as I can tell, you sincerely believe that you know certain things that you are not willing to let go of. This prevents you from understanding transcendent principles beyond the mind.

[Derek White]

4 hours ago, Girzo said:

You know, I think it's not that much of a culture thing as much as it is Spiral Dynamics thing. The conservatives are stage Blue-Orange and they are fearing that stage Red Arab or African people would try to destroy their institutions. And they fear that kind of rightly so, because that's what they will do if they are not given a healthy way to grow and a sense of purpose.

That's why I think they have no problem with Japan or South Korea. They are Orange, too, but a different culture. People use kaizen, drive Honda, and watch anime.  Culture doesn't seem to be a problem there. They would like China, because it's Blue, but it's their rival, so us versus them thinking comes in, so they have to hate them.

The fear that stage red immigrants will destroy stage blue-orange institutions is irrational imo. It stems from a lack of exposure to immigrants. Actually, most immigrants have much in common with conservatives. Besides, children of immigrants won’t be stage red or blue. It’s not a good reason to have kids.

Conservatives also care about protecting culture. They want immigrants to speak their language, wear their clothes, celebrates their festivals, and consider their culture as superior. They fear that their religion is fading. Some extremists fear that their race is fading.

Immigrants speak western languages, wear western clothes, study in western schools, actually earn their citizenship, leave everything behind, and much more. Their children can barely speak their language. What will they have to do to be accepted into “western civilization“?

[Solvinden]

Thank you so much for the very helpful comments (at least most of them are)!!!
I've contemplated this question deeper the last few days and we came to an extremely satisfying conclusion.

However, I still want to ponder this question deeper independently of all that
because my thinking still doesn't feel quite "right". On the deepest level my desire for
having children stems from a certain feeling that I really NEED to do that and that the alternative is extremely bad.
But if I observe this feeling I can find no valid reason for its truth. Nevertheless, I'm just stuck in this view, and it feels dirty and not good.
I guess that's survival, which is suffering, in play as mentioned in Leo's videos on survival.
My goal needs to be to have absolute clarity on this topic (without mixed-feelings).

I'm not quite there yet. However, I'm not fixed on a certain end result of my inquiry.

Further input is much appreciated!
 

[RendHeaven]

7 hours ago, Solvinden said:

having children stems from a certain feeling that I really NEED to do that and that the alternative is extremely bad.
But if I observe this feeling I can find no valid reason for its truth. Nevertheless, I'm just stuck in this view, and it feels dirty and not good.
I guess that's survival

EPIC insight. Keep going

[stopwow]

I don't have any relationship experience, but do you love her?

[Solvinden]

@stopwow I do.

I answered the question for me completely. If I stay with her and have children or do not have children, if I leave her and have children or do not have children: It doesn't make any difference. Passing my genes on would probably lead to very happy and gifted children. However, in the end it's not important whatsoever.

Have a good day!