Isn't doing self help implying that you are not good enough as you are? It is something I don't get or at least: I can't explain it to myself. For example if you tell yourself you look good as you are and you go and do a nose job, are you really? This can be applied to self help too. You accept yourself as you are and afterwards you are trying to change major parts of yourself. I noticed that my inner self is resisting to the idea of changing and self improving because of this inconsistency. I feel self neglected, being lied to and thus I lose my drive. Self sabotage is also a thing that happens. What I'm really asking, I think, is how to accept yourself, not neglect your inner child, and at the same time try to change him. For me personally I think this feeling of self neglect stems from my childhood.