Self help and accepting how you are

[Javfly33]

15 hours ago, Mystica45 said:

Self help is no different than spirituality - you are trying to GET SOMEWHERE. 

Self help is a result of society telling you you are not okay as you are

Or just you observing that your behaviour produces suffering in your life, so you want to change.

Hasn't be motivated by society always 

[Javfly33]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Your mistake is conflating truth realization with changes or improvements in one's behavior. These are independent things.

Even awakened people can have addictions, "bad" behavior, and other stuff. That's called being human. Realizing what is true will not automatically make you a saint. Survival is still a powerful force that remains post-awakening.

But is it really the same Awakening and enlightenment?

If after Awakening you still have to work on yourself hard to become less ego-centric (which is from where all neuroticism arises) and more God-like, and enlightenment is the definition of being in an state of God-like, then wouldn't be really enlightenment the actual destination everybody is going towards by doing this work?

After all when you are doing self-actualization all you are doing is removing the delusion and confusion in your psyche about certain aspects of yourself. An honest mind would never need self-actualization. Isn't self-actualization just truth discovering but on the personal level? For me it feels that way.

[LfcCharlie4]

@StarStruck

Awakening is the realization of the truth of your own being, and abiding as that. 

You become more human than ever before, not someone who now floats in the sky with wings

The understanding can take 'time' to permeate all areas of your life, it's not quite as simple as have 1 awakening then suddenly all your health, money & relationships are magically in order.

Enlightenment is the end to ALL your problems, but not in the way you think.

You no longer see these things as problems, just situations arising in this moment in which relatively speaking, action needs to be taken. 

Awakening brings about a complete acceptance for whatever arises in the now, THIS DOES NOT mean you never take action again. 

You have a car accident? You accept it and take the appropriate action, you don't simply stay in the car forever and never get out. 

You lose your job? You go and find a new one, or start a business or whatever, you don't just let yourself starve to death. 

What awakening removes is the resistance to the now, the flaw finder that is the mind is seen through. 

Therefore, life is lived without resistance, this does not mean life is suddenly a never ending day in the candy shop, if you are living an active life (e.g. not a monk / yogi meditating all day or a hermit in a cave) human things will arise that need to be dealt with. 

Habits and thought patterns that have been there for potentially decades, still need to be dealt with, this includes subtle addictions, behaviors and what not. 

Awakening and Personal Development are not mutually exclusive. 

Doing Self-Development as a means to finding happiness of course is a dead end, Money won't make you happy, making gains won't make you happy etc etc. 

However, I am not saying they won't make you feel better, or give some Fulfillment, for example you will likely feel a lot better eating a clean diet and working out, rather than drinking beer all day and eating fast food. However, here I am talking about absolute happiness. 

The source of absolute peace and happiness, is realized when you awaken to the truth around your own being. 

However, life then becomes a celebration and an expression of this understanding and this happiness and love you now feel. 

From this place, Personal Development can help you relatively speaking with whatever issue it is you have, whether it's money, relationships, fitness etc, but you are not seeking happiness in them, you are simply doing it because you want to & for the fun of it. 

You go to the gym to not only improve your body and fitness, but because you enjoy working out (maybe not at first) 

You build a business, because you want to provide value, enjoy running a business and would like financial freedom. 

However, the big difference is post-awakening is that you are happy either way. 

Life simply becomes a celebration and you can do whatever the fuck it is that you want, that's Absolute Freedom, there is NO rules. This is why it's important you sit down and decide what you actually want for your life, and then you go out there and do it, Leo's video on life advice for young people is great. 

But, keep in mind you do not have to choose between PD and Awakening, they are very much compatible. 

But, you also don't have to do PD if you don't want to, you could spend your days meditating in a cave, or just living a normal life, it's up to you and it's your life- do whatever the fuck you want!

Edited May 28, 2020 by LfcCharlie4

[StarStruck]

@LfcCharlie4 thanks for the explanation. I’m familiar with stoic philosophy and I know what you are taking about but it is hard to implement. 

I’m just curious about how an awakened person perceives an addiction. An addiction is resistance or escapism. Your body and mind runs away from a thing. So as an awakened person you can perform an addiction or not perform your addiction, and you are ok with both? It is kind of confusing for me if you are also doing self help. I guess one also has to be stoic when going against your own addiction, if you chose to do so. 

Quote: “Life simply becomes a celebration and you can do whatever the fuck it is that you want, that's Absolute Freedom, there is NO rules. This is why it's important you sit down and decide what you actually want for your life, and then you go out there and do it, Leo's video on life advice for young people is great.“ End quote.

If you chose something for your life for example success, doesn’t it mean you don’t chose the other thing such as failure? How can you be ok with both succes and failure at the same time if you chose?

Edited May 28, 2020 by StarStruck

[LfcCharlie4]

4 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

@LfcCharlie4 thanks for the explanation. I’m familiar with stoic philosophy and I know what you are taking about but it is hard to implement. 

“I’m just curious about how an awakened person perceives an addiction. An addiction is resistance or escapism. Your body and mind runs away from a thing. So as an awakened person you can perform an addiction or not perform your addiction, and you are ok with both? It is kind of confusing for me if you are also doing self help. I guess one also has to be stoic when going against your own addiction, if you chose to do so. 

“Life simply becomes a celebration and you can do whatever the fuck it is that you want, that's Absolute Freedom, there is NO rules. This is why it's important you sit down and decide what you actually want for your life, and then you go out there and do it, Leo's video on life advice for young people is great.“

If you chose something for your life for example success, doesn’t it mean you don’t chose the other thing such as failure? How can you be ok with both succes and failure at the same time if you chose?

In regards to the addiction, yes just whitewashing it with a veneer of Advaita isn’t going to do the trick. 

It’s very easy to say “oh well yeah I’m addicted to porn and watch it 5 times a day but it’s all appearing in awareness so it’s cool” 

Its hard to actually have the self-love to know you deserve and can express your sexuality in a much healthier and loving way and take the steps to overcome this addiction. 
 

as you say, addiction is coming from a sense of lack, especially extreme addiction. But, it is also habit forming, so may take time to reverse these old habits. 
 

For example, let’s say you have an argument with someone, usually you’d have your favourite ice cream now, you would have to change that behaviour pattern, which may take some work. 
 

So, it would also be an idea to investigate why you are involving yourself with this addiction, a lot of these issues will likely be resolved before you even get to awakening work, but some subtle ones may remain and will again involve investigation and the necessary relative steps to overcome. 
 

just to be clear whether you are a successful billionaire with a jacked body & the dream life or a bum on the street injecting heroin makes 0 difference absolutely speaking, but relatively it will have a huge impact on your existence, the absolute is always at peace and happy no matter what, it’s quite the paradox. 

However, addictions overall come from a place of lack, hence need to be investigated.

This doesn’t mean you cant do things like drink alcohol or smoke weed or eat unhealthy food after awakening as a celebration, the difference is you aren’t doing it from a sense of lack to fill a void! 

When I say you are “okay” with whatever happens, I simply mean your inherent peace and happiness are not threatened by it, it doesn’t mean you won’t be sad or angry when things happen, it just means your true nature and absolute happiness is always unaffected. 
 

For example, let’s say you start a business and it does bust and you lose the business, you will of course be upset and potentially angry etc, BUT you, absolutely speaking, will still be happy and at peace, if you have awakened. 
 

It’s quite the paradox and can be hard to understand, especially for the mind, my advice would be dive deep enough into awakening, and find out these truths for yourself! 
 

here’s some videos & articles that explain it better than I can 

https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/read/addiction_porn_and_pseudo_advaita
 

 

 

[StarStruck]

@LfcCharlie4 I had this thought this morning: one can wish for a good life because it had a bad life and one “deserves it” to ease the pain of that wound or... one can wish for a good life without that compulse. 

I think the same can be applied to life purpose. You can have a life purpose to fill the void of feeling like a loser or you can have a life purpose without that impulse. 

Edited May 28, 2020 by StarStruck

[LfcCharlie4]

@StarStruck Yeah, it can be applied to anything mate. 
 

One can have sex to fill a void, or one can have sex for the joy of it and as an expression of love & happiness. 
 

The best Law Of Attraction teachers will tell you that first, become happy and “raise your vibration” and realise you don’t need anything to make you happy, and then from this place you can manifest whatever you want for the fun of it, not because you need it to be happy.