I healed my chronic pain

[TheSource]

Hello to everyone,

I just want to share my success story about how I healed my chronic pain in my neck and shoulder. I was inspired by Leo´s attempt to find out how to heal oneself (and possibly others). By sharing my success, maybe you feel inspired too. The method I chose was 250 µg 1P-LSD and and an open mind of what´s possible.

Background:

The pain started 2 years ago when my girlfriend and I broke up. During the relationship, I more and more realized that she showed all the classical symptoms of a cluster B-personality. Before the relationship I did not even know what Borderline-personality-disorder was and so I constantly tried to fix and help her (not possible) which was unbelievably tiring and soul crushing. Honestly, I feared the day I finally had the balls to leave her because in advance of it I informed myself of what to expect. In a nutshell: It seemed she wanted to destroy me. She tried to turn my family and friends against me with false accusations (like that I`ve beaten her or that I am a drug addict), she tried to steal my apartment and tried to rip of my money. This was when the pain started and did not leave me for 2 years. Sometimes it was lighter, sometimes very painful so that I woke up at night and had to take pain medication. It was obvious that this cannot go on forever, especially at my young age. So, I tried physiotherapy, massages, chiropractic, pain meds, cortison-injections into the muscles, (even more) sports and stretching. At some point I had to accept that the pain was psychosomatic. But why?

Before the trip:

I verbalized the intention for my trip: I want to find out why the pain lasts in my body although we live separate lives since two years. What unconscious aspects are causing it?

The trip (only the relevant aspects):

Although having a clear intention of healing myself. Working on this topic was not possible for the first 4 h of the trip. Actually, the dose of 250 µg was too high to do "personal" work at the peak because, well, there was no ego and no thoughts. At the peak, I bathed in pure love and unification with the divine. The positivity of the peak was a beautiful primer for the actual work. So after approx. 4 h I started to work on the actual reason why I went into the trip: Healing my pain. I started to ask myself: What`s the reason for my pain? Why isn`t it leaving me? Why I can`t let it go? I immediately felt some kind of strange resistance. It was not verbalized in my head but the feeling said: "Why going into this territory? Fear! Fear! Don`t do it!"

This fear lasted only a moment as I was determined to resolve my pain and the resistance felt was only an indicator that things were getting real, real work will be done and real progress will be made. The LSD opened me up so that the resistance of my ego broke and I was able to see what was causing my pain. The revelation was literally breathtaking, relieving and merciful. When I realized the cause, I cried not because of sadness but because of relieve and joy. I was finally able to see that in the past, despite what I told myself, I was not able to forgive her. Yes, I lied to myself that I forgave her because my spiritual ego told me that I forgave and at the same time my ego started to calling her names. Making her my enemy. Although I always knew that I had such thoughts, I could never step out that negative downward spiral of labeling her my enemy. I was still taking her crazy actions personal. I thought everything she did was headed against me. -- But no, all the crazyness, the lies, the pain... It was never about me. It was her way to cope with her inner childhood-trauma. She was trapped in her ego-mind not able to see that she was loved so much. And the only way she learned doing things was to cause havoc because this is the way she learned it in her traumatic childhood. I knew after this was revealed to me, I would stop "hating" her and love her (not in a romantic way though). I saw again the good sides she had (she was really brilliant in many aspects) which were too often covered by her illness. That such a brilliant and beautiful woman cannot live up to even a tiny fraction of her potential is heartbreaking. This does not deserve hate but compassion. Whatever she did to me was not personal. It was never about me and will never be about me. From that moment on, I forgave her from the bottom of my heart and send my blessings to her.

After taking a few breaths and feeling this incredible cathartic moment, the pain stopped. The tension in the muscles was gone. I was pain free and at that moment I was sure that it will not return (I still waited 3.5 weeks before writing this, just to be sure).

After the trip:

I am amazed and somehow surprised how well this worked out for me. The moment of real forgiving was so honest and purifying, I will never forget it. Loving someone who your ego labeled as "enemy" is beautiful and liberating. After the trip I felt renewed, not only physically, also psychologically. It`s like a heavy stone I carried with me the whole time, was put away.

Now, when I think of her. I do it in the most loving way possible and if my ego comes up with stories how bad the breakup was, I observe that till it stops. Then I send blessings to her and hope she`s doing fine.

What`s the outlook?: Maybe I can also heal myself from allergies in the future. I am pretty sure everybody can heal him- or herself if their mind is open enough to even consider the possibility of healing from inside. Braveness is needed but it`s worth a try.

[luckieluuke]

Hi and welcome to the forum! and thanks for sharing that story, I can really relate. Especially that alot of spiritual people are saying you have to forgive but honestly its not that easy and it´s ok not to forgive if you don´t feel like it. It can be a poweful and much needed lesson to the other part that you cannot forgive. And not forgiving doesnt mean you cannot be friends. And in time, forgivness might come.
This is really where psychedelic shines, it can really be a tool for healing i believe. Not sure about allergies and stuff but who knows? go find out!