Building Foundational Habits

[Iiris]

16 hours ago, DrewNows said:

Leos likes themselves and their life a lot, enjoy alone time, best at things having to do with entrepreneurship, the sun sine. Just got this from a video/channel i am learning through (it's quite fun) 

I can relate to some of that, though I feel a bit like leo descriptions don't really fit me. Thanks anyway Cool that you're learning astrology

A friend of a relative once asked me if I'm a scorpio, I said I'm a leo and she just laughed

16 hours ago, DrewNows said:

I am a pisces, naturally flowing, feminine quality, very spiritual, transmutable, and a burning heart truth seeker

I can see that

 

• Yoga ✅ 20min
• Meditation ✅ 15min alone
• Sleep
  • No electronics ❌
  • Bedtime ❌

I didn't flop bad. Went to bed before midnight. Fell asleep probably at 1. Woke up at 7 and couldn't fall asleep again.

I wasn't very aware through the meditation and it made me feel bad about myself

It's hot as hell outside. The old woman I work for and her husband, they have no air conditioning in their apartment, I don't know how they survive there. I'll have to suggest to them to buy a fan

This song makes me laugh, I can't help it

 

[Iiris]

• Yoga ✅ 15min + 45min
• Meditation ✅ 40min guided
• Sleep
  • No electronics ✅
  • Bedtime ✅

I've been feeling pretty good lately. Which makes me worried becuse I'm probably going to fall again soon. But I'll be prepared

Every thought that is persistent enough to bug me, I noticed is useless. Is this thought useful and how does it behave? Kept asking myself that yesterday, it seems to help.

I took a nap yesterday and slept 6.5 hours at night. This sunlight just makes me wake up too early.

I feel it in the sides of my body when I hang from that pull up bar. Makes sense because I've always felt like the sides of my body are damn stuck. The hanging helps I've felt more open lately. I have to keep my feet on the floor because otherwise the stretch is too much. And also, I don't count seconds, it's way better to count breaths. Six deep breaths is pretty good. I can feel the stretch strongly when I breathe out.

Edited June 27, 2020 by Iiris

[DrewNows]

31 minutes ago, Iiris said:

I feel it in the sides of my body when I hang from that pull up bar. Makes sense because I've always felt like the sides of my body are damn stuck. The hanging helps I've felt more open lately. I have to keep my feet on the floor because otherwise the stretch is too much. And also, I don't count seconds, it's way better to count breaths. Six deep breaths is pretty good. I can feel the stretch strongly when I breathe out.

Excellent, stretching out the spine, back and limbs, while meditating on the breath, the sides I call the lats, short for lateral back muscles (or some thing like that)

31 minutes ago, Iiris said:

I took a nap yesterday and slept 6.5 hours at night. This sunlight just makes me wake up too early

Leo is ruled by the sun, where the expression of happiness comes from. 
 

glad to hear you’re feeling true.

Interestingly recently had the thought about the purpose of suffering and why we create it, the answer was so obvious, and yet, relaxing,

all the negativity, pain, and suffering happens because they need to, once it stops, that’s when it’s served it’s purpose

btw: if I’m raising my vibration, I cannot sleep much, but I sure do a lot of yawning ? 

Edited June 27, 2020 by DrewNows

[Iiris]

59 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

Excellent, stretching out the spine, back and limbs, while meditating on the breath, the sides I call the lats, short for lateral back muscles (or some thing like that)

Yup it feels very effective! I read that 20 seconds of it is equivalent to 20 minutes of massage, or something

1 hour ago, DrewNows said:

Leo is ruled by the sun, where the expression of happiness comes from. 

Sunlight makes me depressed sometimes. But sometimes it makes me happy. I think it depresses me only when I'm indoors

1 hour ago, DrewNows said:

Interestingly recently had the thought about the purpose of suffering and why we create it, the answer was so obvious, and yet, relaxing,

all the negativity, pain, and suffering happens because they need to, once it stops, that’s when it’s served it’s purpose

Cool, I think I get it, to some degree! I've definitely noticed that if I handle suffering consciously, something better comes after

1 hour ago, DrewNows said:

btw: if I’m raising my vibration, I cannot sleep much, but I sure do a lot of yawning ? 

Hopefully mine is raising That yawning emoji made me yawn

[Wisebaxter]

@Iiris Try an android app called Habitica. It's amazing for tracking new habits. You can get it to show you graphs and everything 

Edited June 27, 2020 by Wisebaxter

[Iiris]

@Wisebaxter That app that is kind of like a game? I had it once actually but I deleted it But thanks for the tip anyway, I think I could try it again!

 

• Yoga ✅ 1h
• Meditation ✅ 50min guided
• Sleep
  • No electronics ✅
  • Bedtime ✅

Slept 8 hours

It's easy to get lost in my neverending thought patterns at work because I don't really have anything to do with my mind there. Another possibility is I could meditate while I'm working, I was doing it today. And asking the questions about my thoughts.

I feel kind of bad because I'm too tired to hold a proper conversation with the woman and her husband.

When I meditate and get to the point where I don't have that many thoughts, I just end up staring at this empty white screen with my mind's eye. And I get stuck in this empty white screen I can't get anywhere from it. I think that's because I lack awareness of my body.

[Wisebaxter]

@Iiris na that one isn't really a game, it's more a way of tracking daily habits. Basically you enter a description of the habit along with why you're doing it, then each day you check in and tick that day to record having done it. So you get like a streak, I'm sure you've come across that concept, where you get reward for completing consecutive days. Actually I use it just as a way to record and store info on habits and practices now, so I can scan down and choose which one I wanna dip into it. I have over a huhdred on there as I can't stop collecting them lol. Most of them come from Leo's stuff. Note egoic behaviours, or whatever. 

[Iiris]

@Wisebaxter But it's game ish? You have a character there and everything and when you complete your habits it gets more health or something. Habitica - Gamify Your Life, comes up when I google it, it's the one I had once. I don't have android but I can get that one to ios

 

• Yoga ✅ 30min
• Meditation ✅ 20min guided
• Sleep ✅ 7.5 hours

The sleep thing includes the no electronics and bedtime now. Took a nap yesterday

I had a zombie apocalypse nightmare. Playing TWD has traumatized me apparently. I had another apocalypse nightmare a few weeks ago but it wasn't a zombie one. Also about half a year ago I had a dream where I was in a zombie apocalypse with Sadhguru. Pretty absurd

Don't care about videogames that much but sometimes I enjoy roleplay games. Especially very emotionally engaging ones. And I like openworld games sometimes. I played this game named Okami at one point, it's lovely, it has beautiful graphics. It also has a spiritual tone to it. Though I don't really enjoy the fighting parts

I had a headache yesterday, probably from dehydration, and lack of sleep. I had to take a painkiller so that I could fall asleep

[Iiris]

• Yoga ✅ 25min + 40min
• Meditation ✅ 55min guided
• Sleep ✅ 8h

I've been planning to go on a meditation retreat. I asked one place by email if I can get my money back if they have to cancel the retreat because of the virus again. Or if I'd have to go to some online retreat instead. Which I won't do

The weather is a bit cooler now and it's raining, I feel like I can finally breathe, and I actually have energy to do stuff. Felt better at work too. The headache the day before yesterday was mostly because I had to do physical work for a long time in heat, I felt like jelly the whole day

This meditation gave me a new perspective

I think I understood on a deeper level, I'm creating my own suffering, by resisting things. Happiness = lack of resistance = acceptance = love. Or something like that. Nothing is actually bad

Edited June 30, 2020 by Iiris

[Iiris]

• Yoga ✅ 20min
• Meditation ✅ 20min alone
• Sleep ❌ 7.5h

Went to bed before midnight

Wasn't very aware throughout the meditation, felt bad about it

I've been feeling kind of lazy

On 29.6.2020 at 0:02 PM, Iiris said:

Though I don't really enjoy the fighting parts

Don't hate them either

 

[Iiris]

• Yoga ✅ 20min
• Meditation ✅ 15min alone
• Sleep ✅ 7h

I was just thinking what kind of an absolute lunatic Leo would sound like to people in the materialist paradigm. Ranting for hours that you are love and god

I'm not sure what kind of meditation I'm doing when I'm meditating alone. I'm just sitting there and trying to be aware. I think it's like a do nothing -meditation. I don't really go to any states when I meditate nowadays. When I was more serious about meditation I got into a hyperaware state a few times. But now it's just like, I'm aware, and then I'm not aware and start intense thinking, and then I become aware of my thinking for a short time, and then I start thinking without awareness again. If I did it a longer time I would probably go beyond that. I'm trying to meditate at least 15min everyday now. I'm not going above that yet because I don't want to get a huge backlash

[Wisebaxter]

On 29/06/2020 at 10:02 AM, Iiris said:

@Wisebaxter But it's game ish? You have a character there and everything and when you complete your habits it gets more health or something. Habitica - Gamify Your Life, comes up when I google it, it's the one I had once. I don't have android but I can get that one to ios

@Iiris Ah really sorry I got that one wrong, it's habithub, sorry to lead you on a wild goose chase there! But you don't have android and it's not available  (yet). Says coming soon. There are other apps like it though. But I was never disciplined enough to use them for that. I kind of adapt them to my own needs. 

Quote

I was just thinking what kind of an absolute lunatic Leo would sound like to people in the materialist paradigm. Ranting for hours that you are love and god

I linked one of Leo's videos to a friend and he referred to him as a delusional egomanic. This of course made me think about the sheer power of projection and denial, as I've known this guy for ages and this description fits him perfectly. Hope I'm not projecting now though 

Do you have materialists in your family, if you don't mind me asking. If so are you comfortable presenting them with this idea?

Edited July 2, 2020 by Wisebaxter

[Iiris]

2 hours ago, Wisebaxter said:

@Iiris Ah really sorry I got that one wrong, it's habithub, sorry to lead you on a wild goose chase there! But you don't have android and it's not available  (yet). Says coming soon. There are other apps like it though. But I was never disciplined enough to use them for that. I kind of adapt them to my own needs. 

No problem 

2 hours ago, Wisebaxter said:

Do you have materialists in your family, if you don't mind me asking. If so are you comfortable presenting them with this idea?

I don’t talk about it much to them. They both know I meditate and do stuff like that, but I don’t think they know how deep I’m into this stuff. Never mentioned Leo, my mom would think he’s a crazy cult leader

My mother is a materialist. My father is probably not. He’s a very philosophical and esoteric guy. I used to talk about God and reality and enlightenment with him even before I found Leo’s content. Though he doesn’t understand the emotional and love part of this at all. It’s fun to philosophize with him sometimes. I rarely do it nowadays though

Also my father’s mother was deeply into New Age kinda stuff. When I was alone with her she randomly started talking about chakras and angels and humanity’s rise into the 4th dimension and stuff like that

[Iiris]

• Yoga ✅ 20min
• Meditation ✅ 15min alone
• Sleep ✅ 7h and took a nap yesterday

I heard a mosquito when I was meditating and I had to open my eyes and try to find it. But I didn't. I found it later and smashed it dead with a stuffed animal from my bed.

Adriene has these yoga playlists for every month. Going through this June playlist right now. I'm a bit late, only halfway through

I don't have attitude but I have arms, and some abs gladly

[Iiris]

• Yoga ✅ 1h
• Meditation ✅ 15min alone
• Sleep ✅ 7h and took a nap yesterday

Allergies are bugging me. I didn't have any when I as younger, now they're started to occur

My sister was vacuuming her room and had left her rolled mat in front of my door. I tripped on the mat and then I stepped on the edge of a record player that was laying on the floor, almost fell down the stairs after that. Now I have a bruise in the sole of my foot I can't step with it properly. The reason I tripped on the mat was because I was lost in my egoistical thoughts. Karma

[Iiris]

• Yoga ✅ 30min + 20min
• Meditation ✅ 15min alone
• Sleep ✅ 7.5h and took a nap yesterday

Naps have become my thang apparently

Too much attachment to these journals. I occasionally have a spike of shame over the littlest things I write. Then when I correct them later I have a spike of shame over correcting them. It's painful. It's just that I care too much. And try too much sometimes. And now I'm slightly ashamed by how much I care and am ashamed

Why try to create an image of yourself. Helping others is more important. Wayy more important. But sometimes I just feel like a love vampire. Most of the time

I signed up for the meditation retreat. I sign up for a music camp they ask me what's my favourite genre of music, I sign up for a meditation retreat they ask me if I've ever considered suicide. Jeez. Though that's understandable. I'm kind of worried if I did the payment thing right. I'll probably have to send them another email and ask.

[Wisebaxter]

On 02/07/2020 at 6:51 PM, Iiris said:

No problem 

I don’t talk about it much to them. They both know I meditate and do stuff like that, but I don’t think they know how deep I’m into this stuff. Never mentioned Leo, my mom would think he’s a crazy cult leader

My mother is a materialist. My father is probably not. He’s a very philosophical and esoteric guy. I used to talk about God and reality and enlightenment with him even before I found Leo’s content. Though he doesn’t understand the emotional and love part of this at all. It’s fun to philosophize with him sometimes. I rarely do it nowadays though

Also my father’s mother was deeply into New Age kinda stuff. When I was alone with her she randomly started talking about chakras and angels and humanity’s rise into the 4th dimension and stuff like that

@Iiris Proof that a materialist and a new ager can hit it off then! I have this idea in my head that I have to find a really spiritual woman and I'm sure it's limiting me big time, especially as most spiritual people still have massive Ego's anyway most of the time. 

I'm glad you grew up with both sides of the spectrum represented. That must mean you can relate to people from both camps a bit better. Thanks for sharing by the way 

[Iiris]

19 hours ago, Wisebaxter said:

@Iiris Proof that a materialist and a new ager can hit it off then! I have this idea in my head that I have to find a really spiritual woman and I'm sure it's limiting me big time, especially as most spiritual people still have massive Ego's anyway most of the time. 

I'm glad you grew up with both sides of the spectrum represented. That must mean you can relate to people from both camps a bit better. Thanks for sharing by the way 

Yeah I guess it has helped me to see the both sides better, though materialists definitely frustrate me sometimes. My dad mostly just hides his weird metaphysical ideas from people, he doesn't have the best communication going on with my mom. He just bursts out some weird shit now and then and makes my mom confused

 

• Yoga ✅ 20min
• Mediation ✅ 15min alone
• Sleep ✅ 7h

I was pretty close to not doing yoga and meditation yesterday, but managed

Been feeling more connected to everything today, especially to myself and nature. It's lovely.

[Iiris]

• Yoga ✅ 25min
• Meditation ✅ 15min alone
• Sleep ✅ 7h and took a nap

Got home from work today and spent a lot of time watching dumb youtube videos. I'm going to get my shit together now.

I did the payment thing right with the meditation retreat. It's super cheap because the teachers don't get paid they are there voluntarily. It's in december.

I need new shoes but I've been too lazy to look for them. I also need a new bicycle and I need a new zipper to my backpack. All of those are on the verge of totally falling apart. They've already fallen apart a bit.

Edited July 7, 2020 by Iiris

[Iiris]

• Yoga ✅ 20min
• Meditation ✅ 15min alone
• Sleep ✅ 7.5h

Apparently my guitar amp is falling apart too. It's almost 30 years old so it's understandable. And I didn't like it that much anyway. I'm just going to steal the one we have in our basement to my room. I don't like playing in the basement for some reason. The one in the basement has a way better sound. Though you have to play loud as heck with it and I'm not good enough to play loud as heck

What else? Felt a bit low yesterday. Just a total lack on inspiration for anything. I was a bit pissed off too. I use the fact that I'm in a hurry as an excuse for being pissed off. And I'm somehow always in a hurry. It's an incredible talent. Even if I first have plenty of time I manage to magically get into a hurry. I don't remember the last time I was early for school or work. I'm always just on time or a bit late. And I think I'm somehow the victim of being in a hurry. Like it's not my own god damn fault every time. Reminds me of my father way too much. ugh