Is Talking Shit About People Always Bad?

[LeonellCassio]

So Im been pondering this question and I'vent really found an anwer for it. If we as human have a deeper desire to express ourselfs authentically then why is it bad to talk bad about people. Or is talking shit about people authentic expression? 

hmmmm...

[Allinthemind]

What do you want to achieve by criticising others? It's one thing to express an opinion, but how will it affect them? There are situations where it may be appropriate. Will it help to form close relationships/friends?

[charlie2dogs]

4 hours ago, LeonellCassio said:

So Im been pondering this question and I'vent really found an anwer for it. If we as human have a deeper desire to express ourselfs authentically then why is it bad to talk bad about people. Or is talking shit about people authentic expression? 

hmmmm...

instead of looking at others look at yourself there will be enough there to criticize

[vizual]

4 hours ago, LeonellCassio said:

So Im been pondering this question and I'vent really found an anwer for it. If we as human have a deeper desire to express ourselfs authentically then why is it bad to talk bad about people. Or is talking shit about people authentic expression? 

hmmmm...

When you "talk shit" about people do you believe the thoughts and emotions that come up when you do it? Do you think these thoughts are a somewhat accurate description of who they are as a person? When you see these people the next time, do you judge them on the basis of the things you have said about them? 

If you really do think these labels to be true about these people, why do you feel the need to express them to others? I mean, if they are true, then surely everyone can see these things you are expressing, since they are true. 

But what if you are not sure if the stories you put onto people are true? Are you maybe looking for validation from other people by having them confirm your notion of reality so you can feel better about yourself? Would a truly authentic and honest person really pass rigid judgments on people to boost their own self ego? Are you willing to firmly stand behind all your comments about these people when you look them straight in the eye, if not, how authentic are you really?

Questions, questions, questions. 

[Falk]

5 hours ago, LeonellCassio said:

So Im been pondering this question and I'vent really found an anwer for it. If we as human have a deeper desire to express ourselfs authentically then why is it bad to talk bad about people. Or is talking shit about people authentic expression? 

hmmmm...

Usually talking shit about people is caused by perceiving them and yourself as objects ..then the story goes like this:

"object A" (your enemy) is decreasing the value of "object B" (yourself) by saying or doing this or that.

So logicaly if "object A" is an idiot than what he said or did is not reasonable, therefore it can´t deminish the value of "object A" ...day saved!

This is the easy logic behind the whole need for talking shit about people

[Mal]

@LeonellCassio

Hey Leonell, 

Sometimes we just got to let it out, if somebody has done something actually "bad" then it's kind of natural to let off steam.  I think this in moderation is fine, as long as we keep an eye on it and are working towards better things, for example: becoming more interested in our inner world.

It's the people who are continually toxic with it, you know those types, we all know "those types".  Obviously it's best to stay away from these people and not get involved in their obvious personal dramas.

But the bottom line is, I wouldn't try to stop myself "letting off steam" if I feel the situation is justified.  We are organisms with limitations of course, and we are not perfect, so making attempts to directly suppress or "quit" this kind of thing are a losing game, because all we end up doing is creating another aspect of ourselves that does nothing for the habit, but instead just shames us for being "like this".

Better to continue to do our introspection, meditation, shadow work etc and get to a place where these things have less grip over us.

 

[Vaishnavi]

I don't know about talking but realising that people can be shitty and that most of them ARE shitty, is important. 

Edited July 13, 2016 by Vaishnavi

[electroBeam]

Yes

Sometimes 'talking shit' about people can decrease or lower their reputation, and therefore virtually increasing yours.

[LeonellCassio]

@Mal That's a great response. Thanks

But it this talking shit and acknowledging other people's bad sides something 100% bad and no-no. Should I try to get rid of my shit thinking/talking response? Or is it good in anyway? What do you think?

[Mal]

4 minutes ago, LeonellCassio said:

@Mal That's a great response. Thanks

But it this talking shit and acknowledging other people's bad sides something 100% bad and no-no. Should I try to get rid of my shit thinking/talking response? Or is it good in anyway? What do you think?

It is what it is.

Just be aware of it, and focus on the work that needs to be done here: the inner work. 

No point making something bad, wrong, right etc... that's just the game, and it leads to nowhere but suffering and increasing differentiation. 

Look inside, gravitate towards that and forget about the pettiness. 

[MIARIVEL]

@LeonellCassio Lets face it everyone at some point always talks shit about someone else. But I've learnt over time that its not the way I want to live my life or the character I want others to me as. I also would never talk shit about someone if it got back to them and could hurt them, then again if I didn't care too much for the person then I probably wouldn't care. I find as you get older like myself, there are more important things to worry about then shitty people. Let them be a weak character (it shows to people) and carry on just reaching for that higher purpose. Time is precious, no need to waste it on shitty people.