Extremely worrying boner

[lostmedstudent]

@Nahm why did you ask that question? what is the point you are trying to make?

[lostmedstudent]

@The Monk i think there are a few things here. like others have said 1. dont feel ashamed or scared of what happened. it happened and that is it. you dont have to hate that part of yourself. by hating it, you dont make it disappear. 

2. the fact that you despise is so much could mean you need some shadow work, like @Rilles said. 

3. i think its normal that we get turned on by different things.  theres no right or wrong thing that arouses us. as far as your concern for pedophilia, did you read the DSM V diagnostic criteria? i will DM you and you can read and see if it fits you

overall i think its more of a fixation that you have on the idea that you might have it, and you hate that idea. it could be compulsive thinking. again ill send you the DSM diagnostic criteria for OCD 

i think you are fine. you have to understand that by hating it or not wanting it , it doesnt make it disappear. you have to accept that part of yourself and understand where its roots are. 

[Nahm]

@lostmedstudent

Wasn’t trying to make a point. Sometimes a question brings about clarity, an answer. In this case, it did.  

[Lyubov]

I think with stuff like this it's a balance of both journaling about it to understand the psyche as well as the dismantling of the structure, which has been shared extensively by several others in this thread. Take a deep breath... go lie down and do some slow focused deep belly breathing for 10/20 minutes. Imagine this whole problem and put it in a beautiful chest and close it and put some distance between it and yourself. You can open the chest any time when you feel calm and you can journal about it any time you want but stay in the present and notice how it is just labels, thoughts, emotions, sensations, etc. Best to approach this from a calm mind rather than a triggered one where you get lost in the content, fear and thought stories. Nothing wrong with any thought or feeling, they are thoughts/feelings after all aren't they? Simply that. Doesn't mean anything about who you are as a person. Love yourself fully, no need to get pulled down by shame. I've noticed the root of a lot of these intrusive thought experiences are linked to shame. A person who has more shame is more likely to get pulled down and bullied by experiences that make them draw negative stories about themselves. Try your best to reclaim that power of having an outside source tell you something you are not. I can tell you you aren't some bad label and there isn't anything wrong with you, which personally I fully believe is true, but that source of reassurance, self trust, and acceptance is best when it comes from you, not others.  

[Ry4n]

@The Monk I'm confident a counsellor at your university should be able to point you in the right direction no worries at all, they'll be able to point you to a good psychologist. If you explain to them you have OCD before going into details of specific obsessions, they will understand. 

 "I really feel like I need to get rid of this uncertainty, then tackle the issue head on."

The NEED to get rid of your uncertainty IS THE CORE ISSUE. Certainty can never be attained, merely accepted and in time even embraced, this is the biggest pill to swallow with OCD.

"Get out of your mind and into your life" By Steven C Hayes is a great starting point, following that to a T will take you far.

Fear is very much like a tree. We have many fears "what will this person think of me? What if I can't pay my rent in time? What if my boss doesn't like me?" But in reality all these fears go deeper than that. The fear of lacking resources, of being alone, and ultimately death. 

In truth you don't fear being a pedophile, you fear being alone. Stop looking at the superficial surface fears and focus on the root of your fears. 

Idk what else I can help you with, besides you doing the actual work. You're getting stuck in a loop of more certainty chasing with this thread (not that you should feel sorry for that, stop feeling sorry!)

 

[Javfly33]

On 23/5/2020 at 2:46 PM, The Monk said:

@Nahm I can tell if a thought about myself is true, if reality illustrates to me that I am what I think I am. 

It's the opposite. And you are doing it right now with this.

Something happens in reality, which has no meaning whatsoever.

Until you give it meaning.

And you give it a particular meaning, trying to "accuse" reality (projecting) as the "demonstration" of who you are. It's actually the opposite! 

Try this.

Next time when thoughts arise with the purpose of maintaining the identity of Who you believe yourself to be (aka, the situation "demonstrates" that I am like "this" happen again) maybe try to not instantly believe them. Maybe try letting them go a little bit and wait to other thoughts about that situation that do feel good. 

In doing that, you might discover that maybe you are greater than a fixed assumption you believed yourself to be. It's a matter of not jumping into conclusions.

 

Edited May 24, 2020 by Javfly33

[Mindfang413]

The fact the thought bothers you should tell you something. If you were a pedo, you wouldnt be disgusted about it and would actively search for those things to get off too. Ive dealt with very similar fears and thoughts before. You know and feel that such a thing is wrong to you and you would never want to do it. The boner is just a response, probably because the GAME seems sexual, not the children doing it.

[SamueLSD]

Probably POCD. It is literally nothing to worry about, let it go

[acurefornihilism]

As long as you don't feel sexually attracted to minors in general, I think you're fine.. boners can be super random. I got one from hearing my dog drink out of its bowl once.

[integral]

In many past cultures it was normal for women to be expected to bear a child as soon as they get there period. 10-12 years old. Women get there period at a young age for a very good reason... 

[Lyubov]

On 6/18/2020 at 2:42 PM, acurefornihilism said:

As long as you don't feel sexually attracted to minors in general, I think you're fine.. boners can be super random. I got one from hearing my dog drink out of its bowl once.

I got one once when my dog started licking my feet... was creepy and awkward 

the body just does stuff sometimes and is often times really nothing to even think or worry about, it's all the thinking and labeling that creates these obsessive thinking and worrying.

I can actually laugh about it now... to OP, I say don't take it seriously at all and let it go... try "The Sedona Method"

Edited June 20, 2020 by Lyubov