Self-actualization and femininity

[Samsam]

With self-actualization, I sometimes feel like I'm mostly training masculine skills: taking responsibility, controlling my emotions, working on my career etc. I'm having more difficulty even naming what kind of skills are feminine, let alone train them.

But being a woman, with a feminine 'core', I sometimes feel like bursting out in emotion, and surrender to the flow of the moment. However, I'm afraid to let go because I'm the only one taking care of me and my life, and secondly, it seems immature and not very "self-actualized" to do so.

I'm curious what you all think, what does feminine self-actualization look like? I'm guessing this question can be applied to the feminine side of men and women alike.

[IAmTheHolySpirit]

Yes, your biggest problem is your ego. You identify yourself as a "woman" and you get caught up in doing "feminine" or "masculine" things which are completely irrelevant. Gender doesn't exist. It is all consciousness. As long as you are stuck in that foolish identification, there is no hope for you. You'll be stuck in egoic patterns until you die. 

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I sometimes feel like bursting out in emotion, and surrender to the flow of the moment. However, I'm afraid to let go because I'm the only one taking care of me and my life, and secondly, it seems immature and not very "self-actualized" to do so.

Yes, the ego will make you believe that it is bad to let go and surrender to the present moment, while in fact, self-actualization is could literally be summed up in this sentence: "Surrender to the flow of the moment".

And yet, you believe the mind when he says "Surrendering to the flow of the moment is immature and not "self-actualized".

So you are being foolish and naive, unable to see through the egoic-mind and its plot to deceive you into unconsciousness and identification with whatever appears in the vast consciousness that you are.

You say 'I am afraid because I am the only one taking care of me and my life"

Can you please clarify whose life is it?

You don't have a life. That is delusion. You are life. There is no one taking care of life. Life is taking care of life, you are simply identifying with the illusory mind that tells you "I am taking care of us", that is a lie. It is a very big lie, and you buy it. There is no entity taking care of life, you are not taking care of life, you are life itself and life is taking care of life. You must understand this. "You" don't exist. There is literally only life alone.

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I'm curious what you all think, what does feminine self-actualization look like? I'm guessing this question can be applied to the feminine side of men and women alike.

 

There is no such thing as "feminine self-actualization" that is just a trick of the mind to make you believe that you have some special self-actualization path. That is complete bullshit. There is no such thing as a feminine self-actualization, and genders (male, female) are completely useless for self-actualization, they are only distractions.

Instead of wasting your time on this foolish egoic-mind that you currently identify as, I recommend watching Moojiji on youtube.

[JosephKnecht]

There is no such thing as feminine and masculine traits or skills. The skills that you feel uncomfortable with as a female, you reject them by calling them masculine.

To see yourself as a feminine woman, you have created self-limiting beliefs that you can't possess masculine traits. But you can. You must believe that you can take responsibility and control your emotions to take responsibility and control your emotions. 

To self-actualize, you have to re-own all the qualities that you have dis-owned. You must integrate the feminine with the masculine. 

I think the greatest aspect of self-actualization is the ability to surrender, which comes more easily to women than men. So consider yourself lucky to be a woman.

[Leo Gura]

You are forgetting that letting go, surrender, feeling emotions, and love are huge parts of this work.

[ivankiss]

The feminine listens. The feminine nurtures. The feminine cares. The feminine accepts. The feminine opens up and invites it all into the heart. The feminine forgives. The feminine feels.

This ofcourse has little to nothing to do with gender. It's an energy - a side to us all, if you will. 

Ultimately, integration of and balance between both the masculine and feminine is, imo, necessary for one to become "fully actualized".

[The observer]

@Samsam

I don't think anyone has answered your question yet.

It's very simple though; Shadow Work / Emotional Healing.

[Flowerfaeiry]

@Samsam  Getting in touch with my wildish nature. See the book "Women Who Run With the Wolves"  the author talks a lot about the subject you talk about in your question. 

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Samsam  others point out that an infinite being may be genderless, or an amalgamation of masculine and feminine elements in one endless-entity... that said, the process to actualize is quite different from the grand finale of enlightenment... (if we reach that)...  each of us is manifest with our own unique path... I don't see those feminine qualities as inherently immature or negative... *feminine expression can take many forms* (emotion isn't just for childish tantrums... it can be used in creativity and/or serving the universe/ others, etc too)... *there are many feminine qualities which are extremely powerful self-actualization tools*... consider revelling in feminine incarnate... @ @Flowerfaeiry awesome ?... 

[Aquarius]

21 hours ago, Samsam said:

But being a woman, with a feminine 'core', I sometimes feel like bursting out in emotion, and surrender to the flow of the moment. However, I'm afraid to let go because I'm the only one taking care of me and my life, and secondly, it seems immature and not very "self-actualized" to do so.

It's not immature to feel emotions. Maybe your feminine side is manifested immaturely, but a strong mature female can use her empathy and verbal skills very sharply in the workforce. Think alpha/omega/zeta females.. they run the world! 

Bursting out emotions may be a form of stress, not a feminine manifestation of the self. And it's not necessarily unhealthy, but something that's needed if you suppressed something in yourself. You may have underlying trauma about showing your feminine side. Letting go is a choice also. Some females are passionately pursuing something, not all of them are letting it all go. 

It's not all binary or one-dimensional either. These things have no gender really, just more prevalent some of them in females, some of them in males. 

 

[Samsam]

Thank you all for your answers. I think every one gave me a little piece of the puzzle to think about.