I want to be famous

[Nahm]

On 5/20/2020 at 8:34 AM, lostmedstudent said:

Is this an authentic manifestation of who i am , or is this some needy parts i need to do shadow work on?  A part of me doesnt want to just "forget about it and move on". But another part of me does forget about it when life is going well. 

You’re using time to thwart yourself right out of the great feeling of knowing what you are wanting and receiving it. Let go of the ‘this or that’ / ‘I don’t have enough to time’ / ‘It has to be one or the other’ stories. You have ample time to do what you want. The smallest steps each day change everything in terms of feeling. Express rather than suppress. Stop thinking about what other people think. Do what feels good for you. 

Definitely make a dreamboard, and you’ll notice resistant thoughts to what you wrote on there, to what you are wanting. Let them go, and much understanding of the nature of identifying and believing thoughts about yourself which are not true will occur. You’ll realize how you’ve been using labels like ‘anxiety’ to cover up that what is really going on is resistance to what you want.

[lostmedstudent]

thanks so much for everyones input

i pondered about my conflictual feelings further and i came up with the following points

1.  i want to create something out of my life, have fun creating it, and be known for it. i envy and look up to youtubers who have their own little community, not super famous, but with enough audience and support to know what their doing is meaningful. So theres a part of me who wants to create my highest self. this means it takes time and energy. 

2. i have a rewarding career of becoming a family doctor. i cannot say i am profoundly passionate about it because i wanted to become a psychiatrist. unfortunately,  i did not match in psychiatry (it was a very competitive process). i matched in family medicine and had to face a lot of rejection , it was a brutal 5 months period, where i worked hard on my file (CV, extracurriculars, spent 100s of hours drafting my motivation letter), then i got rejected by 10 programs even before the interview, travelled across the country to attend 10 interviews, and ended up in my 7th choice. it was a big slap in the face. it was the shittiest feeling ive ever felt. its the one thing where i can proudly say i work my ass off for, and i only get this one shot to choose my specialty. 

i am still recovering psychologically from this huge "relative" failure. i have a few options ahead of me. i could try to match in psychiatry again (chances are slimmer), or i could accept and move on. so far i have tried to accept to move on, but i dont feel happy. but deciding to try again means i have to pour all my energy and time into it. 

3. i have both endeavours. but i dont know what i really want and how much i want it. both takes tremendous amount of time and effort to achieve, i dont know which one to pick, or how to balance both. 

a lot of my resentment towards medicine these days simply come from the fact that the system beat me to the ground. i did not get what i wanted out of it. while i dont hate family medicine, i just dont feel good about having to do something because my first choice didnt take me. 

so @Nahm, i think dreamboard is great, i will start it . also @mmKay life purpose course is good. contemplation, meditation, psychedelics all will help me. but ALL OF THOSE THINGS TAKE TIME, how do i do all of those things, do i want too much!??!?!? 

 

[mmKay]

idk your exact situation but it feels like 1 2 and 3 are all solved by putting time and effort into Life Purpose. If I was you I'd go for  1-2 gap year just to think and introspect. I mean what's more valuable than understanding yourself and creating a fundation to live a fuflilling live for the rest of your life?

What's with the rush? Who cares if you finish your studies at 28 or 32.  You can even go back to studying to be a family doctor when you are 40 if you feel that's right for you. The career will still be there. 

Your pressure, rush and lack of time is self induced. Btw, right now your currency and what you call " rewarding " is money. What you call rewarding should be Passion and fulfillment, not dollars. Find your "what" and you will find " how " 

Also appreciate that most likely, your problems aren't unique. Don't you think every young human being struggles with finding meaning in his life?

On the other hand, this really isn't for everyone. Some people simply don't have the autonomy to be the leader of their own life , that's why the education system is great. It keeps people busy and on a " relative " good path that otherwise would just chill with their friends kicking Pepsi cans around and munching on Oreos on the couch, if not worse.

I'm not recommending anything,¡. You gotta feel into yourself , ask yourself the right questions and ultimately think for yourself.

PD:  a little graph that's usefull for somewhat of a fuzzy big picture understanding of Life Purpose. Credits to whoever posted this before on the forum.

 

[Aquarius]

Just my two cents.. if you plan to be famous, be careful to ask yourself "For what do I want to be remembered?"

Make sure the answer is so profound and heartwarming, liberating, or simply put: noble, that you will work on your fame knowing that even if you get less followers than others, they will get something valuable in return for their time.

Kids of tiktok are entertaining, but you gotta give value to someone instead of just grabbing their attention. Those people won't be remembered for long either way. Or will be remembered for wrong reasons. You have to differ. 

Look at Nikola Tesla or Jules Verne .. they became popular but today not many people know them. They gave tons of value though. Have a few persons you look up to that you wanna be similar to. For direction.

And lastly, read books and inform yourself about the things you wanna do. 

Edited May 23, 2020 by Aquarius

[Nash_Octavius]

I had a similar desire to be famous as a child. I think that is a normal phenomenon. Children have big dreams are fairly aware they have their whole life ahead of them to create for themselves. Parents and teachers encourage this sort of liberal (not the political orientation) attitude.  It's almost a cliche asking a child 'And what do you want to be when you grow up?' and getting some pretty top-shelf answers. Incidentally, our culture in the West overtly implants a propensity in us from a very young age to adopt desires in the ilk of becoming famous, aquiring lots of money, driving a nice car etc. The ideas we collect as children evolve as we age and mature, but the bedrock of cultural fabric is irreversibly absorbed: the implantations of what kinds of things to value like fame and money and mateiral possessions don't easily leave us like our hotwheels or barbie dolls. By the way, this value system is largely defined in Spiral Dyanmics by the color Orange. Check out Leo's video on Spiral Dynamics if not aready.

Anyway, to get more down to earth, I'm going to submit to you a few ideas that I've personally come to on this topic...

-being famous would be probably be a drag

-very few famous people became famous by the force of their will

Being famous introduces a lot of problems like loss of privacy, being in the public eye for scrutiny, and seems to be a more complicated existence in general. Most famous people became famous by being in the right place at the right time, usually by way of some extraneous circumstance largely out of their control. Daniel Radcliffe for looking like a fictional character, Kardashians for a sex tape, Paris Hilton for being a blond girl who happens to be from the Hilton family, musicians like Coldplay, Grimes, the Eagles did not expect to get big. You get my point. It's unexpected in so many cases. And if not, the rise to fame is often from excellence in a craft or skill. Michael Phelps, Stephen Curry, Usain Bolt, Yo-Yo Ma, Nikola Tesla. To make an important distinction, even among this group of highly skilled individuals (Phelps, Curry, Tesla, etc.) it is overwhelmingly likely that ALL of them became famous by simply loving their craft. Phelps probably loves to swim. Yo-Yo Ma just loves music. Tesla undoubtedly loved science. The getting famous part was just a result of these individuals pouring all of themselves into that thing they love. And this ALL circles back to one of Leo's foundational messages: these people found their life purpose and self-actualized - to an astonishing level. To get back to reality, 99.9% of us are not that awesome. Not me. So I just accept that being famous probably won't happen, and I'm okay with that. Whether this idea bums you out or not, I would recommend actively practicing gratitude for the life you have. I began a practice where I 'count my blessings' as I ride my bike home from work. It's amazing how effective that was for me. 10 minutes a day while weaving through traffic, I thank my lucky stars for... Plus, a fair number of famous people wish they weren't famous and yearn for a normal existence. Isn't that funny! Besides, fame didn't never arrived anyone at a place of joy forever into the bubblegum sunset. The rich and famous suffer like everyone else, have similar problems, go through traumatic breakups, have loved ones pass away, have existential crises just like you are experiencing here.  .... 

But I confess, I didn't fully shake my own desire for lavish attention and approval from others. So, I found ways to extract that out of the world. In my own case, I picked up juggling a few years ago. It was fun for me and I also noticed the positive attention I got from people. So I kept at it and improved. People's reactions scaled with how much I practiced which motivated me to keep getting better. I definitely thrive on the feedback I get from others. Am I conceited? narcissistic? Maybe, I guess I am, but fuck it I'm having fun and more importantly I am making something happen in my experience that I want to happen. It took a shit load of work and still, most people don't pay me any attention all. Why should they? I'm just another random guy to everyone else; and when somebody does give me positive feedback, I put a smile on my heart. And that's enough! That's no free bus ride, either- I worked for it! So to get the kind of attention you desire this will likely be the path you will need to take: lots of hard work. I saw a post up above that mentioned 10,000 hours to mastery. That's what I've heard and what Leo, himself says. Commit to a thing. Most people don't commit to anything ever in their life. Committing to watching all seasons of Game of Thrones in a weekend is not the right kind of commitment. Make a genuine commitment that comes from YOU. In context of self-development, it's perhaps important above all to recognize that being famous and getting the attention of a celebrity or a street juggler is nothing more than a trivial overlay onto your experience. In the end there is nothing more sacred than the integrity of the mind. No applaud or roars of approval will afford you inner peace.